Message the Bleach Shinigami
by abercrombie1218w
Summary: You write a message... they reply...its just that easy... :   Aizen and them is not included! Vizards are also not included! Sorry about that, but no worries ICHIGO is! REVIEW PLEASE! SPECIAL IS UP! PLEASE READ!
1. Introductory

By abercrombie1218w PLEASE REVIEW!

BLEACH DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH!

Message the Bleach Shinigami

**Introduction**

**Dear Fellow Readers,**

**In order for the story to continue, you must write a message to any bleach Shinigami that are in the Gotei 13 (not including Aizen and them). Every week or so, when there are enough messages, they will be posted online with the reply. So start writing messages! Anyone except the ones that betrayed them is included; including Ichigo but not the Vizards sorry. So start reviewing and send!**

**Thanks!**

**abercrombie1218w**


	2. Letters to some lucky people

By abercrombie1218w PLEASE REVIEW SO THERE WILL BE FUTURE CHAPTERS!

BLEACH DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH!

Also when you send a message please sign off! That would be very helpful. :)

**Message the Bleach Shinigami**

Chapter 1: Letters to some "lucky" people?

Uryu, will you marry me, and I swear to freakin god im not that  
>stalker outside ur window... okay I am<p>

Renji, Ichigo, and Rukia, did you know about this whole Renruki  
>Ichiruki thing that's going around?<p>

From _uryufangirl_

Dear um, _uryufangirl_,

Uryu and the others aren't Shinigami. Whoa! You stalk him? Actually, he never really notices because he is kinda caught up in his "Quincy" business. "Oh, in the name of the Quincy this, in the name of the Quincy that." I swear, his ego is big enough as it is. And what about this whole Renruki and Ichiruki that's going around? What the hell is that?

Off to kill hollows,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Mayuri Kurotsuchi:

I'm into science. Science is cool. I like your division. Very cool. Perhaps you should try out robotics? Play Portal 2. It'll give you some ideas (like lemon grenades; D) Just one thing. STOP BEING MEAN TO NEMU! IT'S WHY PEOPLE GENERALLY HATE YOU!

Love, _SuperYuuki _

Dear _SuperYuuki_,

You like science, eh? Perhaps you would let me dissect you? Be nice to Nemu you say? I created her, so I can do whatever I want without insignificant test subjects like you interfering.

Still wondering if I should poison you one day,

Mayuri Kurotsuchi

Dear Momo Hinamori,

I hate you. Go die.

Love and hugs,

_SuperYuuki_

Dear _SuperYuuki_,

I wouldn't be saying those things to someone who is still in recovery. And if you continue, or vice versa. I will use Hyorinmaru on you if you ever say anything bad to Momo!

Go die in your corner,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

This is to Ichigo….

I love you sooo much! Would you ever consider dating me?

From _.OUT_

Dear _LET. IT. OUT_,

Um, thanks? But sorry, I'm not interested.

Not into relationships,

Ichigo Kurosaki

PS. I'm sure Kon would like to though.

This is to Byakuya…

How do you deal with the Shinigami Women's Association building secret tunnels in your manor?

From _. OUT_

Dear _. OUT,_

I find it. I destroy it. And anyone who is unfortunate enough to be in it.

Off to destroy,

Byakuya Kuchiki

Dear Soifon,

Where did you get your idea for your hairstyle?

Just curious,

_bleach409_

Dear _bleach409_,

Simply, my beautiful mistress Yoruchi had her hair designed almost the same way when she was captain before me of the 2nd squad. So of course I would have something just like her!

Secretly taking pictures,

Soifon

Dear Yachiru,

Where do you get all the candy? And what is your favorite kind?

Candy lover,

_bleach409_

Dear _bleach409_,

I go to the World of the Living often. Also, when Busty is drunk I ask her for candy and she gives it to me. Shorty kun, gives me all the candy he gets from Ukitake taicho. Gramps gives me candy too. Unohana taicho specializes in making lollipops! My favorite type? I LOVE EVERY CANDY THERE IS!

Give me more candy,

Yachiru

**Well, that's all I have for now! Send more letters for more chapters! You made send multiple letters at once! Please review! **

**abercrombie1218w**


	3. More Letters

By abercrombie1218w **PLEASE REVIEW FOR FUTURE CHAPTERS!**

**BLEACH DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH! **

**IF YOU ARE SENDING A MESSAGE, PLEASE SIGN OFF! THAT WOULD BE VERY HELPFUL!**

**Message the Bleach Shinigami**

Chapter 2:

Ichigo: I want to know do you like strawberries?

From _KingofHeartless'09_

Dear _KingofHeartless'09,_

Why does everyone always ask this? Just because my name has two meanings it doesn't mean it's the strawberry one! It means one who protects! Oh, and do I like strawberries? NO! It's so sour! Who would want to eat crap like that?

My name means "one who protects",

Ichigo Kurosaki

Rangiku: I think you are rather pretty and how do you keep your hair nice?

_KingofHeartless'09,_

Dear _KingofHeartless'09_,

Thanks so much! It's always nice to have someone lighten up your day after a nice drink of sake! I use rather a lot of hair products! Most of them which I got from the World of the Living of course! Usually I use a bunch of shampoos all mixed together! It makes a rather funny color I think! Then you use your, what do you call it? Curling iron? And you do whatever shape you want with your hair! Then WHA LA!

Hope that helped,

Rangiku Matsumoto

Soifon: Can you teach me to be a soul reaper?

From _KingofHeartless'09_

Dear _KingofHeartless'09_,

You simply have to go to the Shinigami Academy to learn. The rest is up to your abilities. If your fast, and have quick movements and can listen to orders, your chance of coming to my squad may be high. However, it really all depends on where they put you.

Go to the Academy,

Soifon

Dear Yamamoto,

How do you deal with the everyday shenanigans of all your subordinates?

From _xJ11Cx_

Dear _xJ11Cx_,

That is why there is the Gotei 13. The captains simply do a part of the work I can't always do. Also, there is squad 12 keeping watch of everybody at all times.

Going to have another captains meeting now,

Yamamoto

Ichigo. Don't you think you should apologize yo tatsuki?

From _xJ11Cx_

Dear _xJ11Cx_,

What for? It's not like I did anything wrong! Besides, she looks at me creepily everyday like I did something wrong! But I rather not ask, she probably wants to dare me to eat Orihime's cooking!

Ignoring Tatsuki's weird stares,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Dear Urahara. What do you do to the gigai's when there are not being used.  
>It's kind of creepy if you just leave them outside.<p>

From _xJ11Cx_

Dear _xJ11Cx_,

Well, I just put them in this big storage closet I have and leave there until there in use again. Are you mentioning the fact I put Ichigo's outside? Well, you see, there are a lot of gigai's, and Ichigo's just couldn't fit, so I just left it there for him to get faster.

Off to put Ichigo's gigai back outside,

Kisuke Urahara

Now Rukia, I have a favor to ask.

Ichigo was acting stupid, wanna go beat the living daylights out of him?

_Naichingeru_

Dear _Naichingeru_,

Ichigo was acting stupid again? Seriously! He makes my job as a Shinigami harder than it is. Though my advice would be is to take him to the Shiba clan. I'm sure Kukaku would have something special for him in mind.

Paying a visit to them now,

Rukia Kuchiki

Dear Hichigo. (The crazy hollow one, not Ichigo,)

Can you do a burning montage with a cool metalica song playing?

From, a pyro,

_Naichingeru_

Dear _Naichingeru,_

It's Ichigo right now, and besides, I wouldn't let him control my entire body and mind. Now that I have had help from the Vizards, I don't think he will be invading and taking over. And anyways, why the hell would you want to hear that? Its freaky!

Don't send messages to the "other" me,

Ichigo Kurosaki

By abercrombie1218w

Please REVIEW for FUTURE CHAPTERS!

Authors note: There might not be a chapter 3 if I don't get enough reviews and questions. Also you are allowed to do multiple questions!


	4. More letters, please?

By abercrombie1218w PLEASE REVIEW FOR FUTURE CHAPTERS!

Message the Bleach Shinigami

Chapter 3: More letters, please?

Dear Komamura,

Do you have a tail?

Forever loving soft things,

_v13p_

Dear _v13p_,

Is this even relevant to you? Isn't it sort of obvious that I am an animal and well, yes, I have a tail.

Stop asking weird things,

Komamura

Dear Ken-chan,

Would you kill somebody for calling you Ken-chan, besides Yachiru?

Hiding just in case,

_v13p_

Dear _v13p_,

Why yes of course! It would only be fun because then I can fight someone! Where are you? I need to get warmed up before Strawberry comes so I can FIGHT him!

Off to get Yachiru first,

Kenpachi Zaraki

Dear Kyoraku,

Lovin' the kimono... Where'd you get it? ; D

A hopeful fan,

_v13p_

Dear _v13p_,

My kimono, you say? Yes, it's just one of the needs a guy needs everyday besides the sake and a nice nap. You can actually get them anywhere, like the Seireitei Store! Its sells these for a good price too!

Going to take a nap,

Shunsui Kyoraku

PS. Don't let my sweet Nanao find me, she wants me to sign some boring papers. It would ruin my day!

Dear Ichigo,

Too bad.

_Naichingeru_

Dear _Naichingeru_,

Thanks so much for the "work out." Kukaku made both me and that idiot Ganju do like a million pushups, and run practically around the whole soul society! Thankfully and also unthankfully, Ganju got his stupid pigs so we didn't really run the whole time, but then Kukaku found out and then we got this "fitness program" (though I think it was mainly for Ganju, but don't tell him I said that) where we had to do all these crazy exercises I see my idiotic dad do at home! All of it was horrifying! You better pray I never find you, or I'll kick your ass!

Running from Kukaku right now,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Dear Mayuri,

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LEAVE THE CHUCKY MAKEUP AT HOME! YOU LOOK LIKE A CLOWN!

_Hotaru_

Dear _Hotaru_,

It is not really make up. I simply put it on because you can't let anyone know what you really look like. Or else you're putting danger on yourself. I look like a clown you say? Well, um what was your name? I usually don't remember insignificant brats, Nemu says Hotaru. Well, Hotaru, I suggest you grab a mirror yourself and check your own reflection first.

Wondering if I should poison sometime,

Mayuri Kurotsuchi

Dear zangetse: two things. how do you deal with horse boy all day everyday,  
>and have you ever just wanderd outside the cityscape before? supposedly hollow<br>found mountains and forestland.

sincerily, _the crimson serpent_.

Dear _the crimson serpent_,

Do you mean my zanpakuto "Zangetsu?" Well, we actually have one hell of a time every day. And about the cityscape, well, Zangetsu says he likes staying there, and no, he doesn't wander out.

Hoping you meant my zanpakuto,

Ichigo Kurosaki

dear hinamori momo,

i know your still recovering but ur awesome.i love how you're so kind but still  
>strong. you kick butt! by the way, do you have any "interest" in kira or<br>toshiro? hmmmm? / :} go for it girlfriend! please reply.

p. do u get such cute hair?

wuv, _mysterios_

Dear _mysterios,_

I wasn't able to answer the last one that was for me because Shiro chan told me that it wasn't for me but I'm sure it was. I'm still in recovery but I'm feeling much better now. Me and Tobiume says thanks about the "kick butt" part it makes both of us really happy to have a fan. And what do you mean by "interest?" Wait! Don't look at it wrongly! Me and Kira are just really good friends after all, we went to the Academy together. And me and Shiro chan? We're just childhood friends! How I have cute hair? I do? Really? Thanks so much! I really don't pay attention to it, I just leave it in a bun all day, and it drives Shiro chan nuts for some reason.

Happy to have a fan,

Momo Hinamori

Dear Sexy Byakuya,

Will you marry me? You are so awesome! 3 What do you think of Jasmine Kuchiki?  
>What do you think of my interviews so far?<p>

P.S. This isn't the last you'll hear from me! :D

P.P.S Thanks for taking such good care of Rukia! You big teddy bear! =)

From _Rukia141_

Dear _Rukia141,_

I have already answered your question about marriage; I have no intention of ever finding another woman to replace Hisana. I have only one word for your interviews: ludicrous.

Scatter Senbonzakura,

Byakuya Kuchiki

Dear Rukia,

Did you know you're my idol? I look up to you a lot! If I see you on the  
>computer, I throw my keyboard in the air! If I see you on T.V. I throw my<br>popcorn and remote in the air! If I see you in the manga, I throw my manga in  
>the air!<p>

From _Rukia141_

Dear _Rukia141,_

Um, thanks? I think I know you're a fan by your pen name. Wait, did you see I'm on TV? When did I get that famous? Anyway, got to go now, Renji and Ichigo are having a retarded fight again.

Kicking their faces again,

Rukia Kuchiki

PS. Renji and Ichigo were wondering who I was messaging to, and they well uh, puked when I said Rukia141.

Dear Yoruichi,

When I first found out you were a girl, I was like, "Holy fish sticks on  
>butter!" Then I was like, "Oh! No wonder she was so smart and clever!" ;)<br>What's it like to be a kitty with a guy voice?

From _Rukia141_

Dear _Rukia141,_

Yes! I got a message before Kisuke did! And thank you very much! Though Ichigo never admits it, he knows that I'm the smart one. We had a contest today to see who was smarter, me or that punk Ichigo. Our judge was Uryu Ishida. And I was declared the winner of course. Hmm, what's it like to be a kitty with a guy voice? I think its okay. It scares that kid Byakuya to bits when I jump out of nowhere and steal his hair piece of "nobility." You should have seen him chasing after me!

Going to go do it again,

Yoruichi

Dear Ichigo,

When are you going to marry Rukia and have babies?

P.S. You look sexy with longer hair. :D

From _Rukia141_

Dear _Rukia141,_

You again? Seriously? The interviews were already enough! (For those who don't know please read Interview: Bleach Pairings by Rukia141) Me, marry Rukia? NO WAY IN HELL WOULD I EVER DO THAT! Byakuya would crush me! Though you should probably tell that to the perverted Kon, he keeps hoping he gets a message but then I have to remind that stupid plush toy that he isn't a Shinigami. KON! GET THE HELL OFF ME!

Giving Kon to my sisters for punishment time,

Ichigo Kurosaki

PS. Go to your "sexy" Byakuya instead. Get the hell away from me!

By abercrombie1218w

**PLEASE REVIEW FOR FUTURE CHAPERS! ALSO, PLEASE SIGN OFF! ITS ANNOYING WHEN PEOPLE DON'T SIGN OFF! **


	5. Just regular chapter 5

By abercrombie1218w

**Author's note: Thanks sooo much for all who have reviewed the story! Also, thanks so much to Rukia141 for telling people about my story that was well, at first, lame. Thanks again for REVIEWING! ALSO, THERE MAY BE A SPECIAL SOON IF I GET UP TO AT LEAST 100 REVIEWS! THE CHAT WILL BE BETWEEN TWO OF THE MOST POPULAR SHINGAMI! SO REVIEW TO SEE THE SPECIAL!**

Dear Shiro-kun:

I love you my ice king :D! You are so handsome! I absolutely love you, even  
>if you act bored and cold. Truthfully I doubt you're like that since I can tell<br>you care a lot about your close friend Momo. Also why must you be so serious  
>all the time? You focus too much on your Shinigami duties D :!( even if you are<br>a Captain) you should loosen up maybe go visit Karin and play soccer:]!

With Love, _OpX3_

Dear _OpX3,_

I'm serious because if I'm not, all those other "adults" that act like immature retarded kids will think I don't take my job seriously. And why should I go visit some kid and play that stupid game of soccer? If you thought I enjoyed it, well think again. Also, I only focus so much on my duties because Matsumoto never does her job unless I take all the sake she has away. If you think I'm too into my Shinigami duties, then go tell her to do her work.

Off to do more paperwork,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Dear Strawberry:

Hey there Ichiberry! How's it been with you and Rukia ;D? I swear romance is  
>bound to bloom with the tension that goes on between you guys -_-'!I must Shun<br>you for not being together! SHUUUUN! SHUUUUNAH!Now, hurray up and get together  
>damn it -.-!<p>

With faith in Ichiruki, _OpX3._

Dear _OpX3,_

What's all this crap that's going around about me and Rukia being together? I already got enough from those** BEEP! **Interviews! (Again, for those who don't know, read Interview: Bleach Pairings! It's totally awesome!) Thank goodness Rukia isn't here right now to see this, or my dad will have to buy another computer!

Stop saying all that shit,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Dear Renji:

I must ask what you you think about being paired with Ichigo as a couple ;D?  
>You must be freaking outgoing off to kill someone at the moment thinking the  
>fans are crazy? Hehe, how I wish I could take a picture of that.<p>

Happy to tease a Pineapple, _OpX3_

Dear _OpX3,_

WHAT THE **BEEP! **Why would anyone in hell EVER do that? I'm NOT GAY! I like- wait, why should I tell you? That is none of your business. Oh yeah, and it's NOT A GUY! IT'S A GIRL DAMNMIT!

Stop spreading rumors,

Renji Abarai

PS. I'M NOT A PINEAPPLE!

Dear Ichigo,

My plan worked.

_Naichingeru._

Dear _Naichingeru,_

Shut up! When I find you, I'm gonna beat the crap out of you!

Go to hell already,

Ichigo Kurosaki

To Byakuya,

Greetings. I'm here to ask about what you think of your *coughlamecough* jokes  
>when people won't laugh at it?<p>

Best regards. _Minicha _

Dear _Minicha,_

I'd rather not think of it if I were you. It seemed I scared everything out of my lieutenant last time. Would you like to hear a joke?

I have no time for bothersome people,

Byakuya Kuchiki

To Urahara,

Where did you get a stripy hat, clogs, and an awesome fan? Can't find it  
>anywhere here! *glomps* You're cute, you know...<p>

_Minicha_

Dear _Minicha,_

Now, that's just my little secret. HA! Yoruichi! I GOT A MESSAGE! BEAT THAT! Wait, you already got a message, BEFORE ME?

Off to go cry in my corner,

Kisuke Urahara

To Ichigo,

What do you think of Renji (A.K.A Red Pineapple head)?

_Minicha_

Dear _Minicha,_

A total stupid retard. What else could he be?

Trying my best to think of something,

Ichigo Kurosaki

To Yoruichi,

It's awesome seeing you shape-shift into a cat! Teach me how to do it! You're  
>one of the people I look up to the most!<p>

_Minicha_

Dear _Minicha,_

Thanks so much and I beat Kisuke again! How to shape-shift? Well, that isn't really something I would like to teach someone.

Thanks again,

Yoruichi

To Ukitake,

Lets join forces, and give Shiro-chan #1 more candies!

_Minicha_

Dear _Minicha,_

_Cough! Cough!_ Sorry I'm not feeling so well today. _Cough! Cough! Cough!_ YES! Finally, someone agrees that candy should always be given to the young prodigy!

Off to buy some candy,

Jushiro Ukitake

To Kyoraku,

Eh, Nanao's coming your way, ready to hit you with a REALLY giant book...

_Minicha_

Dear _Minicha,_

Oh no! I better get my bottle of sake and run before she comes! OW! I'm SORRY MY SWEET NANAO!

Please tell her to stop hitting me,

Shunsui Kyoraku

To Yamamoto,

Umm... sir, from the past 100 years, why haven't your appearance change?

_Minicha_

Dear _Minicha,_

In the Soul Society, we age rather well, slow. Are you saying I still look like my young self?

Checking the mirror,

Yamamoto

To Hitsugaya-san,

Do you like your hair? May I ruffle- err, never mind. Getting to the real  
>question, do you despise it when Matsumoto suffocates you with her chest?<p>

_Minicha_

Dear _Minicha,_

Do I like my hair? What type of question is that? Well, I guess since it's my hair of course I would like it. And of COURSE I DESPISE IT WHEN MATSUMOTO SUFFOCATES ME!

Stop asking the obvious,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

To Rukia,

We can make a Chappy fan-club! I love Chappy too!

_Minicha_

Dear _Minicha,_

Yay! Finally someone loves CHAPPY! I'll go ask Nii sama if we can have a special room for that.

Going to ask now,

Rukia Kuchiki

**Alright! That's it for now, the next one is coming up! I'm still answering a lot of questions! **

**By abercrombie1218w **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	6. Mailbox stuck

By abercrombie1218w **please REVIEW FOR FUTURE CHAPTERS!**

Also, please keep in mind of the **unique story** if I get up to at least **100 reviews! **

**Authors note: Thanks so much to Rukia141, Minicha, OnepieceX3, Naichingeru, and Griffon of the Nights, and many others who reviewed and well made most of this chapter.**

Message the Bleach Shinigami

Chapter 5: Mailbox stuck

Kenpachi, how in the world do you deal with a hyperactive, sugar crazed kid like Yachiru? Do you just ignore it or do you have earplugs, I personally think you're partially deaf in one ear but that's just me.

_Griffon of the Nights_

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

Well, it takes some time getting used to. That's why I have bells in my hair. Instead of always hearing Yachiru talk, I also get to hear the nice sound of bells.

Doing my hair right now,

Kenpachi Zaraki

For Captain Hitsugaya, I am really trying to control myself and not go completely insane but...Can I use you as my personal AC? I'm prone to overheating and I definitely think you'd be a splendid cooler, so if you ever need a job you can consider yourself hired.

_Griffon of the Nights_

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

I'm so sorry _Griffon of the Nights; _this is Rangiku speaking by the way. My taicho got angry when reading this letter and said that if I answered it, he won't make me do any paperwork tomorrow! So well of course I said yes. I suggest you not say anything about the AC; you wouldn't want to know what happened to the last guy who said that. He made the whole office turned into ice! Also, you sort of pissed off Hyorinmaru at the same time. Momo is with him right now so he can calm down. Awww, the two of them look so CUTE together! I'm gonna take a picture right now!

Getting my camera,

Rangiku Matsumoto

For Ichigo, I can see where you're coming from with the double meaning behind your name and how people abuse it, but they mostly mean well and a good percentage of them I'd be willing to put good money on them being really, really "bad" crazy. Now for your question, would you like to go fan girl hunting with me? It'll be great, I'll bring barbecue and Mary sue repellants, but you have to bring a face shield for blood spatter purposes. I do not want you getting some weird diseases; I can't foot the bill for your treatment, if it's treatable that is.

_Griffon of the Nights_

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

Why would I go fan girl hunting with you? I'm busier than it is from all the hollows that I don't have time for perverted things. But Kon is asking if he can go.

Take Kon with you,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Byakuya, lots of people seem to mistake you for a chick, they need their eyes checked, and this coming from somebody who's almost legally blind! For your question I'll stick to something fairly basic, did you receive training for the ram rod straight posture you consistently maintain? Or is that natural?

_Griffon of the Nights_

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

I do not appreciate those who call me a girl. As you may have said, those brainless people need to go see Unohana or something, I'm sure they're suffering something mental. My posture is natural. As a Kuchiki, I am born with good positioning and reflects to fight.

Tell them to get their heads checked,

Byakuya Kuchiki

Kisuke, you sad strange little man, I do like you, honest. But not as much as others, I just felt bad because Yoruchi got a question first, your question is simple, have you ever lost your hat to one of the crazed fan girls, and if so did you mow them down to get it back?

_Griffon of the Nights_

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

Thankfully, someone was able to pity me for losing the bet with Yoruichi. _Sniff, Sniff. _Well, yes, I have lost my hat, but I'm so nice that I just let them keep it since I have a closet full of hats!

Looking into my closet now,

Kisuke Urahara

Uryu, I have this shirt and it is falling apart by the seams like a shoe repeatedly left out in the rain and then sun dried. What can I do to fix it? It's my favorite shirt and I really don't want to junk it but it's really bad, can you help?

_Griffon of the Nights_

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

How many times do I have to say that Uryu isn't a Shinigami? Or else the story wouldn't be called, "Message the Bleach **SHINIGAMI!" **But if it really needs fixing, then hand it over and I'll just give it to Ishida tomorrow.

Stop sending mail to the wrong people,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Jushiro, who killed Starrk? I need to check for a friend so she'll stop pestering me.

_Griffon of the Nights_

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

Who killed Starrk? Hmm, I'll ask Kyoraku on that. _Cough! Cough!_ Sorry, I can't really check it for you; Kiyone and Sentaro are making me stay in bed right now.

_Cough! Cough! _Doing my best,

Jushiro Ukitake

For Kon, you look like the perfect chewy toy for me and I'm trying to figure out if you're made of non-toxic materials, are you safe to maim or am I going to need to get my stomach pumped after?

_Griffon of the Nights_

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

God damn it! I thought I made it clear to you that you're only supposed to mail SHINGAMI! Kon isn't here right now anyway; I gave him to my sisters yesterday for punishment time. He totally deserves it. You want him? Fine, but no give backs. And yes he is definitely safe to maim.

Tired of all the wrong mail,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Dear Kenpachi,

Can you please go beat the hell out of Byakuya effing Kuchiki so my sister can  
>go ahead and shut up?<p>

Thanks,

_Jennifer_

Dear _Jennifer,_

Sure thing. As long as I can FIGHT HIM! HA! HA! HA!

Trying to find him now,

Kenpachi Zaraki

Dear Toshiro,

How do you feel about Ukitake treating you like a kid? You know, all that  
>candy.<p>

Later!

_Sammy Jo_

Dear _Sammy Jo,_

I certainly hate it when he treats me like a kid! Seriously, he should be the one getting the candy for being so immature!

Going back into my iced office,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Dear Renji, how do you feel about Ichigo always stealing the thunder and being  
>the hero?<p>

Forever your outrageously annoying shadow!

_Rukia141_ :D

Dear _Rukia141,_

_PUKE! _Oh not you again. After you sent a message to my captain, he literally asked me if I wanted to go training with him right away. It sort of scared the hell out of me!

Stop sending me messages you creep,

Renji Abarai

To Ichigo: why do you hurt tatsuki so? She is your friend you brute D: give  
>her some love!<p>

_Maaka __oro_

Dear _maaka oro,_

Well, because she can handle it! If I don't she'll try kicking my ass!

Don't call me a brute,

Ichigo Kurosaki

To Jushiro: go to Mr. Kurosaki (Ichigo's dad) he will fix you up in no time.  
>also have you considered making Kiyone your LT and Sentaro your secretary? he<br>does the work, and she isn't yelling all the time! win!

_Maaka oro_

Dear _Maaka oro_,

I'm sorry to say that my Captain isn't feeling so well. And of course I should be Captain Ukitake's lieutenant instead of that nobody Sentaro!

From Captain Ukitake's personal and better assistant,

Kiyone

To Kon: they are called streetwalkers. Ichigo has money. use it.

_Maaka oro_

Dear _Maaka oro,_

Darn! Why are people sending mail to KON? HE's not even a Shinigami!

Stop sending messages to Kon,

Ichigo Kurosaki

To Unohana: your hair is very pretty! ^-^ lol you go girl, putting all those  
>arrogant bastards in their place! *gives cookie* girl power For the win!<p>

_Maaka oro_

Dear _Maaka oro,_

Thank you so much! And I put people in their place? Really?

Not sure what you're saying,

Retsu Unohana

to Kiyone: Marry him already instead of arguing. you two look so cute together  
>^-^<p>

_Maaka oro_

Dear _Maaka oro,_

Who are you talking about?

Confused,

Kiyone

Sui Feng: can you transform into an animal too? I bet youd be  
>something awesome like a Raven or a Panther!<p>

_Maaka oro_

Dear _Maaka oro,_

I simply cannot be the same as my wonderful mistress Yoruichi. That would be bad if I was; no one can match up to my mistress!

My mistress is not to be copied,

Soifon

**Well, that's it for now! I'm saving some for Chapter 6 which will also be updated very shortly perhaps even today! Again thanks to all those who reviewed and keep it going if you want the unique awesome chapter!**

**By abercrombie1218w**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	7. Confusing messages for Ichigo

**By abercrombie1218w PLEASE REVIEW!**

Authors note: Thanks to all those who reviewed this story! It is VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!

Also, when you review, please **SIGN OFF! THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT! **

**Message the Bleach Shinigami**

**Chapter 6: Confusing messages**

hey Rangiku! can i stay in the office today and annoy captain for you? he  
>doesn't know who i am lucky for us(me and Rangiku are cousins) and captain<br>toshiro do you know who i am?

_toshirolovr94_

Dear _toshirolovr94,_

Exactly who is this directed to? Um, Rangiku's cousin? Also, I don't want to be annoyed whether I know you or not.

Stop bothering me,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

PS. Don't call me TOSHIRO! It's Captain Hitsugaya to you!

Ichigo do you high with toshiro and have an

obsession to cocain and pink unicorns?_  
><em> 

_Toshirolovr94_

Dear _toshirolovr94,_

I don't ever get high with Toshiro! Also, I'm not an alcoholic! And why would I like pink unicorns? Ask that to Yuzu!

I'm not a drunk,

Ichigo Kurosaki

momo...*stares at you with disgust*ew so do you still love  
>Aizen?<p>

_toshirolovr94_

Dear _toshirolovr94,_

I rather hope she doesn't like Aizen and stop saying mean things! If you say another bad word about Momo, I swear, I will kill you right there.

Go blind you **beep!**

Toshiro Hitsugaya

PS. She is probably better than what you will ever be!

gin: hi gin you are my hero! you are so brave to stand up to Aizen  
>like that! can i have a hug? and also why do you keep your eyes closed and open<br>them at the weirdest times?

_Toshirolovr94_

Dear _toshirolovr94,_

I'm sorry to say this but Aizen and them aren't included in this story. To be specific, I mean the Arrancars, Aizen, Gin, and Tousen. Also, the Vizards and the humans (not including Ichigo) aren't included in this story. It's all only SHINIGAMI! Sorry that a Bleach character didn't reply to you, but it seemed no one was available so I had to do it myself.

Please don't send things to the wrong people,

The creator herself, **abercrombie1218w**

toshiro: why you so stuffy? shorty mic short  
>short*ruffles your hair* you're so adorable! man Rangiku's right it's so fun<br>messing with you!(i have big boobs like Rangiku. people can easily tell we are  
>related in some way)<p>

_toshirolovr94 _

Dear _toshirolovr94, _

What do you mean that I am so stuffy? And also, I think I already know who you are.

I don't need another Rangiku,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Dear Old Man Yamamoto,

How do you manage to stay so BUFF when you're so freaking OLD?

Thanks,

_Otakulove67_

Dear _Otakulove67,_

Now that is just one of my secrets. In the World of the Living, I got a blow up muscle balloon!

Don't tell anyone my secret,

Yamamoto

Dear Byakuya.

Do people ever make fun of you for having a girly sword release? No offense  
>man, but it looks like a bunch of flower petals. And they're PINK.<p>

Standing in Senbonzakura's hurtless area' just in case you get mad,

_Otakulove67 _

Dear _Otalkulove67_,

No one ever makes fun of me about my swords release. And if they do, you can find their names in the deceased list the next day.

Go check the list now,

Byakuya Kuchiki

1: to Ichigo. Don't you have any other moves besides getshuga tensho? And must  
>you always go bankai for anything stronger than a low level hollow?<p>

P.s. Get stronger you weakling

_xJ11Cx_

Dear _xJ11Cx_,

It's easier that way to get rid of the person instead of wasting my time. And I'm NOT A WEAKLING DAMNIT!

I'm most likely stronger than what you will ever be,

Ichigo Kurosaki

2: to Rukia.

Does your real age affect your self-esteem when around Ichigo. Or your height,  
>your hairstyle, your lack of... Certain "parts", or your temper tantrums, or<br>your weakness... Etc.

Just asking...

_xJ11Cx_

Dear _xJ11Cx,_

I'm not sure why I even answer these messages. If there not nice then they are really offensive or confusing. Most of all, I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ASK ABOUT MY AGE! And how does it affect Ichigo?

Tired of everything,

_xJ11Cx_

to Ichigo.

How your feelings towards rirukia. (not rukia.) is she your friend? More  
>than one? Not at all?<p>

_xJ11Cx_

Dear _xJ11Cx_

Who's that? ( sorry this is my fault, I have like no idea what you're talking about or what your referring to, please add whatever info that is relevant next time! Thanks, abercrombie1218w)

Confused,

Ichigo Kurosaki

to Kenpachi

Oh Ken-chan!...

*runs away as fast as possible. Hides.*

_xJ11Cx_

Dear _xJ11Cx_

Are you looking for a fight? Come out come out wherever you are!

Still looking for you,

Kenpachi Zaraki

to Senna. (yes she was a soul reaper!)

Will you ever come back? You may have just been in a single anime movie. But I  
>miss you.( not like that but I know someone who did... ψ(｀<p>

´)ψ)  
>wait... Are you still alive?<p>

_xJ11Cx_

Dear _xJ11Cx_

As much as I have to say it. Senna is deceased. I'm not sure if she will ever come back but I'll be waiting for her.

Stop messaging Senna too,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Dear Ichigo: with your awesome pimp hand of doom (aka Zangetsu) have you  
>considered just going to hueco mundo for some hollow depopulation?<p>

Love, _Crimson Serpent_

Dear _Crimson Serpent,_

No, I rather just wait here in the World of the Living then go through so much trouble.

You hurt Zangetsu's feelings,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Dear Rukia: Ichigo stole your chappy. I heard he's at ishidas.

Love, _Crimson Serpent  
><em> 

Dear _Crimson Serpent,_

So that's where he ran off to. I was wondering why he seemed so scared of me when I entered his room.

With thanks,

Rukia Kuchiki

Dear Matsumoto: stop molesting the captain before i call child services.

Love, _Crimson Serpent_

Dear _Crimson Serpent,_

I'm not molesting my taicho! I'm simply giving him a nice big hug! _Squeeze!_

Don't think wrongly,

Rangiku Matsumoto

Dear Yamamoto: You really do look good for your age. now here is your  
>question: if soul society is heaven, why does it look more like a purgatory?<p>

Love, _Crimson Serpent_

Dear _Crimson Serpent_

Thank you. I certainly feel like my young self again. The way the soul society looks however is not by my choice.

Sincerely,

Yamamoto

Kurotsuchi: if you are the premier scientist in SS why do you  
>still use that dank lab of yours? you barely have a computer. get with the<br>times man!

Love, _Crimson Serpent_

Dear _Crimson Serpent,_

An unimportant lab rat shouldn't be speaking. I shall have to dissect you.

Getting my utensils ready,

Mayuri Kurotsuchi

Well, that's it for now, I'm still answering letters! So KEEP REVIEWING!

**Thank you to those who SIGNED OFF! Also, please keep your grammar in check!**

Abercrombie1218w


	8. Overload

By abercrombie1218w PLEASE REVIEW!

**Author's note: Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! Sorry if I'm a little slow on updates since I'm also working on my story of Toshiro's Birthday Party! But keep the reviews going and I'll try my hardest to update every two or three days! Also, PLEASE IF YOU REVIEW…. WORK ON YOUR GRAMMAR!**

**Bleach Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH!**

Message the Bleach Shinigami

Chapter 8: Overload

Dear Yachiru,

The captain of squad ten hitsu... Something or other told me clown face  
>(mayori) would give you a bag of cabdy if you kept asking him what time it was<br>over and over and over etc...

With indeference,

_Cam the last Ninja_

Dear _Cam,_

Really? Kenny told me that if clown face ever gave me candy, I shouldn't eat it. He said it's poisoned. Tonight will be the best night ever since it's Halloween. Whitey chan told me that I can earn double the candy by walking up to people's houses and giving them a message to give his candy to ME!

Off to go get a costume,

Yachiru

To Kurosaki Ichigo,

Aren't you tired of getting stabbed?

Sincerely,

_Mel_

Dear _Mel,_

Well, if it means getting stronger than no, I'm not tired of it. But it hurts like hell!

Getting training from Urahara today,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Dear Renji,

How far down do the tattoos go?

Curiously,

_Mel_

Dear _Mel,_

Renji turned red once he saw this message and ran out of the room. If you ask me, I really don't know either; but his tattoos seem to look like sharpie!

Going to ask him myself,

Rukia Kuchiki

Dear Kuchiki Byakuya,

Kurosaki Ichigo had your sister sharing his bedroom with him for an extended  
>period of time when they first met.<p>

You're Welcome,

_Mel_

Dear _Mel,_

Thank you, I am going over to Isshin's clinic right now so he can prepare the hospital bed.

Going now,

Byakuya Kuchiki

Dear Kurosaki Ichigo,

I'm giving you a head start. Byakuya is probably going to want to castrate you.

Have a nice day!

_Mel _

Dear _Mel,_

What! Now exactly how many people do I have to hunt down now and kill?

Looking at my list and running away,

Ichigo Kurosaki

To Hitsugaya-san,

I'm... sorry for asking you such obvious questions... *blinks* as an apology,  
>I'll try and bribe Matsumoto to do paperworks...<p>

Time to bribe without Sake!

Oh! And do you like ice-cream of chocolate more?

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

I guess its okay, except you asked another rather obvious question. I like watermelon ice cream. I don't eat any other flavor except watermelon. Maybe even peach.

Ask Momo your obvious questions please,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

To Urahara,

You don't want to tell me where you got those things huh, Mr. Stripy? Then I'm  
>going to force it outta you.<p>

Off to find some things to torture you!

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Well, good luck!

Hope you find something,

Kisuke Urahara

To Yoruichi,

if you don't want to teach it, its fine, I'm a little disappointed too,  
>actually. Hmm... Are you and Urahara in a relationship? Because I always see<br>you with each other...

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Sorry, you see I tried teaching people, but then Soifon would always scare them away. Me and Urahara, well, why don't you ask him?

Laughing at Urahara right now,

Yoruichi

To Ichigo,

I heard you like- ... *blinks* Ah, I was about to ask a very retarded  
>question... *sweat drop* Anyway, I agree about your opinion on Renji! XD Not<br>that I hate him, he's a little retarded.

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

FINALLY! Someone agrees with me!

Thanks for the message,

Ichigo Kurosaki

To Ukitake,

I hope you're feeling better! Yes, I agree, we need to give candies to the  
>captain prodigeeeeee~<p>

Off to get more candies!

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

I am feeling much better thank you! Since today is Halloween, we can give even MORE!

Jushiro Ukitake

PS. Do you think he likes chocolate?

To Byakuya,

I'd like to hear one, actually, your jokes are quite funny  
>*especiallywhennoonelaughsatit*<p>

Can I please get some Ambassador seaweed cake?

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Captain Kuchiki went off to a meeting. Though next time he is at one, there will be an auto mail to you. The entire 6th squad is getting update.

Hope I didn't disappoint you,

Renji Abarai

To Rukia,

Really! Yay!

~Minicha

P.S Let's create more designs that we can submit to the SWA~

Dear _Minicha,_

Nii sama said yes!

Off to plan some Chappy designs,

Rukia Kuchiki

To Yamamoto,

N-no sir, I mean that... never mind...

~Minicha

P.S It's actually... that you're always OLD. Not young.

P.P.S I know you age rather 'slow'! Just... The others' had changed and YOU  
>haven't at all!<p>

Dear _Minicha,_

No comment,

Yamamoto

To Kyoraku,

Poor you... *hugs* Maybe you should try to do some paperworks~

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

See Nanao? Someone feels some sympathy for me.

Shunsui Kyoraku

PS. Nanao likes doing the paperwork. OW! NEVERMIND SHE DOESN'T!

To Matsumoto.

Matsumoto, please do your paperworks! If you do, I'll give you the most  
>trending fashion from the human world, and the most expensive cosmetics I can<br>afford!

NO SAKE!

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Huh? Wait! I'm awake! Sorry, I was just drinking with Hisagi and Kira! TRENDING FASHION! COSMETICS! WONDERFUL! But I still need the sake!

Can't live without the daily needs,

Rangiku Matsumoto

To Kira,

Hi, Kira-san. Are you still depressed about Ichimaru-san? Please lighten up;  
>you'll look amazingly handsome with a smile on your face~<p>

Trying to lighten people up!

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

I guess I sort of am and sort of not. I'm still wondering why he would leave like that. What was so good about Aizen that he would follow him? Lighten up? Well yea sure, I'm also planning to get a haircut sometime.

Still wondering,

Kira Izuru

To Pinapple-san,

Hello, Abarai... *stares* HI! *giggles*

Just wanna say hi.

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Seriously, stop! I'm NOT a PINEAPPLE!

Stop the giggling,

Renji Abarai

To Hisagi,

I know the reason you got your 69 tattoo, but do you know the meaning of it?

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Um, meaning of it?

Confused,

Shuhei Hisagi

To Soifon,

Kick Omaeda's ass more. He's annoying!

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

I am rather tired today. Would you like to fill in for me? Possibly for the next few years?

Give him hell,

Soifon

**Well that's it for now! Sorry if I haven't go to yours! There are rather a lot of reviews! But keep it going for the unique awesome chapter!**

**By abercrombie1218w PLEASE REVIEW!**

** l l**

**l l**

**V V**


	9. Review PLEASE!

By abercrombie1218w Please REVIEW!

**Author's note: Thank you so much to Minicha, TanGiraffegirly, toshirolovr94, and many others who made up the chapters of my story. **

**Bleach Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH!**

**Please continue to review to get the unique special! **

Dear Ichigo

If you're not going to confess undying love for Rukia, leave her alone. Let  
>RenRuki happen. Personally I would like you to confess undying love though.<p>

A shojo fan reading a shonen

_TanGiraffegirly_

Dear _TanGiraffegirly,_

Wait, what undying love for Rukia? You don't know anything!

Don't get into my personal life,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Dear Byakuya

What is your opinion on IchiRuki? RenRuki? HitsuRuki? And how do you really  
>feel about Ichigo and Renji? And out of all the Shinigami males who would you<br>have marry Rukia?

A shojo fan reading a shonen

_TanGiraffegirly_

Dear _TanGiraffegirly_

I have no feelings for people who have no respect. Renji is only my lieutenant. I wouldn't allow Rukia to be with anyone unless she feels strongly for that person.

I rather not interfere,

Byakuya Kuchiki

Dear Rukia

Who would you rather marry, Ichigo or Renji. You can't say neither, you have  
>to choose one. Or Hitsugaya.<p>

A shojo fan reading a shonen

_TanGiraffegirly_

Dear _TanGiraffegirly_

I-I- I like, no why should I tell you? This is my life not yours!

Not telling you any secrets,

Rukia Kuchiki

PS. I would say none since they are all retards to me.

Dear Matsumoto

What are your favorite possible pairings? And who would you pair your captain  
>with? TELL ME.<p>

A shojo fan reading a shonen

_TanGiraffegirly_

Dear _TanGiraffegirly_

Well, I would pair lovely Rukia with either Renji or Ichigo. She seems to have an interest in both. It's adorable to watch Ichigo and Renji fight over her. Also, Orihime chan and Ichigo look pretty good too! And my taicho? Most likely Momo, he always enjoys everything he does with her. In the summer, he doesn't eat ice cream with anyone or even by himself. He ONLY eats it with MOMO chan! 3

Getting my camera out right now to spy on them,

Rangiku Matsumoto

Dear Renji

PINEAPPLE!

A shojo fan reading a shonen

_TanGiraffegirly_

Dear _TanGiraffegirly_

STOP CALLING ME A PINEAPPLE! I THOUGHT I MADE IT CLEAR TO THE FIRST PERSON!

I'm not a pineapple,

Renji Abarai

Rukia

is ichigo just your replacement for kaien?

_princethekid _

Dear _princethekid,_

How could you say such a thing? Ichigo is nothing like Kaien!

Shocked from what you said,

Rukia Kuchiki

Soifon

what do you think of the idea of Yoruichi and Kisuke going out

_Princethekid_

Dear _princethekid_

OUTRAGEOUS! WHERE IS THAT MORON URAHARA!

Going to find him right now,

Soifon

Kisuke

have fun dying from Soifon

_Princethekid_

Dear _princethekid,_

Actually, I have just created another unknown world to train with Yoruichi. We're here now, and so sadly, Soifon can't even find us!

Always filled with surprises,

Kisuke Urahara

Dear Yamamoto,

What would you do if someone took your zanpakuto, gave it to a certain  
>Lieutenant, who colored on it and stuck candy all over it?<p>

Not hiding in Antarctica,

_v13p_

Dear _v13p,_

My zanpakuto has special abilities to it that allows me to be able to burn the person who took my zanpakuto.

Give it back now,

Yamamoto

Dear Kurotsuchi,

Have you ever made a gender bender potion? If so, what happened?

Would love to see the results,

_v13p_

Dear _v13p_

A gender bender eh? I'll have to update mine now that you have mentioned it. The last one I made didn't do anything except mix the chromosomes together which evolved a rather nasty creature.

Making a new one,

Mayuri Kurotsuchi

PS. You can ask Nemu for the details.

Dear Sasakibe,

How does it make you feel, that nobody really knows who you are?

Pitying you,

_v13p_

Dear _v13p_

(For those of you who don't know Sasakibe, he is the lieutenant of squad 1) I really don't care either way, it lets me be able to have some more free time when nobody notices. I also get to make more of some wonderful tea and western foods.

Off to drink some more tea,

Chojiro Sasakibe

Dear Kira,

Are you really emo, or is it just a rumor?

Loves you either way,

_v13p_

Dear _v13p,_

How am I emo? What you said is most likely a rumor.

Don't spread any more rumors,

Izuru Kira

Dear Hisagi,

...Do you know what "69" really is?

Waiting for you,

_v13p_

Dear _v13p,_

Someone asked me earlier what it was, actually I only have it because it symbolizes the person I look up to.

Not sure what it really means,

Shuhei Hisagi

Dear Rukia,

How does it feel to be a fukutaicho? Is it a lot more work? Seems like it is,  
>since you went from an unseated officer to Lieutenant.<p>

Happy for you,

_v13P_

Dear _v13p,_

Well, it feels great and also sad that I am taking Kaien's place. It is a lot more work since I have to take part in doing the paperwork.

Off to help Captain Ukitake now,

Rukia Kuchiki

Dear Toshiro,

I'm so sorry for what happened to Momo, hope she gets well. Have you ever  
>tried to chain Rangiku to her desk so she has to work?<p>

_Tailsdoll123_

Dear _Tailsdoll123_

Thank you and I actually have. Though it seems Momo didn't know what was going on and got the key from me due to Rangiku's persuasive attitude towards Momo.

Using kido instead,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Dear Hichigo (Ichigo's hollow)

Why did you let Ichigo defeat you?

Just Curious and hoping Ichigo won't kill me for this question,

_5popcorn99_

Dear _5popcorn99_

Um, Ichigo's hollowed self isn't part of this story. You're lucky it's only me and not Ichigo since I sent him to kill a hollow.

Lucky you,

Rukia Kuchiki

Dear Tensa Zangestu (Ichigo's bankai spirit)

How are you such a badass? Could you teach me the ways of being a badass?

Hopeful Badass to be and hoping Ichigo won't kill me for this question too,

_5popcorn99_

Dear _5popcorn99,_

Once again, Ichigo isn't here, and I suggest you not write any messages to Ichigo's hollow or his bankai spirit.

Lucky you again,

Rukia Kuchiki

Dear Yoruichi

You said that you and Urahara had a bet over who got reviews first. What did  
>you get for winning?<p>

Just Curious,

_5popcorn99_

Dear _5popcorn99,_

Well, money of course! Also, I get to have whatever is in his shop for free for an entire WEEK!

Off to get my goodies,

Yoruichi

Dear Nemu

How do you deal with being abused by your captain?

Your concerned fan,

_5popcorn99_

Dear _5popcorn99,_

I have no say in what my captain thinks. If he wants to do that, then I must submit to him.

Thank you for your concern,

Nemu Kurotsuchi

**That's it for now! Still answering letters! Please continue to show your support by reviewing!**

**Thanks!**

**By abercrombie1218w**


	10. Kira, emo?

By abercrombie1218w PLEASE REVIEW!

Author's note: Thanks so much to v13p, Minicha, toshirolovr94, and many others who reviewed!

Bleach Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH!

Message the Bleach Shinigami

Chapter 9: Kira, emo?

Dear Kira,

Are you emo or something? You're never happy, and to be honest it sort of  
>irritates me. Try smiling some time or something. Also, do you have a crush on<br>Momo? If you do, I say go for it; I don't like the pairing of Hitsugaya with  
>Momo, so anything else would be fine (I like Hitsugaya with Karin).<p>

Waiting for the day you smile (if it ever comes),

_Otakulove67_

Dear _Otakulove67_

I'm definitely NOT emo! I'm just, I guess in deep thought about why my captain would leave. I don't have a crush on Momo; she is only my friend. Besides, even **if **I did, Captain Hitsugaya looks like he has an interest on her since he's like always with her. Whenever I talk to her, he is always watching, as if I might attack her.

You can keep waiting,

Izuru Kira

To Ichigo,

Must have been hard for you, people asked you questions that you don't  
>understand, huh? By the way, happy Halloween!<p>

~Minicha

P.S Do you know that there's actually a substitute Shinigami before you became  
>one?<p>

Dear _Minicha,_

Thanks, I have been helping my sisters and my dad decorate my house for Halloween. And yes, I know there was a substitute before me; Ukitake informed me of it.

Thanks and Happy Halloween back,

Ichigo Kurosaki

To Hitsugaya-san,

*blinks* I hope you're still not mad. I bought some watermelons!

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Watermelons? Where? Wait, I'm gonna go get Momo first. I promised that the next time there was watermelon, we would eat it together.

Finding her now,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

To Byakuya,

Many fans said that you are the only one who can kill and 'kick ass' with  
>pink, how do you feel about that?<p>

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

It doesn't matter as long as I win.

Sincerely,

Byakuya Kuchiki

To Urahara,

You have a closet of hats, huh? *smiles evilly* I WILL come and burn that  
>certain closet, taking YOUR hat that you're currently wearing WITH ME!<p>

Is doing the evil laugh.

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

I better move it then. Here Yoruichi! Take some!

Moving,

Kisuke Urahara

PS. I am selling my hats; which I actually make myself!

To Unohana,

Do you ever consider having another hairstyle?

Just wondering...

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

I would like to, but there isn't any time for me to do that. There are so many patients that come in everyday I can't really doing anything about it.

Helping Captain Kenpachi right now to heal his wounds from his fight with Madarame,

Retsu Unohana

To Rukia,

I recently bought a Chappy plushie dressed as a witch :3

Do you know what a 'Halloween' is? You should ask Ichigo, you will love this  
>holiday!<p>

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Can you buy me one too? I asked Ichigo what it was and he sighed then groaned.

Wondering why,

Rukia Kuchiki

To Mayuri,

Take off that silly mask,

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

I will do whatever I please.

Put your nose elsewhere,

Mayuri Kurotsuchi

To Kyoraku,

Mind if I hug you more?

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha_

Why sure! _Hug!_

Give me more hugs,

Shunsui Kyoraku

PS. Do you like sake?

Ukitake,

I like your zanpakuto! They are awesome and so are you.

~Namenda

P.S I'm Minicha's brother, as you see... I'm a male, please don't mistake my  
>name as a female's...<p>

Dear _Namenda,_

Thanks! And I never really knew Minicha had a sibling!

Do you have any more siblings,

Jushiro Ukitake

Dear Nanao,

Hello! How do you get by everyday with such a troubling captain?

Liking the glasses,

_Rukia141_

Dear _Rukia141_

_Adjusts glasses. _Thank you! Though Captain Kyoraku tells me to get something called contacts, I like the glasses better. How I deal with him? Well, by taking his sake and dragging him to the office! Captain Hitsugaya told me how he deals with Rangiku.

Thanking him for his ideas,

Nanao

Dear Rangiku,

How do you get out of work all the time? I try it, but nothing works!

Patiently waiting for your answer,

_Sammy Jo_

Dear _Sammy Jo_

That's why gigai's come in handy! Sometimes, I just leave my gigai to taicho and run off before he notices it really isn't me!

Go get a gigai from Urahara shop,

Rangiku Matsumoto

Dear Byakuya,

Kenpachi wants to tell you something; go find him...and leave Senbonzakura  
>behind, you won't need it.<p>

The pessimist,

Jennifer

Dear _Jennifer,_

I know the way you and Kenpachi are. _Clutches sword and heads off in another direction. _

Not listening,

Byakuya Kuchiki

Dear Byakuya,

Ignore my sister.

With love,

_Rukia141_

Dear _Rukia141,_

I already did.

Thanks but no thanks,

Byakuya Kuchiki

To Kurotsuchi: *puts Shaw-fujikawa trans-light engine in lab* go study lab  
>monkey! also I am not a lab rat dammit! i was dissecting shit when you where<br>still a human. (you make me feel old... blah.)

Love (seriously i do, you really are kinda awesome) Maaka.

Dear _Maaka,_

Oh, well, would you like to dissect something? Nemu is being rather lazy today.

Wondering if you would like to,

Mayuri Kurotsuchi

Oh ya! Watch me toshiro! Momos a bitch! And your stiff if i poke you you're all  
>tight! And too bad im your 3rd seat!<p>

_Toshirolovr94_

Dear _toshirolovr94,_

It seems to me that you won. Taicho is getting comforted by Unohana right now by too much pressure! Poor me! I have to do the paperwork for the rest of the month!

Going to start paperwork now,

Rangiku Matsumoto

PS. You shouldn't have gone that far. Momo chan is really nice if you get to know her.

PSS. You got Hyorinmaru mad.

Dear rangiku, i missed you! It's been a long  
>time since i last saw you!<p>

_Toshirolovr94_

_Dear toshirolovr94,_

Yes, it has been. I have been working so hard on paperwork!

I hope taicho gets better,

Rangiku Matsumoto

PS. We got automated messaging installed to our system yesterday.

dear toshiro, I WILL MOST SERTAINLY NOT GO BLIND  
>YOU LITTLE *BEEEEEPPP* I WONT LEAVE YOU ALONE GO AHEAD KILL ME RIGHT HERE YOU<br>DONT STAND A CHANCE YOU R RIGHT YOU DONT KNOW ME! AND I WISH I DIDNT KNOW YOU!  
>YOU'RE HORRIBLE! YOU HATE EVERYTHING ACCEPT MOMO! SHE IS A BITCH!*kicks your<br>nuts*

Dear _toshirolovr94,_

This is an automated messaging service. Right now, Toshiro Hitsugaya is not here. If you would like to talk to him, please contact Retsu Unohana for more information.

From Automated Messaging Service

Dear ichigo: suuureee ichigo do you love Rukia?

_Toshirolovr94_

Dear _toshirolovr94,_

Why would you ask that? Does it look really obvious?

Wondering if it is,

Ichigo Kurosaki

PS. We got automated messaging service today.

Dear toshiro: too bad ima  
>call you toshiro! And Rangiku showed me baby videos of you in the bath tub and<br>i copyd it and put it up on facebook! : D oh and your weak compared to me*pokes  
>your nose and ruffles your hair*awwww your mad cause your face is all red!<p>

_Toshirolovr94_

Dear _toshirolovr94,_

This is an automated messaging service. Right now, Toshiro Hitsugaya is not here. If you would like to talk to him, please contact Retsu Unohana for more information.

From Automated Messaging Service

Dear momo: can i stab you? Cause i really don't like you. You annoy me!

_Toshirolovr94_

Dear _toshirolovr94,_

This is an automated messaging service. Right now, Momo Hinamori is not here. If you would like to talk to her, please contact Retsu Unohana for more information.

From Automated Messaging Service

Hitsugaya-taichou, I'm sorry for my fangirlism-induced idiocy and  
>I will try to control myself more *Gives fruit basket* and that is to<br>counteract all the candy Jushiro dumps on you, now for question number one,  
>why'd you get so mad when it was a compliment? It really was a compliment,<br>honest. I always feel exhausted and sick when it gets too hot (Which is all  
>the time) so of course I'd seek you out as...well, an AC. And question two is:<br>Can you please not kill me and tell Hyorinmaru I'm sorry for ticking the both  
>of you off? P.S Rangiku has more sake...And...I think she stole somebody's pet<br>ferret to stick in your desk, full of important papers...

_Griffon of the Nights_

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

It's alright. It's just that I'm not the person looking for relationships but a better lieutenant. Thanks, I got the ferret. Hyorinmaru told me that we'll offer one day or two to be an AC if you persuade Matsumoto to do the paperwork while I'm out for the month.

Thanks I guess,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

For Kisuke, I betcha  
>you get more questions than Yoruichi, and this counts. Your question is: Why<br>aren't you taken already? I can't see how that's even possible, you are cute  
>and foxy, plus smart as a whip. Why?<p>

_Griffon of the Nights_

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

Too bad, Yoruichi won. We were betting to see who would get the first message and well, Yoruichi won and she gets to have a free shopping spree at my shop! Wow, she just took an entire box of candy!

I need to restock sometime,

Kisuke Urahara

PS. I heard that some people are giving the Captain of Squad 10 some hard times that he had to go to Unohana! Ichigo told me when he visited the 10ths office, it was an ice domain!

PSS. I'm sexy and I know it.

For Kenpachi, yeah, you deaf in that ear  
>for sure. Not possible for bells to overwhelm that set of lungs. Your question<br>is: Would you like to go fan girl hunting with me? It'll be bloody and awesome,  
>promise.<p>

_Griffon of the Nights_

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

Alright! Yachiru is asking if she can go though. Also, would you like to fight afterwards? I want to see your strength!

Getting ready,

Kenpachi Zaraki

To Ichigo Kurosaki, it wasn't perverted, it was a way to decrease the  
>immense population of fangirls like...Rukia141 for instance. So since you're<br>now off of my "Cool People I look up to" List I get to be a biznatch and ask  
>this: When are you, (I'm sorry for this Grimm-kitty and Batman, my hand was<br>forced.) Grimmjow and Ulquiorra going to screw like the bunnies Rukia depicts  
>you as? P.S I haz dat powah to bringz back da dead peeps, so Ha! No saying<br>they deadz!

_Griffon of the Nights_

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

Oh well, if you didn't know Rukia was watching me as I typed. And sorry, I'm backing out on this one since I heard you invited Zaraki.

HE'S CRAZY,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Kyoraku, *Bow, smack face on desk* you are the Mastah of being  
>lazy and I have a question that I tried to ask Jushiro but he was sick so he<br>said to ask you...: Who killed Starrk? My friend won't quit buggin' me about it  
>I'm losing, sleep! P.S Nanao is coming, fricken run! Big book! With love,<br>chocolate, and crazy dancing kitties, Griffon.

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

Well, it was really both me and Ukitake. But the final blow you mean? Then that was me. Pretty amazing right? Wait Nanao! Stop! I'm only messaging someone!

Why does Nanao carry such big books?

Shunsui Kyoraku

**Well, that's it for now! I'm sorry if I haven't got to anyone's reviews yet! But I'm trying my best to keep up! Also, for those of you who don't know, the Shinigami have all gotten an AUTOMATED MESSAGING SERVICE just in case they don't want to reply or their gone. **

**KEEP REVIEWING! Also, sorry if I made the characters a bit harsh. I'm not Tite Kubo so I'm not perfect at everything! Toshiro Hitsugaya may be out in the next few chapters depending if he wants to answer or not after being offended.**

**Thanks again!**


	11. Poor Hisagi

By abercrombie1218w PLEASE REVIEW!

**Authors note: Please sign off and leave messages in good format. If you look at for example, Rukia141's format on the way she wrote her letters that is exactly how it should look like. Also, if you don't mind, please use GOOD GRAMMAR! It gets confusing sometimes about what you're writing about! Oh, and sorry I haven't been updating! I'm really busy on like Monday- Friday, but weekends… not so much.**

**Bleach Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH!**

**Note to **_**uryufangirl only and others who are still wondering why: **_**Uryu isn't included as well as Chad, Orihime, and Aizen's group. They aren't included because they are not part of the Gotei 13 and I am only letting people write to Shinigami that haven't deceased and are on the "good" side. **

**Note about SPECIAL: A special will be coming up! The special will be 5 chapters only! You may write to ANYONE (like Uryu, Orihime, Chad, Keigo, etc.). You may also write to Aizen, Gin and Tousen. Sorry but Arrancars are NOT included! If you want a letter to get in the special, then make sure in your review you put for SPECIAL ONLY! That way I can tell the difference between a regular review and a special! Thanks! **

Message the Bleach Shinigami

Chapter 10: Poor Hisagi

To Ichigo:

Why do you cry so much? You cry when some gets hurt, when someone is being  
>mean to you, when someone kicks your ass, when you're too weak, when you blame<br>yourself for things that weren't even concerning you. And when you get your  
>power stolen. Always the emotional...<em>xJ11Cx<em>

Dear _xJ11Cx,_

What do you mean I cry a lot? And I'm NOT EMOTIONAL!

You're sounding sort of like Rukia,

Ichigo Kurosaki

To Rukia:

How do you do your "dances" so quickly? I see an enemy come for you in your  
>face but you have time to dance? Never ceases to amaze me... <em>xJ11Cx<em>

Dear _xJ11Cx,_

Well, it takes years and years of practice.

Making another dance,

Rukia Kuchiki

To Ichigo:

(again) How are you feeling towards Riruka? Are you mad at her for being an  
>enemy? Are you friends? Do you like her? Do you think she likes you?<p>

_xJ11Cx_

Dear _xJ11Cx,_

I have no feelings toward her. I guess I am sort of mad at her but then I guess I forgive her. No, I DEFINITELY don't like her and I don't think she likes me.

I don't have feelings for enemies,

Ichigo Kurosaki

To Soifon:

How come you have Naruto style daggers and use hand symbols like them? Did you  
>steal those? Did you make your own? Are you just that awesome? Confused beyond<br>comprehension... _xJ11Cx_

Dear _xJ11Cx_

Yoruichi made them for me. Of course my mistress is definitely beyond comprehension!

She is so PRETTY,

Soifon

Dear Matsumoto,

Are those real?

Thanks,

_Otakulove67_

Dear _Otakulove67_

Why yes! Of course!

They're very useful,

Rangiku Matsumoto

Hello, Soifon! ^^ So... uh, you are one of my main 3 favorite characters of  
>bleach! Wanted to say so! Oh, and sorry to disappoint you, but Yoruichi isn't<br>one of them. BUT IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, I DEFFINATELY DON'T HATE  
>HER! How can I? She's funny! Um, well... I really want to know if you're like<br>the only one in your family left. Like, do you have any cousins, uncles (sp?),  
>aunts, and parents? Really wanna know... Oh, and also what do you think of the<br>YoruSoi pairing? Do you like the idea of being paired with the one you admire?  
>Or are you neutral, like you just don't care? OH! And one more thing for now,<br>do you remember Yoruichi birthday? Have you ever given her something, cuz in  
>one of the omakes it was Urahara (I can't bring myself to say his first name,<br>I got no idea why..: p) and Yoruichi's birthday, and no one seemed to  
>remember. They were both bumbed by it... including Yoruichi... Okay, soooo...<br>That's all I'm gonna say to you FOR NOW!

From, unknowngal

Dear _unknowngal,_

My family? I don't really remember them. Ever since I got to the Soul Society I was mostly alone until I entered the Academy. Paired with Yoruichi, well like maybe? Better than Kisuke of course! And yes, I got something for Yoruichi! Kisuke gave something to her already? WHAT!

Going over there now,

Soifon

Hiya, Rukia! You are AWESOME! And I wanted to tell ya that! Okay, so... I  
>CAN'T DRAW BUNNIES! T_T Can you PLEASE give some tips? I love rabbits, too!<br>Oh, also, did ya know I support HitsuRuki? It's a pairing of Shiro-chan-taicho  
>and you! What are your opinions on this crack pairing? Would you at LEAST<br>consider being friends with him? Oh! And before I forget, have you ever gotten  
>cold fingers when using Sode no Shirayuki? Have you ever wondered if Shirayuki<br>ever got frost bite? Um, also what do you think of the pairing UlquiHime? You  
>know, Ulquiorra and Orihime?<p>

From, _unknowngal_

Dear _unknowngal,_

Tips to drawing? See Ichigo? Someone likes my drawings! Oh yes tips to drawing, well, do you have any Chappy stuff animals? If you do, try copying that or going on what was it again Ichigo? The internet? Yeah, the Internet and searching chappy drawings. Me and Hitsugaya taicho? NO WAY! Well, I don't have an interest in him sorry. I don't even talk to him that much even though his division is like 3 away. Cold fingers from Sode no Shirayuki? Well, I never did, but Renji did! It was actually hilarious! I don't think she ever got frost bite. Ulquiorra and Orihime together? I'm not so sure about that, but I know if Ulquiorra ever does anything or even touches Orihime, Ichigo will be on his way to kick his ass.

Go search for Chappy now,

Rukia Kuchiki

Wassup, Yoruichi? I am just wonderin if ya knew that Soi didn't exactly LOVE  
>the swimsuit you picked out for her... Please don't tell her I told you this;<br>I like the tatoo like mark, but it kinda scares me... Also... do you think you  
>could eat more than Goku from DBZ? What's your opinion on YoruSoi? Do you<br>think it's reasonable that people would pair you up with your former student?  
>Oh, yeah! And do think Soifon is just so plain adorable sometimes? I<br>definitely think so! ^^

From, _unknowngal_

Dear _unknowngal,_

She didn't like it? _Gasp! _Oh well, I could kind of tell by the embarrassed expression she gave me. Me with Soifon? Well, _laugh, _I'm not lesbian! And I KNOW that I can eat more than Goku! Soifon is always just so plain adorable!

Look at her now!

Yoruichi

To: Kisuke

How come you never returned to Soul Society even after they found out that  
>Aizen was the traitor and not you? And don't you find that your shop looks<br>really weird in the middle of all the tall apartments in the human world? I  
>mean, don't anyone ever get suspicious? So much for remaining inconspicuous!<p>

_JustCurious_

Dear _JustCurious,_

I rather not actually. I love my shop, Tessai, Ururu, Jinta and most of all, Yoruichi's visits! The human world is actually quite comfortable! Just look at Isshin! Sure it may not be the same as the Soul Society, but here, I don't have to do paperwork, I can watch Ichigo and his stupidity show and the mod souls having a play!

Come buy something,

Kisuke Urahara

To: Ukitake

If you dislike your third seats so much, how come you never taught to transfer  
>them to another division? And wouldn't it be easier to only have one third<br>seat, then the authority problem would be solved right?

_JustCurious_

Dear _JustCurious,_

Well, I don't exactly dislike them, but sometimes they fight over the stupidest of things. It's as if their kids! One third seat? I think its okay with two.

Thanks for the consideration,

Jushiro Ukitake

To: Renji

How to you feel about being pwned by Ichigo all the time? I mean you guys are  
>almost exactly the same except that Ichigo's better than you in almost<br>everything, plus he doesn't have all the weird tattoos which only you think is  
>cool.<p>

_JustCurious_

Dear _JustCurious_

Sometimes I guess, I feel rather helpless that's why I train. Someday, I'll be better than him and show who's really the stronger one. For now, all I have to do is train and watch his fighting style so that the next we fight to see who is better, I'll be the one sitting up on the top.

I'm the only person who likes my own tattoos? Really?

Renji Abarai

To: Toushiro

Is Hyorinmaru's bankai form such that it makes up for your lack of height? I mean it must be the only occasion where you can see over the heads of people right? And why are you so sensitive about your height anyway? It's getting old.

_JustCurious_

Dear _JustCurious,_

Well, as you said it is getting old. I'm tired of being called short and all when I'm a captain! For example, Ukitake and Yamamoto give me candy when I don't even eat any of that stuff! And Kyoraku? Don't even get me started on him!

I'm not a kid,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

To Captain Hitsugaya:

As you can see I have respect for you.

I know you always do paperwork the way I see it,

You need to destroy all of Rangiku's sake and threaten

Everyone you know would give her sake that you would

Freeze them over if they do.

That way you would have more free time.

_Ziya Hitsugaya _

Dear _Ziya Hitsugaya, _

I have tried that multiple times. Rangiku seems to always get freed by Hisagi or Momo through her persuasive attitude. I would like to have more free time, just thinking about it makes me angry since I can't really have it.

Thanks for the respect,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Kurosaki Ichigo:

You are pathetic and weak. You don't deserve to have the name "He who

Protects". My reason for this is that you did nothing to stop Grand Fisher

From killing your mother; you simply led her to her demise. How can you call

Yourself a protector and a son? Not only that, you allowed the Togabito

(Sinners of Hell) Shuren and Kokuto kidnap Yuzu and take her to Hell, where

She died! You were lucky Inoue Orihime saved her. So how can you call yourself

A brother for that! And you also ignore Orihime's feelings for her, making her

Sad the whole time! She loves you so much that she nearly kissed you! Be very

Aware that you are on my list to kill. I don't care if you can Hollowfy or if

You defeated Aizen, my Kurogetsu will take your life.

MMB35

P.S: Shine kudosai

Dear _MMB35,_

It seems Ichigo ran off to have some alone time. You made him pretty sad that he has went to the Vizards for some help again it seems since I can't find him anywhere. Well, can't blame him really, no one is perfect.

Going to Urahara shop right now,

Rukia Kuchiki

Kisuke Urahara:

You are a former Shinigami Taicho, right? What happened to your Shihakusho and

Haori? And another thing, I liked that Hado you used on Aizen, the Senjyu

Koten Taiho.

_MMB35_

Dear _MMB35_

Yes I am a former Shinigami captain. I gave well passed my haori on to Mayuri who is currently the captain of research and development which I started.

Thanks,

Kisuke Urahara

Kuchiki Rukia:

Simply put, you need to practice drawing. Your drawings suck, something that I

agree with that teme Kurosaki. And what the Hell is with your obsession with

Chappy! It's just a rabbit for crying out loud! And I must say that you don't

deserve the rank of fuku-taicho. That rank belongs to Shiba Kaien, the

Shinigami you killed TWICE! You disgust me. And to be safe:

Bakudo #99: Kin!

_MMB35_

Dear _MMB35,_

I love CHAPPY! And I guess you could say that I really don't deserve it. But what was past is past. I will go along with what my captain wants me to do.

Nii sama would like to speak with you,

Rukia Kuchiki

Dear Byakuya,

Does it bother you that the majority of people think you should be in love with

Rukia or/and Renji?

-Tailsdoll123

Dear _Tailsdoll123,_

Yes, so I would like for those types of messages to stop please.

I don't like thinking of unpleasant things,

Byakuya Kuchiki

Hitsugaya Toshiro:

How the Hell did you become a Taicho! You're just an annoying midget that

complains the whole time. And if you dare throw a comment back at me, I'll

remind Hinamori-chan about you nearly killing her and that she was right about

Aizen. Don't bother with Hyorinmaru, ice won't work on me. Sayonara,

Shiro-chibi-chan.

_MMB35_

Dear _MMB35,_

What does your name stand for anyway? Also, I rather not deal with people like you.

Go insult someone else,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Hisagi Shuuhei:

69 is something to do with sex. Look at the #6 and the #9. Look at them

closely, the circle part of 6 and 9 are the heads, the part that sticks out

are the sexual organs. In other words, 69 is an annal sex position. And

because you got it from Kensei, it means you are gay.

_MMB35_

Dear _MMB35,_

WHAT! Thank goodness I'm getting it removed!

My appointment is at 4pm today,

Hisagi Shuhei

PS. I'M NOT GAY!

Abarai Renji:

You're a pineapple, because the shape of your hair. From now on, your name is

going to be Pineapple Head. Watch Digimon Tamers, and you will see a female

character with the same hairstyle. Pineapple Head.

_MMB35_

Dear _MMB35,_

For. The. Last. Time. I'M NOT A PINEAPPLE!

Go pick on strawberry,

Renji Abarai

PS. I'm NOT A PINEAPPLE!

Zaraki Kenpachi:

Let's fight, I'm more powerful than Kurosaki. I'll show you that you are weak

and weaklings DIE! I'll defeat you without my Bankai and Shikai easily, so you

want to fight?

_MMB35_

Dear _MMB35,_

Sure! FINALLY! SOMEONE TO FIGHT! WHERE ARE YOU?

Taking Yachiru to see the show,

Zaraki Kenpachi

**That's all for now! If I didn't get to yours yet, it will definitely be in the next one! So PLEASE REVIEW FOR SPECIAL COMING UP!**

**By abercrombie1218w**

**Thanks!**


	12. Annoyed Toshiro

By abercrombie1218w

Bleach Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH!

**Authors note: PLEASE REVIEW! IF any of your messages wants to be in the special, make sure you put FOR SPECIAL ONLY! **

**Special Chapter note: There will only be 5 SPECIAL CHAPTERS! So if you want a spot in their start giving your messages in! ALL CHARACTERS ARE INCLUDED EXCEPT ARRANCARS! For example, Senna, Aizen, Gin, Tousen, Vizards, Urahara Shop, and Ichigo's group. So get a spot in it now! Remember, make sure you put, FOR SPECIAL ONLY!**

Message the Bleach Shinigami

Chapter 11: Annoyed Toshiro

To Hitsugaya-san,

Don't make me lose my respect to you. It is not that obvious of a question,

because so far, I've only met ONE person who don't like chocolate. That is why

I asked you..

~Minicha

P.S I'm a 'fanfic writer' or whatever you call it, and have powers over you.

Just like (if you remember) Rukia141

P.P.S You said you hate sweets, but an ice-cream is a type of sweet too...

Dear _Minicha,_

Oh, no, please don't mention _her._

Toshiro Hitsugaya

PS. SHES CRAZY!

To Ukitake,  
>Sadly, no... Hitsugaya-san doesn't like chocolate. We need to buy him<br>watermelon ice-creams!

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Watermelon ice creams? _Fumbles with wallet. Cough!_ Sentaro! Kiyone! Where did you take my money?

I lost my money,

Jushiro Ukitake

To Renji,

Fine... I'm not going to call you pineapple again. I'll call you RED PINEAPPLE  
>TOP!<p>

I'm just joking. :D

Don't worry; I'm not going to call you anything, Renji. I'm going to ask  
>this... (Though a person had asked this already...)<p>

How far does your tattoo go?

Tell me or else die. By the power of fanfic authors.

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Why does everyone want to know this? It basically only goes up to my stomach. And that's it. Do you like my tattoos?

Hoping you do,

Renji Abarai

To Byakuya,

Well, such a pity you were in a meeting. I look forward for your Ambassador  
>Seaweed cake...<p>

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Seaweed cake? We ran out yesterday. Captain Kuchiki had the last one.

Sorry for your loss of cake,

Renji Abarai

To Rukia,

Do you really think Hitsugaya is a retard?

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Well, no, after all he is the child prodigy. But to say that I like him? Is just RIDICULOUS!

I'm not into Captain Hitsugaya,

Rukia Kuchiki

To Urahara,

I found one. :D.

I'm going to torture you with perfume.

Which... smells like *makes a face* Sulfur...

Off to capture you!

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

_Laugh!_ Well, I left that one just for you!

I'm such a nice person,

Kisuke Urahara

PS. I'm not the bad guy!

To Yoruichi,

Soi Fon tried to kill whoever you tried to teach? ... My my...

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Yes, my adorable Soifon is a bit, well, overprotective?

Wondering if I used the right word,

Yoruichi

To Soi Fon,

My pleasure to replace you and give Omaeda hell.

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Um, you're not exactly gonna replace me but sure, give Omaeda hell.

Thanks,

Soifon

To Ichigo,

Hey, I heard that the last chocolate you ate was poisoned by Mayuri... and it  
>will change your gender...<p>

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

WHAT! _Throws up! _I'm gonna go get some surgery to get it out!

Running off to my dad's clinic,

Ichigo Kurosaki

To Unohana,

How long is your head, exactly?

Curious cat,

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

How long is my head? Do you mean my hair?

Rather confused,

Retsu Unohana

To Hisagi,

69 means... Well, technically, it's a ... mating position...

Embarrassed,

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Thanks, someone else sort of told me the more "detailed" version. But I got it removed!

Please don't comment about it anymore,

Shuhei Hisagi

Kisuke, Wow, that sounds like the perfect place to  
>sleep! Sexy and you know it? Dude, do you want my pillows to put even MORE<br>restraining orders on me; I have enough as it is. Your question is: What are  
>you for Halloween? I'm guessing Yoruichi is most likely going as a Neko or<br>another kind of Furry *Shudders in disgust*

_Griffon of the Nights_

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

PILLOWS! Yes please! What was I for Halloween? Well, guess!

It's something wonderful,

Kisuke Urahara

For Captain Hitsugaya, I'm not  
>good with paperwork, unless you want it to completely disappear in flames. I'm<br>more of a "Give me something I can chase" kinda person, for some reason small  
>furry things do that to me, no idea why. Your question is: How much watermelon<br>can you eat in a sitting? I have a bet with my friend that you CAN eat more  
>than one melon. *Glaring at friend*<p>

_Griffon of the Nights_

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

Well, if you want to be exact. If the watermelon is really sweet, then I can eat up to approximately 3 watermelons and a half. Momo and I had a record to see who can eat the most watermelons!

She lost by 2,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

To Kenpachi, Yachiru can definitely come  
>with us; she can even help us out if she wants! There's certainly enough to go<br>around after all. And a fight? Sorry, I kinda don't have a sword or a legit  
>weapon, except for a hammer and a meat knife I have in my closet, I'll have to<br>get one sometime...There! I put it on my "To get list" Your question is: Ever  
>made the mistake of letting Yachiru have coffee? I hope not, that'd be<br>terrible for at least three senses, sight, hearing, and smell.

_Griffon of the Nights_

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

No fight? Now that's just lame. Yachiru doesn't really like coffee, but she likes the coffee candy. You should see her eat them!

Counting now,

Kenpachi Zaraki

To Ichigo,  
>still kinda resentful you declined my offer, but Kenpachi's coming as a<br>replacement and yes, he is indeed completely insane, and that's exactly why I  
>invited him! We have at least one thing in common, y'know, besides the fact we<br>both like fighting ourselves to exhaustion. Your question is: Why don't you  
>indulge Kenpachi more? I get that he's a little obsessed but if I had to do<br>paperwork *Wretch* all day without anything else to do I'd surely love to  
>eviscerate you from navel to chin and play jump rope with your<br>intestines...Getting carried away.

_Griffon of the Nights_

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

You BOTH ARE INSANE!

Running away from you people,

Ichigo Kurosaki

PS. I'm not going anywhere with that guy!

To Nanao, Kyoraku is slacking off on the  
>roof again, he has a cheap hooker (At least she smells like one) and at LEAST<br>four bottles of sake with him. Get him good for me and use a bible to hit him  
>with this time, it'll leave a nice mark on him. Your question is: Exactly how<br>often do you have to stand in for Kyoraku?

_Griffon of the Nights_

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

Please be specific. Exactly which roof? I don't have time going on every single roof in the Seireitei.

Still looking,

Nanao Ise

To Kyoraku, I hate you for killing  
>Starrk, Nanao is coming, and you are NOT the Master of lazy, I am, now get a<br>life and wake it up, help Nanao out more too. Your question is: How fast can  
>you run? 'Cause I just told to Nanao on you and your cheap hooker.<p>

_Griffon of the Nights_

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

How could you? I feel betrayal!

Going somewhere else to relax,

Shunsui Kyoraku

Dear Hitsugaya-taicho,

don't listen to the meanies/haters! DX they're just jealous because of your  
>awesomeness! ...If you need help beating a little sense into them, I'm just a<br>call away...

Hates bullies,

v13p

Dear _v13p,_

Thanks, you can start now with this list. Rangiku should be sending it to you.

I felt weight be lifted off my shoulders,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Dear Ikkaku,

...Why don't you just admit your bald? It'd make things much simpler...

A curious fan,

v13p

Dear _v13p,_

I'M NOT BALD! MY HEAD IS SHAVED!

I hate it when people say I'm bald,

Ikkaku Madarame

Dear Isane,

Why are you so scared of Fish Cakes?

Just wondering,

v13p

Dear _v13p,_

This is an automated message service. Right now, Isane is not here. If you would like to contact her, please see Captain Unohana of the 4th squad for more details.

From automated messaging service

Dear Tetsuzaemon,

I love your name. It's just so fun to say! ...That is all.

Just wanted to inform you,

v13p

Dear _v13p,_

Thank you! Would you like some sake?

Thanks,

Iba Tetsuzaemon

Dear Nemu,

What were the results on the gender bender potion?

Curiously waiting,

v13p

Dear _v13p,_

This is an automated messaging service. Right now, Nemu Kurotsuchi is currently unavailable. If you would like to contact her, please ASK Captain Kurotsuchi for more details.

From automated messaging service

Dear Kira,

If you don't smile soon I'm going to find you and make you smile. Also, I  
>might remind you that you actually did raise your sword to Momo once...<p>

Still waiting...

_Otakulove67_

Dear _Otakulove67,_

_Smile. _Was that good?

Hoping it worked,

Kira Izuru

To ichigo

if i could find a way to bring senna back would you ask her out

ps are you a female

reven lord of darkness

Dear _reven lord of darkness,_

No I am DEFINITELY NOT FEMALE! And why would I ask Senna out?

I'm not a girl,

Ichigo Kurosaki

To Rukia

plzz set ichigos sister the black heard one on a date with little Shiro

thanks

ps go out with renge as a joke

_Reven lord of darkness_

Dear _Reven lord of darkness,_

I'm not sure if I can do that. Karin says she doesn't like that um well "midget." And Renji? NO WAY will I do that!

Nii sama sort of hates Renji since he skipped out on paperwork today,

Rukia Kuchiki

dear momo

you are so cute you must go to the beach with me

ps how do i find out little shiros weakness

_reven lord of darkness_

Dear _reven lord of darkness,_

Well, I don't really know actually. But try watermelon.

Thanks for the compliment,

Momo Hinamori

PS. You seem like a very nice person.

Mayuri: how would you like to disect something that was making nightmares  
>since before Yamamoto was 15-reincarnated cycles younger? (points to Flood in<br>jar)

Maaka oro

Dear _maaka oro,_

Hmm, rather interesting. Nemu, bring it to lab H for me.

Going over in a sec,

Mayuri Kurotsuchi

Rukia  
>Are you sure that Ichigo isn't your replacement cause there both hot headed,<br>have the same hair style, and another girl likes them for Kaien he has his  
>wife and for Ichigo, Orihime likes him.<p>

Princethekid

Dear _princethekid,_

Yes I'm actually very sure about that. And does Orihime really like him?

I'm not sure,

Rukia Kuchiki

Everyone

Can someone please find Urahara and give that information to Soifon?

Princethekid

Dear _princethekid,_

Sure, he's wait- where did hat and clogs go?

Looking right now,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Soifon

If ... oh waits sorry. WHEN you kill Urahara can you give me his hat?

Princethekid

Dear _princethekid,_

I'm not sure if his hat will be remaining in one piece when I find him.

Soifon

**That's it for now! Please remember the SPECIAL! For more details scroll up!**

**By abercrombie1218w PLEASE REVIEW!**


	13. GET READY FOR THE SPECIAL!

By abercrombie1218w PLEASE REVIEW!

Author's note: Thanks so much to Minicha, Rukia141, princethekid, Griffon of the Nights, and many many others who reviewed this story.

**IMPORTANT! MUST READ! : The SPECIAL HAS ARRIVED! THOSE WHO WANT A SPOT IN THE SPECIAL WHICH WILL BE IN CHAPTER 15 through 20 must send the message NOW! I am collecting all special messages! Make sure if you want your letter to be in the special you put, "FOR SPECIAL ONLY!" Thanks!**

**Special chapter characters include: Ichigo's family (Isshin, Karin, Yuzu) and group (Uryu, Chad, Orihime), Ichigo's school classmates, all the Shinigami, Urahara Shop, Aizen, Gin, Tousen, Senna, and now I am also adding Kon. Since many of you have requested it. SO START SENDING! **

Message the Bleach Shinigami

Chapter 12: GET READY FOR THE SPECIAL!

To Hitsugaya-san,

Ne, I'm sorry, my previous messages are bothering and annoying you. I sent the  
>watermelons to the tenth squad barracks.<p>

*furrows eyebrows in worry* I hope you're okay. Please calm down.

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Thanks and its okay. Freedom of speech is a right (from what I heard from Matsumoto).

Going to eat the watermelons now,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

To Momo,

Hi! *smiles* I hope you're not offended by those 'Momo haters'... I sent some  
>watermelons for you and Hitsugaya-san to eat!<p>

Enjoy it; I guess it's like a replacement for candies for Halloween. Please  
>tell Tobiume too, she's an awesome zanpakuto and not some 'worthless shit'.<p>

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Oh, I'm not offended at all. I know I can be a bit well cheesy and mean. Thanks so much for the watermelons! Would you like to eat them with me and Shiro chan?

Tobiume says hi,

Momo Hinamori

To Ukitake,

*shrugs* Minicha's da oldest, we're three siblings. I'm the second oldest.

I really hope that sickness of yours can be cured!

~Namenda

Dear _Namenda,_

Wow, that's nice. Having all those siblings with you must be fun! Hmm, reminds me of having Yama ji and Kyoraku playing together well actually practicing with wooden swords.

I loved the old days,

Jushiro Ukitake

To Rukia,

Ichigo won't explain it... to you?

Well, maybe you should ask someone else... *sweat drop*

Oh! I sent the Chappy-doll dressed as a witch to the Kuchiki manor yesterday,

it's a Halloween special.

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

I LOVE IT! IT'S ADORABLE! I begged Ichigo with a slap yesterday so then he told me Halloween was some holiday where you dress up and if you're a kid, you go to people's houses and get candy!

Thanks for Chappy,

Rukia Kuchiki

To Nanao,

don't change into a contact lens from glasses!

Just don't!

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Sorry to say, but my sweet Nanao went off to the meeting for the Shinigami Women's Association. My sweet Nanao with contact lens? _Gasp! _She MUST BE JOKING!

I can't let that happen,

Shunsui Kyoraku

To Byakuya,

Byakuya-bo... Byakuya-bo...: D

~Olimayun

P.S I'm the youngest of the three siblings! *giggles* and I'm a girl~~~

Dear _Olimayun,_

…

No comment,

Byakuya Kuchiki

To Byakuya,

Ignore my annoying sister.

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

…

Byakuya Kuchiki

To Urahara,

I don't care whether you sell them or not. I'm going to burn down all those  
>hats, anyway.<p>

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

_Gasp! _Well, I was going to give you one…

Taking my hats far away from the match in the corner,

Kisuke Urahara

To Ichigo,

What did you dress up as? I bet you had fun, I didn't though... Worst  
>Halloween ever.<p>

~Minicha

PS I can't go treat-or-treating! D:

Dear _Minicha,_

I dressed up as myself. Apparently, people already think I'm in a costume due to my orange hair, which is NATURAL! Seriously, people just don't get it!

Only my little sisters go trick or treating,

Ichigo Kurosaki

PS. My idiotic father did too.

Urahara,

I'm just sending this because I like you more than Yoruichi. I really have  
>nothing to say XD<p>

you must win this battle!

Otakulove67

Dear _Otakulove67,_

You see that Yoru- _slap!_

Don't mind her,

Kisuke Urahara

Dear Ichigo:

What would happen if Shiro-chan started dating your sister?

Uryufangirl

Dear _uryufangirl,_

Well, I beat the daylights out of him!

I already got my fists ready,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Dear Byaku-chan:

Why are you always so stoic? My friend finds it sexy, but why? It's kinda  
>creepy to me e.e jus sayin broseff.<p>

Uryufangirl

Dear _uryufangirl,_

That is just how I am.

Byakuya Kuchiki

Dear Hitsugaya,

D: Ah, please cheer up! I'm sure sending you more watermelon to eat with Momo  
>won't be enough. . . So how about candied beans: D? Sorry I'm not the best of<br>help v.v. Anyway, enjoy the candied beans .3.'

With love, OpX3.

Dear _OpX3,_

Watermelon is nice. Momo is asking if you would like to join our what was it Momo? Oh, um, watermelon party.

Bring a lot of watermelons,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Dear Renji,

Pineapple: D! How are ya? Hmmm, ya know I wonder if there really are any red  
>pineapples. The world may never know...<p>

Still wondering, OpX3.

Dear _OpX3,_

I'M NOT A FREAKING PINEAPPLE! SERIOUSLY!

I'm NOT a pineapple,

Renji Abarai

PS. I'M NOT ANSWERING ANY LETTERS SAYING I'M A PINEAPPLE!

Dear Rukia,

Hey there: D! May I say you are awesome? You certainly are my favorite x3! May  
>I ask where your admiration for chappy come from did? Not saying there should<br>be a reason, but I'm curious.

Waiting for a response, OpX3.

Dear _OpX3,_

My admiration for Chappy was born with me! I love cute things!

Thanks for the compliment,

Rukia Kuchiki

Dear Urahara,

I feel a plot coming along! I say you team up with Isshin and scheme against  
>Ichigo: D! Maybe tease his prude-ness. It is fun seeing Ichigo getting as red<br>as an Ichiberry XD!

Awaiting the scheming, OpX3.

Dear OpX3,

Hmm, I should. Thanks for the idea. Though Ichiberry would run off to the Vizards and ditch us like he always does.

In thought on what to do,

Kisuke Urahara

PS. Any ideas?

To captain Hitsugaya: aw i feel bad for you...can i become your luietenant? im  
>better than Rangiku you have to admit it...i found some paperwork in the<br>bathroom! You know how gross and wrong that is?

_Toshirolovr94_

Dear _toshirolovr94,_

If you can do your part of the paperwork and not complain about it, you're in.

Asking the head captain,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Dear Rukia:

I'm gonna just say it... I don't care if you find it uncomfortable or  
>inappropriate. I don't care how wrong it seems or how much you dislike it. I'm<br>gonna ask the question on everybody's mind...

How tall are you?

xJ11Cx

Dear xJ11Cx

This is an automated messaging service. Right now, Rukia Kuchiki is currently unavailable. If you would like to contact her, please see Captain Ukitake, Captain Kuchiki, or Ichigo Kurosaki for more details.

From automated messaging service.

Dear Weakling (Ichigo):

How does an idiot like you gets handed everything on a silver platter. Your  
>power, your abilities, your bankai, your everything. And all you do is bitch<br>and cry for more. Or that you want it back. And when you do get it or trying  
>to you complain the entire time. Jeez man...<p>

P.s. Stay in school.

xJ11Cx

Dear xJ11Cx

I do NOT cry about stupid things! Also, everything isn't handed to me on some stupid platter, it's because I WORK HARD FOR IT!

I'm not a baby,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Dear Soi-fon:

On a level of 1- Yoruichi. How awesome are you?

xJ11Cx

Dear xJ11Cx

I'm NOTHING compare to Yoruichi sama! I guess if I give myself a little credit then maybe 8? Yoruichi sama is definitely more than 1 trillion!

Soifon

Dear everyone except ichigo:

I'm throwing a party. Wanna come?

Sincerely xJ11Cx

Dear xJ11Cx

This is Rangiku speaking. If you don't know, the letters that is for everyone goes randomly to any Shinigami. So I guess I was lucky enough to get this message! AND OF COURSE I WILL COME! Make sure you keep the sake jars filled!

Sending out the invitations,

Rangiku Matsumoto

Ichigo: *puts his mom in front of him* look at what i found :D she was  
>wandering around some village place called "dog" something other next to<br>that white city/fortress thing.

Love, Maaka  
>Dear <em>Maaka,<em>

What! What's she doing there?

Tell Kukaku to take care of her in the Soul Society,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Byakuya: *gives a tazer* here ya go! for the annoying people in your life.  
>remember to charge it after every 3 uses.<p>

Love, Maaka

Dear _Maaka,_

I have no use for this thing. Renji says my stares are enough, also they don't need batteries.

You can have it back,

Byakuya Kuchiki

Renji: I shall remove your fan-girl problem, if you bring me unohana's bra: P  
>(i plan to make a fun slingshot from it: D)<p>

Love, Maaka

Dear _Maaka,_

NO WAY IN HELL WOULD I EVER DO THAT!

You're crazy,

Renji Abarai

Toshiro: platform shoes. I'm just saying! also just because you are a captain  
>does not make you an adult. Look at ichigo for example, he could be a captain<br>if he wanted and hes only 15/16

Love, Maaka

Dear _Maaka,_

Well, I'm a captain, and people should be at least respectful!

I'm seriously tired of this,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Matsumoto! im calling child services on you! Dx leave the poor boy alone, go  
>play with Hisagi or whatever!<p>

Love, Maaka

Dear _Maaka,_

Awww! Now that's no fun!

Don't be a party pooper,

Rangiku Matsumoto

Yachiru! hi cuteness~! I heard that Orihime can "reject" that tbere is no  
>candy, and MAKE candy! :D<p>

Love, Maaka

Dear _Maaka,_

I WANT CANDY!

Give me candy,

Yachiru

Mayuri: I want to take you apart and put you back together with parts that  
>make sense to everyone. for instance, nano-regeneration. that would be useful<br>for someone like you who gets his ass kicked in the few fights he gets in.

Love, Maaka

Dear _Maaka,_

This is an automated voice messaging service. Right now, Mayuri Kurotsuchi is currently unavailable. If you would like to contact him, please make an appointment with the 12th squad.

From automated messaging service

Nemu: pool party! : D *gives floaties*

Love, Maaka

Dear _Maaka,_

This is an automated voice messaging service. Right now, Nemu Kurotsuchi is currently unavailable. If you would like to contact her, please ASK Captain Kurotsuchi or make an appointment with the 12th Squad.

From automated messaging service

Love, Maaka

Hisagi: don't mind the dumb people. your 69 does not mean anal sex, it's when  
>both partners perform oral at the same time. does not mean you're gay. in fact<br>you could be rather popular with the ladies if you tried that. practice on  
>momo, she needs cheering up.<p>

Dear _Maaka,_

Um, okay?

Rather confused,

Shuhei Hisagi

Hinamori: would you mind helping Hisagi with his new skills?

Love, Maaka

Dear _Maaka,_

New skills? What skills?

Confused,

Momo Hinamori

Kira: do you like chess?

Love, Maaka

Dear _Maaka,_

Sure, it's really cool.

Wanna play?

Izuru Kira

Yamamoto: what would you do if I was the soul king? (randomness)

Love, Maaka

Dear _maaka,_

Depends.

Yamamoto

**Well, that's it for now! Whew! That was a lot!**

**PLEASE REVIEW FOR SPECIAL!**

**Abercrombie1218w**


	14. Beautiful Yumichika

By abercrombie1218w PLEASE REVIEW!

Authors note: Thanks so much to Minicha, maaka oro, MMB35, Griffon of the Nights, Rukia141, and many others who reviewed this story! Special thanks to bleach409 with helping get some ideas for the special!

Bleach Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH!

**SPECIAL CHAPTER! MUST READ: THE SPECIAL IS HERE! IF YOU WOULD LIKE YOUR MESSAGE TO BE IN THE SPECIAL….PLEASE PUT "FOR SPECIAL ONLY" IN YOUR REVIEW!**

**Special chapter characters include: **ALL SHINIGAMI, AIZEN, GIN, TOUSEN, SENNA, THE SHIBA CLAN (BUT NOT KAIEN SINCE HE DIED), ICHIGO'S FAMILY, URAHARA SHOP, ICHIGO'S CLASSMATES, ICHIGO'S GROUP (URYU, CHAD, ORIHIME), VIZARDS, AND MOD SOULS ( KON, NOBA, RERINE, KURODO). **SORRY BUT ARRANCARS ARE NOT INCLUDED!**

**Message the Bleach Shinigami**

**Chapter 13: "Beautiful" Yumichika **

Hitsugaya Toshiro:

If you must know, it is MakeMeBad35; answer your question, Shiro-chibi-san?

MMB35

Dear _MMB35,_

What was it again?

Going off to one of those boring meetings,

Toshiro Hitsugaya  
>Kuchiki Rukia:<p>

Does it look like I care if Kurosaki is sad. And you can go to your  
>"Nii-sama", I ain't scared of him. I know his weakness. And your drawings<br>still suck.

_MMB35_

Dear _MMB35,_

This is an automated messaging service. Right now, Rukia Kuchiki is currently unavailable due to a mission. If you would like to contact her, please see Captain Kuchiki, Captain Ukitake, or Ichigo Kurosaki for more information.

From automated messaging service

Zaraki Kenpachi:  
>I am in the world of the living, in a country called South Africa. Just don't<br>get lost, or you can't fight me. If I don't see you, it means that you are  
>scared of me.<p>

_MMB35_

Dear _MMB35,_

Aw! Dammit! Yamamoto just called a meeting! I'll find you later! Yachiru! This meeting involves you too!

Going to the meeting now,

Kenpachi Zaraki

Kurotsuchi Mayuri:  
>What's wrong? You scared of me experimenting on you? There are so many ways to<br>disect you while you are still conscious; it makes feel pleased of the pain you  
>would be in.<p>

_MMB35_

Dear _MMB35,_

Oh? Then may I do you first? NEMU! GET THE NEW MACHINE WE GOT TODAY! IT'S IN LAB 48263! We have a rat that scampered in on us!

Getting a nice space cleaned out for you,

Mayuri Kurotsuchi  
>Abarai Renji:<p>

You are a Pineapple head, deal with it. If you don't want to be called a  
>Pineapple, don't make your head look like one. You are still a Pineapple head.<p>

_MMB35_

_Dear _MMB35,

This is an automated messaging service. Right now, Renji Abarai will not be answering any letters with the word "pineapple" or "pineapple head" in it. If you would still like to contact him, please don't use those words or anything else related.

From automated messaging service

Kurosaki Ichigo:

What's the matter, can't take the truth? You real are a pathetic strawberry.  
>I will let you on a secret, I am the reason why you failed; I ordered Grand<br>Fisher to kill your mother, I sent the Togabito to take your pathetic sister  
>to Hell. I am the reason you lost your Shinigami powers so that you couldn't<br>protect your friends and family. Inoue doesn't deserve you anymore, when I can  
>simply trick her into hating you. What will you do now, Kurosaki Ichigo?<p>

MMB35

Dear _MMB35,_

This is an automated messaging service. Right now, Ichigo Kurosaki is currently unavailable due to a mission from the Soul Society. He will also not answer any messages with the words, "strawberry" or "pathetic." He will also not answer letters if they are threatening or against him.

His message for anyone who has these words is: "GO TO HELL!"

From automated messaging service

Madarame Ikkaku:

Don't deny it, you are bold.

MMB35

Dear _MMB35,_

This is an automated messaging service. Right now, Ikkaku Madarame is currently unavailable and is in a training session with Captain Kenpachi Zaraki. He will also not answer any letters about him being "bald."

His message for anyone who has these words is: "MY HEAD IS SHAVED! GET THAT INTO YOUR BRAIN DAMN IT!"

From automated messaging service

Ayesegawa Yumichika:

You are ugly, that Charlette Arrancar is more buetiful then you are.

MMB35

Dear _MMB35,_

UGH! EW! You must be **uglier,** for you can't even spell the word "beautiful" right!

I am **always **beautiful,

Yumichika A.

Kyoraku Shunsui:

Ah, a taicho I respect. Would you mind drinking sake with me, I might know a  
>way to make your Nanao-chan to stop hurting you.<p>

MMB35

Dear _MMB35,_

You would? Oh yes, I would love to have a drinking buddy right now, Matsumoto fukutaicho is being dealt with right now by her captain. _In background: BONK! Ow! I'm sorry my sweet NANAO!_

I'll meet you at the bar,

Shunsui Kyoraku

Ukitake Jushiro:

Ukitake-taicho, I respect you more than all the Gotei 13. I know a way how to  
>treat your illness, and I want to help you. There is no catch, I just respect<br>you.

MMB35

Dear _MMB35,_

_Cough! _Cure? CURE? I would like that. Though, I would respect Yama jii more if I were you.

Give me the cure please,

Jushiro Ukitake

Yamamoto Genryusai Shigekuni:

How do you tolerate Kyoraku-taicho calling you "Yama-jii"? Isn't that  
>disrespectful, even though you are old enough to be my great-great<br>grandfather?

MMB35

Dear _MMB35,_

Well, I still see Kyoraku as my young student as well as Ukitake. So disrespectfulness is allowed for them since I see them as my little possible grandkids.

Off to start the Captain's meeting,

Yamamoto

Hinamori Momo:

Ore wa daiski, Hinamori-chan! And Shiro-chan is being mean to me! Can you  
>please ask him to be nicer to me?<p>

MMB35

Dear _MMB35,_

_Gasp! Hits Toshiro who is beside her lightly. _How could he do something like that! Don't worry I'll make sure he is nicer to you.

Not giving him the watermelon I have in my fridge,

Momo Hinamori

Matsumoto Rangiku:

You want to drink sake with me and Kyoraku-taicho? And I can do your  
>paperwork for you.<p>

MMB35

Dear _MMB35,_

OH SURE! I WOULD LOVE-

I'm sorry this is Captain Hitsugaya; Matsumoto won't be attending until she does all the paperwork BY HERSELF. But thank you for volunteering, maybe next time.

She will be joining a little late I believe,

Toshiro Hitsugaya and Rangiku Matsumoto

Dear Captain Hitsugaya

I am sorry Rangiku as is like that and lazy.

If I was a Shinigami and in your squad,

I'd ask you if you needed any help with the paperwork.

Maybe you should she demote her for a month and have a sub for her.

But Still have her nearby so she won't think your giving her a vacation. She  
>gives herself enough of those on her own.<p>

I will send Rangiku a message too. Hope you don't mind, but it isn't going to  
>pretty. Please let know if anything changes with her.<p>

I hope I help you in some way.

_Ziya Hitsugaya_

Dear _Ziya Hitsugaya,_

Yeah, maybe I'll try that. But it's a good tool to use to make her start working. Like when I say, "Matsumoto, I think I'll go find another lieutenant to replace you. One that will actually do their paperwork." She just jumps up and goes to the desk in SECONDS!

Thanks and I hope there will be changes,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Dear Rangiku,

Why can't you do your own paperwork?

You should help your captain more.

Stop being so selfish. I like you and your a cool

person, but I can't stand people who takes advantage of others.

_Ziya Hitsugaya_

Dear _Ziya Hitsugaya,_

This is an automated messaging service from Toshiro Hitsugaya. Right now, Rangiku Matsumoto is busy doing paperwork to see if she is still worthy of her position. If you would like to contact her, please ask me Captain Hitsugaya if she is done with her paperwork, then she might just be available.

From Captain Hitsugaya's automated messaging service

Dear Kira,

That sucked. Seriously, it looked more like a grimace than an actual smile.  
>You need to take smiling lessons or something.<p>

You looked like the Joker,

Otakulove67

Dear _Otakulove67,_

Oh, and who's the Joker?

Don't know what you're saying,

Kira Izuru

Dear Yumichika,

Do you have any beauty tips?

Hopefully awaiting,

v13p

Dear v13p,

More than you can ever imagine.

I'm so beautiful,

Yumichika

Dear Yachiru,

How did you end up Chairwoman of the SWA?

Curious,

v13p

Dear v13p,

It's simple. Kenny came with me after one of his fights.

GIVE ME CANDY,

Yachiru

Dear Ikkaku,

Sure you aren't...

Knows your bald,

v13p

Dear v13p,

This is an automated messaging service. Ikkaku Madarame is currently unavailable and is training with Captain Kenpachi Zaraki. If you would like to contact him, please **don't intervene with his fight with Captain Zaraki or you may also be crushed.**

From automated messaging service

Dear Tetsuzaemon,

Sure! I'll even bring more bottles. But I'm kind of a light weight...

Off to buy sake,

v13p

Dear v13p,

I'll see you at the eleventh's squad barracks, Ikkaku wants to join us.

See you in a minute,

Iba T.

Dear Renji,

Are you hoping to become a Captain after you master your Bankai? ...Or do you  
>want to stay as Byakuya's Lieutenant so you can continue trying to surpass<br>him?

Wondering,

v13p

Dear _v13p,_

I don't know actually. It depends on what my captain thinks.

I'm still mastering my bankai,

Renji Abarai

Dear Jidanbo,

Did you ever get new axes?

Will totally buy you some,

v13p

Dear _v13p,_

This is an automated messaging service. Right now, Jidanbo is and will be unavailable because he will be guarding the entrances when you message. He will have no time to go on the computer and his hands are also too big to type.

From automated messaging service

Dear Hitsugaya,

Whoa... That's a long list...

Starting now,

v13p

Dear v13p,

This is an automated messaging service. Right now, Toshiro Hitsugaya is currently unavailable due to the amounts of paperwork. He will not be answering letters anytime soon. If you would like to contact him, please ask and see Yamamoto to lessen his paperwork.

From automated messaging service.

**Well that's it for now! The next chapter will BE SUPER LONG! Since the special will be right after it! So instead of reviewing for the main (which you still can), REVIEW FOR THE SPECIAL!**

**By abecrombie1218w PLEASE REVIEW!**


	15. The remain before the special

By abercrombie1218w PLEASE REVIEW!

**Authors note: THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE WHO REVIEWED! Please know that the NEXT 5 CHAPTERS WILL BE THE SPECIAL! AND THOSE WHO REVIEW FOR THE REGULAR PART WILL HAVE TO WAIT UNTlL CHAPTER 21 TO GET THERE MESSAGES ANSWERED!**

**SPECIAL CHAPTER NOTE: I AM ACCEPTING ALL LETTERS NOW! SO HURRY UP AND GET A SPOT! CHAPTER LENGTHS ARE LIMITED!**

**Bleach Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH!**

Message the Bleach Shinigami

Chapter 14: The remain before the special

To Ichi-berry, I know I'm crazy, but what's that make you? A fruit cake? Your  
>question is: Why are you so scared of me? I'm 5"00 tall and a fourteen year<br>old GIRL for cookie's sakes. I gotta admit I can be vicious but...You're just  
>a scared idiot.<p>

Griffon of the Nights

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

YOU'RE A GIRL! I thought you were some guy! That name does make you vicious in some ways; reminds me of Tatsuki. And I'm not afraid of you! I'm 5"11! And I'm 17!

I'm also not an idiot,

Ichigo Kurosaki

To Ikkaku, awesome haircut. You are one of the few who can  
>pull it off, like that wig incident. (Laughs) Anywho, your question: Why do<br>you wear eye shadow? I mean... You make it work but it still looks strange...

Griffon of the Nights

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

Eye shadow? WHAT? It's more like some medicine! Besides its better than all those colorful make up and blush and feathers that Yumichika uses. I also saw him wearing something Matsumoto called _foundation._

Please don't remind me about the wig situation,

Ikkaku Madarame

Nanao, he moved to the roof next to the old bar down the road and he is  
>currently heaving his guts into a potted plant. Your question today is: Are<br>those new glasses? They look amazing and really brighten up your face, kudos  
>to you for finding them!<p>

Griffin of the Nights

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

_Pushes up glasses. _Yes they are in fact. My old ones were rather fading up my vision. CAPTAIN KYORAKU! GET OUT OF THEIR!

I'm handing in the week's new paperwork,

Nanao Ise

To Kyoraku, if you quit running and take the beating  
>I'll hate you a little less. Your question: Did you really have to kill him?<br>Seriously injured would have also sufficed.

Griffin of the Nights

Dear _Griffon of the Nights,_

Well, I guess so. But that's also the good part of it. It means my sweet Nanao cares about me wants to find me no matter what! I feel so LOVED! And yes I really did have to kill him. Its either we kill them, or they kill us.

Nanao is heading my way now,

Shunsui Kyoraku

To Shuuhei, aw... You got it  
>removed? That's a shame, now I don't have an excuse to giggle when I see you.<br>I thought you were cute but I used the Tattoo to cover up my Fan girl Cackle.  
>Your question: Can you please get the inappropriate tattoo back? I really<br>don't want to look like an idiot.

Griffin of the Nights

Dear _Griffin of the Nights,_

Well, I didn't really exactly get it removed. More of a cover up really, I just don't want anyone seeing it. I would walk around the Seireitei and people would look up pointing and saying, "Hey, isn't that the 9th squad's gay lieutenant?" After they said that, I couldn't come out of the house for weeks! It was rather horrifying.

Don't tell anyone,

Hisagi Shuhei

Dear Byakuya

I deeply apologize for Rukia141. Don't worry about her anymore, though, she's  
>been taken care of.<p>

You're welcome,

Sammy Jo

Dear _Sammy Jo,_

_Sighs in relief. _Thanks Sammy Jo, my captain didn't feel like typing so I'm doing it. He said he felt as if a million pounds were lifted off his shoulders.

Thank goodness,

Renji Abarai

Dear Ichiberry-kun,

Toshiro just slapped Grimmjow in the face, what do you do?

Hugs and kisses, kairii kurosaki

Dear _kairii kurosaki_

What do I do? Let him be of course! Like I care about the idiot getting hurt.

I'm wondering if you're one of my relatives because of your surname,

Ichigo Kurosaki

PS. I'M NOT A BERRY!

Dear Rangiku:

The party's is soon. And I have about 900 gallons of sake. So bring every one.  
>This includes Gin. He is your invite in. Actually no one is allowed in without<br>a date... And you must attend the party. I'll take care of your captain if  
>thats your concern... ψ (｀<p>

´) ψ

xJ11Cx

Dear xJ11Cx

Oh, if that's the case. _Grins evilly._ I'll make sure it goes perfectly.

Getting all the people I can right now,

Rangiku Matsumoto

Dear Nanao:

Um... Why aren't you married to Shunsui yet? Hmm? That pairing needs to  
>happen! Just admit your love for him already; we all know you do like him!<p>

Animekisses

Dear _Animekisses,_

_Pushes up glasses._ _Blushes in a deep shade of red. _W-w-wait, who said that I-I-I ever liked Captain Kyoraku?

Don't say anything else please,

Nanao Ise

Dear Shunsui:

Your welcome: 3

Animekisses

Dear _Animekisses,_

This is an automated messaging service. Right now, Captain Shunsui Kyoraku is out drinking sake somewhere in the Soul Society. His whereabouts are currently unknown. Please contact his lieutenant Nanao Ise for further information.

From automated messaging service

Dear Jushiro:

I love you Jushiro! *faints* sorry fan girl moment. Just wanted to shout my  
>love for you out, and I hope you start feeling better ;)<p>

Love Animekisses

Dear _Animekisses,_

_Cough! _Thank you! Though I'm still waiting for this cure to be shipped in that someone told me about, hopefully, it will be here soon.

Thanks for the consideration and love,

Jushiro Ukitake

Dear Momo:

You are cute, sweet, innocent and my favorite female character~! You are the  
>absolute best and never listen to those mean haters! I love you and totally<br>think you deserve more screen time.

P.S. You should call Shiro-chan Hitsugaya-taicho one day, just to throw him  
>off; 3<p>

Animekisses

Dear _Animekisses,_

Thanks and I guess I don't get so much "screen time" because I have been recovering for awhile! And, well, um, what do you mean by "throwing Shiro chan off?"

I don't get it,

Momo Hinamori

Dear Hitsugaya-taicho:

You're not short. You're vertically challenged.

Vertically challenged too, Animekisses

Dear _Animekisses,_

This is an automated messaging service. Captain Hitsugaya is currently out and doing paperwork, he will like to inform messengers to tell Rangiku Matsumoto to do her paperwork so he can answer messages.

Another message from Captain Hitsugaya: Please tell Captain Yamamoto to please stop dumping all the paperwork in what he calls, "Paperwork Tenth."

From automated messaging service

Kira,

The joker is a fictional character in a movie series that has scars on the  
>sides of his mouth that make him look like he's smiling. That is what you<br>looked like when attempting to smile. If you ever happen to get access to a  
>computer on a mission to the Real World, look him up- if you don't understand<br>what that means, then ask Kurosaki Ichigo or something.

Otakulove67

Dear Otakulove67,

I see it now. _Gasps in shock, quickly grabs a mirror and looks at self. _Wait this, this, this, couldn't be me! I'm not _**that hideous **_am I?

I'm scared to look at my own image now,

Izuru Kira

dearest momo,

do you get a kickback from shooting the fireballs, have you ever gotten burnt?  
>have you ever wondered why you haven't grown much since you were a kid? It's<br>not a bad thing; unfortunately for me I ONLY grew up and have minimal 'assets'  
>like yourself... I feel your pain sista. forever hoping they will<br>grow mysterios.

p.s. i feel like kicking puberty in the ass for giving me all pain and no  
>'gain'. :(<p>

mysterios

Dear _mysterios,_

I haven't really thought about my growth so much. Um, I think I may have gotten burned once when I was first trying out Tobiume, but it wasn't really that bad.

Um, okay (about your last comment),

Momo Hinamori

Momo or Captain Hitsugaya,

How would you react if Orihime tried giving you baked watermelon? : 3 (ps,  
>that's probably one of the most NORMAL dishes she cooks!)<p>

Sasha

Dear _Sasha,_

Baked watermelon? Ooooo! I would like to try some of Orihime chan's cooking! Rangiku chan told me it was delicious! Eh? Shiro chan said its poisonous. I wonder why.

I love trying new things,

Momo Hinamori

Momo Hinamori - you really are sweet and very cute as well! I have a poster  
>of you in my room! Have you ever thought of modeling?<p>

Kiwi-kiwi-kii

Dear Kiwi-kiwi-kii

Modeling? Me? I don't know but how did you get a poster of me in your room? Am I really famous?

Tell me more,

Momo Hinamori

Izuru Kira - if I was a Shinigami, I'd totally join your division! And I think  
>you're fine just the way you are, smiling or not. For my question, do you<br>really have to explain your swords abilities to your opponent every time you  
>get in a fight? I think you'd have a bigger advantage if the enemy was unsure<br>of your exact abilities.

Kiwi-kiwi-kii

Dear Kiwi-kiwi-kii,

Well, it sort of tenses up my opponent. Besides, even if I don't want to, it sort of slips out. Also, Wabiske likes to well, uh, brag sometimes. And you're always welcome to join.

Thanks for the advice,

Izuru Kira

To Unohana,

I mean, yes, hair, not head...

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

This is Isane fukutaicho right now. Unohana is busy healing others around the fourth and couldn't get to her messages. So I'm sort of in charge of them right now.

Sorry for the inconvenience,

Isane

To Hitsugaya-san,

RUKIA141 IS BEHIND YOU!

PS I was just kidding...

PPS: D Peace out.  
>~Minicha<p>

Dear _Minicha,_

What? WHERE! _Looks around frantically._

Stop playing around,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

To Byakuya,

D: No cake for me?

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Would you rather have a cookie? (Shows a funny looking shaped creature chocolate cookie that is smiling)

I hope that's okay with you,

Byakuya Kuchiki

To Rukia,

CHAPPY FRECKIN' RULES THE WORLD!

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

_Holds up Chappy plush toy and throws it in the air while dancing around Ichigo's room. Ichigo looks at her weirdly._

I love chappy,

Rukia Kuchiki

To Ichigo,

You are supposed to change gender by now... or did you get the chocolate out  
>already?<p>

~Minicha

Dear Minicha,

Huh? What do you mean? Change gender?

Don't know what you're talking about,

Ichigo Kurosaki

To Renji,

It goes only to your stomach... Really? Cool story bro.

~Minicha

PS Then why did you blushed and ran before? *shiftyeyes*

Dear Minicha

What's with all those shirts that girls in the Living World wear? Like, "Cool story bro. Tell it again." I mean seriously, what do they mean by all that stuff?

The saying is rather retarded,

Renji Abarai

To Urahara,

...I hate you so much right now. Mister Hat n' Clogs. Oh, wait. GRAMPS.

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

So MEAN!

Going to cry in my little corner,

Kisuke Urahara

To Yoruichi,

Soi Fon is well... ... Overreacting?

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Overreacting? Why? Hmm, she usually does that actually.

Go ask her,

Yoruichi

To Soi Fon,

I'm not 'replacing' you as your job for a captain XD

I mean,

I will replace you

to kick Omaeda's

over-sized butt.

If you want.

:D

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Well, if you put it that way, then have fun.

Going off to see Yoruichi now,

Soifon

To Mayuri,

I found something interesting yesterday... I saw this green blob walking  
>around, it smells like rotten eggs and fart, it also wears glasses.<p>

Would you mind taking this thing?

I captured it just a few minutes ago.

I can send it to you.

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Yes, yes, that must be very interesting. Tell Nemu to place it in lab D in the vault 897630. I would like to have a look at this peculiar specimen.

Send it now,

Mayuri Kurotsuchi

Mayuri Kurotsuchi:

Ha! You, disect me? Such arrogance. I am immune to most poison, so your  
>Konjiki Ashisogi Jizou will be useless. But you won't be able to cut my skin,<br>not when my Zanpakuto can help it. You will be disected, and when you are,  
>you'd wish that you did not take over Urahara Kisuke's place!<br>MMB35

Dear _MMB35,_

Well, _grins evilly, _we'll see about that now. Will we, Nemu? _Nemu nods obediently in response._

I'll just have to get the vial in Section V,

Mayuri Kurotsuchi

Zaraki Kenpachi:

Ha! Excuses, you must be scared of me if you are hiding behind the Soutaicho's  
>back.<p>

MMB35

Dear _MMB35,_

WELL, I'M BACK! That meeting took long enough! COME OUT! WHERE ARE YOU? I WANT TO FIGHT!

Come out already, did you run to your Mommy?

Kenpachi Zaraki

Ukitake Jushiro:

If I am correct, you have a severe case of TB or otherwise known as  
>Tubercolosis (spelling?). If I am correct, I'm sure the Shinigami Daiko,<br>Kurosaki Ichigo's father can help.

MMB35

Dear MMB35

Yes, I think it's something like that. I'll go see Isshin then.

Going now while Sentaro and Kiyone are fighting,

Jushiro Ukitake

Kyoraku Shunsui:

The advice is, don't force yourself into Ise-san's life. You can remain kind,  
>but don't get too carried away.<p>

MMB35

Dear MMB35,

AWWW! But then that's no fun!

I guess your right in a sense,

Shunsui Kyoraku

PS. I'm gonna take Nanao to that sake party Rangiku told me about.

Kurosaki Ichigo:

Hahahahahahahaha, rwahahahahahahaha! Go to Hell? I've already been there.  
>Besides, I wasn't threatening you, I just revealed the truth to you. And like<br>I said, Inoue-san has romantic feelings for you. Kurosaki, I will ask you to  
>try and return Inoue-san's feelings. If there is one thing I hate in this<br>world, are those who break a girl's heart. But what will you do now that you  
>know what happened to your mother and sister.<p>

MMB35

Dear MMB35,

Wait, a lot of people have told me Orihime has feelings for me, but I would like to confirm. Are they true? Or are they just a lie? Or is it something you folks do for fun by pairing us up?

I want answers,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Hinamori Momo:

Thank you, Hinamori-chan. I... Is it OK i... if I can join you eating wa...  
>watermelons? Because I... I reallylikeyoualot!<p>

MMB35

Dear _MMB35,_

_Smiles warmly. _Of course you can! Come on!

We can have a watermelon contest,

Momo Hinamori

Hitsugaya Toshiro:

What? You asked me what MMB35 meant and I told you. Then you forgot what you  
>asked me! *turns to Kurotsuchi Mayuri* Oi, Kurotsuchi! Go and, "help" Toshiro,<br>he has something wrong with his brain and needs "special help". *turns back to  
>Toshiro, slowly approaching with an evil smile* Don't worry, Shiro-chibi-san,<br>Kurotsuchi and I are going to "help you". And don't bother running, Kurotsuchi  
>Nemu is right behind you<p>

MMB35

Dear _MMB35,_

This is an automated messaging service. Captain Hitsugaya is currently out and doing paperwork, he will like to inform messengers to tell Rangiku Matsumoto to do her paperwork so he can answer messages.

Another message from Captain Hitsugaya: Please tell Captain Yamamoto to please stop dumping all the paperwork in what he calls, "Paperwork Tenth."

From automated messaging service

Rukia,

I think you're one of the coolest people in Bleach (wayyy better than Ichigo!  
>Haha!) What else do you like other than Chappysnow/beating up Ichigo?

Wanna know you better,

Shinigamiftw!

Dear _Shinigamiftw,_

Of course I'm cooler than that idiot Ichigo! Thank you very much! Well, I love playing around with Renji and messing up his hair, he would chase me for hours to get his hair piece back! I also love spending time with Captain Ukitake and eating snacks with him in the office.

Thanks again,

Rukia Kuchiki

Yoruichi,

The cat thing is really cool btw! How do you keep Urahara in check when he  
>goes crazy over an experiment or try to con his poor customers?<p>

All the way,

Shinigamiftw!

Dear _Shinigamiftw,_

All I do is give him a whack in the head and cheat on his lottery system! My funds have been raised due to him!

I also get a shopping spree at his shop,

Yoruichi

Byakuya,

you were really awesome in the latest chapter! How do you really feel about  
>Ichigo? Because you're onscreen hatred of him is not really convincing :) I bet<br>you're only jealous because he can act all hot-headed and be excused while you  
>can't right?<p>

Bet you wish you were him,

Shinigamiftw!

Dear _Shinigamiftw,_

I have no jealousy for a disrespectful boy like him. I would rather not interfere with such people; Renji sort of already reminds me of him, but the maybe more respectful scared version.

I don't want to be him,

Byakuya Kuchiki

Dear captain Hitsugaya, can i please replace matsumoto!

_Toshirolovr94_

_Dear toshirolovr94,_

We'll have to see about that. For now, you can be the third seat that does some of Matsumoto's paperwork.

Off to hand in the paperwork now,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Dear Yama-jii, can i  
>PLEASE replace Rangiku?<p>

Toshirolovr94

Dear _toshirolovr94,_

I have already told young Hitsugaya. Didn't he not tell you that I said you're not really well, uh, qualified? You need to have more experience and missions.

I'm sorry,

Yamamoto

PS. Perhaps if you can prove your worth.

**Well, that's it for now! I WON'T BE ANSWERING ANY REGULAR LETTERS UNTIL THE SPECIALS ARE OVER! SO REVIEW FOR SPECIAL PLEASE! IT WILL BE 5 CHAPTERS! REGULAR LETTERS MAY BE ADDED IN DUE TO LACK OF LENGTH!**

**By abercrombie1218w PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	16. SPECIAL PART 1

By abercrombie1218w

Bleach Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH!

**Authors note: Thanks for all who have reviewed! Also, remember, there are limited spots for the special! **

Message the Bleach Shinigami

Special Part One

Keigo,

You're an idiot. Does it ever bother you that Ichigo pretty much beats you up

every day, or are you used to it at this point? Have you ever had an actual

relationship, or have you only ever stalked girls until they've called the

cops? If you could end up with one girl, who would it be? Lastly, as one of

Ichigo's better friends, do you think that Ichigo and Rukia will end up as a

couple?

You're still an idiot,

_Otakulove67_

Dear _Otakulove67,_

Well, I guess I am used to the mean things Ichigo does to me. Sadly, I have not had a relationship with any girl yet. I would LOVE to be with ORIHIME CHAN! Ichigo and Rukia together? Definitely not possible, since I will most likely win her heart!

I'm a winner,

Keigo

Dear Aizen,

You're a jerk, you know that? What could you possibly gain by becoming God?

It just doesn't make sense...

-Tailsdoll123

Dear _Tailsdoll123,_

My ambitions are none of your business. I will do as please to see them succeed.

Aizen

Dear Karin,

Hey there: D! I seriously think you are awesome, one of my favorite  
>characters. I bet you're off beating people at soccer. Anyway train hard and<br>sure enough you will make it to the nationals *.*! Maybe go ask Shiro-Chan to  
>train with you x3!<p>

Off to look for baby Shiro right now, OpX3.

Dear _OpX3,_

Thanks, my friends and I are definitely kicking butt! Oh Toshiro? He's too **busy. **Well, at least that's what he says…. Like I even care, we only need him to support us.

Good luck on finding the kid,

Karin Kurosaki

Dear Renji,

Pineapple! I have a question: 3. Do you find it horrifying, traumatizing, sick  
>or all of the above that you are even paired with your dear captain Byakuya.<p>

Hoping Byakuya doesn't read this and unleashes Senbonzakura upon these  
>writers, OpX3.<p>

Dear OpX3,

DEFINITELY ALL OF THE ABOVE! You're lucky Captain Kuchiki wasn't here beside me doing his paperwork but off at another of those boring meetings.

I'm NOT a PINEAPPLE,

Renji Abarai

PS. How many times do I have to tell you people that I'm NOT a pineapple!

Dear Orihime:

I hate you. Dont you touch Ishida, I will go Chuck Norris on you. Why can't  
>you ever use your powers when you need to? Tsubaki can slice hollows in half,<br>yet he's never used. Good lord.

Uryufangirl

Dear _uryufangirl, _

I do try to help out Ichigo; it's just that they always think I'm not capable of anything! Are you saying I like Ishida kun? Oh my!

That could not happen,

Orihime Inoue

Aizen Sosuke:

Everything is going according to plan, Aizen-sama. I'm making the Gotei 13 a  
>warzone, causing fighting in between them. And the Shinigami Daiko, Kurosaki<br>Ichigo, is losing his will to fight. I'm really glad that you chose me to do  
>this mission, Aizen-sama.<p>

_MMB35_

Dear _MMB35,_

Thank you, I will succeed. _Does evil laughter really hard, Gin just stares at him._

Aizen Sosuke

Ichimaru Gin:

Gin, how do you feel when people are cosplaying as you, when they fail to do  
>it right and disrespect you? No one can act as good as you. And you are right,<br>Kurosaki is quite kowai.

_MMB35_

_Dear MMB35,_

Cosplaying as ME? I feel so special! And of course no one can do it as good as me! I'm the ORINGINAL!

Kurosaki? Is he cosplayed? I'm sure I'm very special.

Gin Ichimaru

Inoue Orihime:

I don't to be the bearer of this, Inoue-san, but Kurosaki won't return your  
>feelings. He says the reason is "Inoue isn't the type of girl I consider to be<br>in a relationship. I don't mean this in a bad way, but she is a bit  
>air-headed. But, the main reason is that I don't want to die due to that stuff<br>she calls food. I mean look, some of that stuff Inoue calls food likes  
>something is trying to get out!" I wouldn't mind having your food, just no<br>bean paste please.

MMB35

Dear _MMB35,_

_Runs away crying._

Would you like some food?

Orihime Inoue

Arisawa Tatsuki:

If Kurosaki hurts Inoue-san, what would you do? Because he just made Inoue-san  
>cry by insulting her.<p>

_MMB35_

_Dear MMB35,_

_Makes a fist. _What else would I do? Beat the hell out of him. That bastard.

Off to find that little brat,

Tatsuki A.

Tousen Kaneme:

You are correct, Tousen-taicho. Zaraki is a demon who wants to fight. I also  
>try to follow your path of justice, but I don't know if I'm doing it right.<br>I'm killing all the criminals in the world in the least bloody way. Can you  
>please give me advice?<p>

_MMB35_

_Dear MMB35,_

You are definitely on the way of getting into the path of justice. Try meditating yourself and keeping yourself in balance. You can also get more advice from my former lieutenant as I have heard.

I'm having Gin typing this since I'm blind and can't see the keyboard,

Tousen

Asano Keigo:

Kurosaki just made Inoue-san cry, and he says that perverts are annoying bugs.  
>You do know that he was talking about you, right?<p>

_MMB35_

_Dear MMB35,_

Ichigo made Inoue cry? I don't believe it! Yet he is sitting at his desk right now like a normal student! And I'm NOT A BUG!

I'm pretty sure that I'm also NOT a pervert,

Keigo Asano

Kurosaki Yuzu:

You do realize that you were in Hell, right? And that you died and become a  
>Togabito? And that he did nothing but turns into a demon and nearly turned the<br>whole world into Hell because he destroyed the Gate of Hell from his anger?  
>The only reason you live is because Inoue-san saved you. And can you make<br>curry and rice for me? Please?

_MMB35_

_Dear MMB35,_

_Shakes her head in confusion. _I was in Hell? Huh? I'm not sure, I think I was, but I don't really remember anything. Sure I'll make curry and rice!

It's Dad's favorite I think,

Yuzu Kurosaki

Ishida Uryu:

How did it feel to be impaled by Kurosaki's Bankai? And can you teach me to be  
>a Quincy? I want to help you bring the legacy of the Quincy back.<p>

_MMB35_

Dear _MMB35,_

The power of the Quincy can only be possessed if your ancestors were also Quincy. I can teach you the ways of a Quincy, but you won't have the powers I have. Also, I have no feelings about Kurosaki's bankai. Everyone has their own powers.

Uryu Ishida

Kurosaki Ichigo:

Urahara never told you about your father, now did he?

_MMB35_

Dear _MMB35,_

Yeah he never did. But I know he has his reasons. Besides, I didn't think that my dad knew I became a Shinigami either at first that is.

Ichigo Kurosaki

_No, I AM your father._

What! (_Ichigo is running around in his room; his father comes and gives the surprise attack on him)_

Dear Aizen:

Please die a slow painful death. I hate you do much for what you did to Momo  
>and Gin. Die. Die. Die. Then die some more.<p>

P.S make it slow and painful

Hate _Animekisses_

Dear _Animekisses,_

Ah, but you little one don't know what you're asking don't you?

I think you message will be vice versa,

Aizen Sosuke

Dear Gin:

You and Rangiku. That's where it's at. Also, teach me how to smile, please?

_Animekisses_

Dear _Animekisses,_

Teach you how to smile? Well, just- what was that word? Oh yes, COSPLAY me!

I know you love my smile,

Gin Ichimaru

Dear Yuzu and Karin:

You guys don't have a lot of screen time but are super awesome! I see who got  
>the cool genes in the Kurosaki family.<p>

_Animekisses_

Dear _Animekisses,_

Thanks so much!

Yuzu Kurosaki

Yeah, yeah, whatever Yuzu said.

Karin Kurosaki

Dear Kon:

For a perverted stuffed toy, you were possibly my favorite character in the  
>first couple episodes. Plus you're adorable.<p>

P.S I hope one day you can hug Rukia: D

_Animekisses_  
>Dear <em>Animekisses,<em>

_Gasps! Smiles! Points at computer screen! _Ichigo! You see that! MY FIRST MESSAGE!

I shall be able to hug nee chan someday, and she will love me so much. As well as Orihime!

Kon

Kurosaki Yuzu:

Oh, if you don't know who I was talking about, it was your onii-chan who  
>turned into a demon. And if I recall correctly, your onii-chan actually turned<br>into a demon more than a few times and nearly killed his friends. 

_MMB35_

_Dear MMB35,_

Ichigo turned into a demon? HUH?

Confused,

Yuzu Kurosaki

Kurosaki Karin:

What is your relationship with Shiro-chibi-chan (Hitsugaya Toshiro?)

_MMB35_

Dear _MMB35,_

There is NO relationship! We are ONLY acquaintances.

Don't think too wrongly,

Karin Kurosaki

Ishida Uryu,

if you ever find yourself trapped in Ireland and need a place to stay, you can  
>come to my house. I will greet you with open arms. Needless to say I only have<br>one bed, so we'd have to share, but...

You're soooo hoT,

_Otakulove67_

Dear _Otakulove67,_

Um, okay.

Hopefully that won't happen,

Uryu Ishida

Dear Aizen,

i hope you know momo has gotten over you and moved on. I know I'm better than  
>you at reading people and I can tell momo has got a thing for toshiro. Soooo,<br>don't get to arrogant because I can fight better than you, read people better  
>than you, and am much hotter looking than you. Right now I'm thinking you're to<br>low to even date my sister, plus that curl on your forehead makes you look  
>like a molester, a harassment suit waiting to happen. especially when you look<br>right into the camera, makes me feel like you're going to come and attack me or  
>something, and not in the fighting way(shivers).so, please respond to this. I<br>need to know why.

Creeped out, _mysterios_

Dear _mysterios,_

Ah, that little ignorant child that was my lieutenant you say? What makes you think I like her? I'm just here planning and waiting for the right time to strike back. So that way, I can make her wounds deeper than the ones I gave her last time, and maybe perhaps if I'm lucky, kill her.

I know I'm creepy,

Aizen Sosuke

Dear Senna:

How are you? Are you alright? Do you even remember anything from "before"? And  
>how's your new life as a normal person. Do you remember any orange haired<br>weaklings named after strawberries that you may or may have not liked?

Extremely curious... _xJ11Cx_

Dear _xJ11Cx,_

I'm PERFECTLY FINE thank you! Oh and yes I remember stuff from before. Are you talking about Ichigo? I think I'm going to call him Strawberry head! Or maybe Mr. Orangey! They both have something to do with him! I'm sure Ichigo will be pleased.

My new life is great,

Senna

Dear Tatsuki:

How come you never tried getting powers? If Orihime could you should try to.  
>Rukia can't kick ichigos ass 247. If I could I would grant you powers with my  
>fanfic writing powers... But i have no idea how to do it. So... Good luck.<p>

_xJ11Cx  
><em> 

Dear_ xJ11Cx,_

Powers? Um okay? I think it depends more on well; actually I'm not really sure. But yeah, I would like to have powers. Kicking Ichigo's ass will be MUCH easier.

Thanks for the luck I guess,

Tatsuki A.

Dear ichigo:

I still don't like you. You weakling. You couldn't help senna, your mother,  
>your sisters, your friends, Urahara had to clean up after you because you<br>couldn't kill Aizen, and you let nozimui die. You let tosen and gin die. Tatsuki  
>almost died. Rukia even had to come save your ass because you cried since you<br>were so weak. I hope Jennifer (rukia141's sister) let's me at you. I would  
>make you suffer sooo much. Maybe Kenpachi would like to help, or Mayuri,<br>Yoruichi, Rukia, the espada, your hollow, Etc...

_xJ11Cx_

Dear _xJ11Cx,_

Oh no. Don't mention that girl! She is as crazy as hell! (For those of you who don't know read: Interview: Bleach Pairings!)

Don't need someone like you to tell me I'm weak,

Ichigo Kurosaki

Dear Senna (again):

Now that your back. Do you have your powers back? Do you understand that  
>certain orange haired people are not what they thought there were? Weaklings.<br>And how about those interviews. Rukia kinda screwed you over huh? You should  
>help me get him back. ψ (｀<p>

´) ψ so just say the word... Hehehe.

_xJ11Cx_

Dear _xJ11Cx,_

Yes, I have my powers back thank goodness! Do you mean Ichigo? Yeah, he can be a weakling at times especially when he ALWAYS thinks that he is the stronger one and we're all weak! But that isn't true; he just always makes it seem that we just SO desperately need him! Interviews? I sort of had a feeling that Ichigo always liked Rukia in a sense, and it was actually pretty frustrating.

Ichigo can be so annoying,

Senna

Isheen i know you were a Shinigami captain help me hook up little Shiro with  
>Karin<p>

_Reven lord of darkness_

Dear _Reven lord of darkness,_

_Sniff! Sniff! _My little daughter Karin is growing up to be a fine woman!

I'll definitely help you,

Isshin Kurosaki

To Aizen have you ever tried to use the hogyoqu to make a fem Ichi as a daughter?

Ps nice hair

_Reven lord of darkness_

Dear _Reven lord of darkness,_

Hmm, that seems to be a good idea. I'm going to get it started on it now.

Getting the espada to get in a meeting,

Aizen S.

PS. I'm making them my special tea.

PPS. I know you love my hair.

To senna

ask ichigo out

ps nice zanpakuto

pps why did you die

_Reven lord of darkness_

Dear _reven lord of darkness,_

ME and ICHIGO? I don't know. He seems to have feelings for Rukia more than me. I died well, uh, more of passed on because my life sort of ended already. You can probably get the details from Ichigo. Though he probably won't tell you.

Thanks,

Senna

To Uryu,

How the heck did you get those sewing skill!

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Well, actually, my parents were hoping to get a girl. But instead, it was a guy; which so happened to be me. My grandmother, grandmas, aunts, and my mother all got these sewing kits hoping I could be a girl and them out with all the clothes and do crochet. Grandpa also had a sewing kit; apparently, quote from him, "Sewing can calm your patience, which also helps you to control your Quincy powers." Or something like that.

It took a lot of work,

Uryu Ishida

To Aizen,

I shall name you from now on 'The Mullet Guy'

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

'Mullet Guy?' I don't think so.

Don't think of anymore ridiculous names,

Aizen S.

To Gin,

I. Freckin'. Love. Your. EYES!

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

I know you do. Ran chan says it's sort of creepy.

I know your gonna say that you love my smile too,

Gin Ichimaru

To Tosen,

Are you really blind...? Because it seems you can see, you monitored Hueco  
>Mundo...<p>

Curious,

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

This is Gin typing for him once again. Tousen says yes he is blind, but can track down spiritual pressure and things. Sort of giving him an "image."

Funny you would ask,

Gin Ichimaru and Kaneme Tousen

To Hiyori,

Kick Shinji more! XD

~Minicha

PS It's not that I hate him, I just find it amusing.

Dear _Minicha,_

You see that Shinji? _Points to monitor. Starts being Shinji up and smacking him with her shoe. _Yes it is amusing.

We have many recordings,

Hiyori

To Jinta,

Stop being mean to Ururu! DX Meanie!

~Minicha

Dear _Minicha,_

Gosh! You're acting like you're my mother or something!

I'll do whatever I want,

Jinta

Dear Aizen,

Amazing job on stabbing everyone in the back. Not really a question, but I  
>seriously couldn't care less.<p>

Kudos to you,

Jennifer

Dear _Jennifer,_

Ah, it's Rukia141 sister from the interviews! I see that you have really messed things up over there! Hmm, would you like to help me on my new plan?

I will always do an amazing job,

Aizen S.

Dear Gin:

Can you teach me how to smile like that? And if not then at least teach me how  
>to do that creepy voice. It could come in handy...<p>

_xJ11Cx _

Dear _xJ11Cx,_

Well, this will take years and years of practice. I started at a young age so I can do it flawlessly right now! And for the creepy voice, it should feel as if something is in your throat.

I love my smile,

Gin Ichimaru

Dear tatsuki:

Do you want to go with ichigo when he fights hollows? Do you want to be able  
>to protect as well? Or do you want to stay a weak powerless human constantly<br>being protected? Wouldn't you rather be protecting that orange haired weakling  
>like you always have? Instead of him protecting you? If you want to... Just<br>let me know... ψ (｀

´) ψ

_xJ11Cx_

Dear _xJ11Cx,_

Hollows? Is that what they are called? I can't really exactly see them. So I'm not sure how I can fight them. But I can certainly kick Ichigo's ass.

I am tired of him,

Tatsuki A.

Aizen: does your bitch-curl make you feel pretty for the boys Sosuke?

_Maaka oro_

Dear _maaka oro,_

It definitely makes me feel higher and sexier.

I know you're jealous,

Aizen S.

Gin Ichimaru: what's your fav thing to do in the living world?

_Maaka oro_

Dear _maaka oro,_

I have a bunch of things. The funniest one is creeping up on some little kid and playing peek a boo with them! Their faces go into the weirdest expressions!

Gin Ichimaru

Ryuuken (ishidas dad): where do you keep most of those lovely Quincy  
>artifacts?<p>

_Maaka oro_

Dear _maaka oro,_

I had rather not tell you. My son has been constantly trying to find them. But these artifacts are certainly and will definitely not be held with care once they're with him.

They are all locked away someplace,

Ryuuken

Kon: why are you a pervert when you are a anatomically incorrect doll?

_Maaka oro_

Dear _maaka oro,_

Pervert? Sheesh! People have a right to do things!

Kon

Yuzu: what do you usually like to do while your brother and father are off  
>dues-ex-machine?<p>

_Maaka oro_

Dear _maaka oro_

Well, I like to make new foods I never tried making before. Ichigo also lets me play with his lion stuff animal, which is really easy to sew on!

They're going off now,

Yuzu Kurosaki

Karin: if properly done would you be interested in being a soul reaper like  
>ichigo? Except better trained and not by a lunatic?<p>

_Maaka oro_

Dear _maaka oro,_

No way! I don't need to be caught up in my brother's boring business.

It's stupid,

Karin Kurosaki

Urahara: does benihime min being a cain? if so can i call her the pimp-cain?

_Maaka oro_

Dear _maaka oro,_

This is an automated messaging service. Right now, Kisuke Urahara or "your favorite shopkeeper" is currently out on an errand. If you will like to contact him, please give Tessai a call.

From automated messaging service

Orihime: you're a sweet girl, but that whatever-the-hell-you-made just  
>registered as a dirty bomb. the US government wants your recipies please.<p>

_Maaka oro_

Dear _maaka oro,_

Eh? How? All it was was this medicine, peanut butter, red bean paste, flour, ice cream, vanilla extract, eggs, milk, chocolate, potatoes, beans, soda, and some meat mixed together!

It's delicious,

Orihime Inoue

tatsuki: would you be closer to a Shinigami or a full bringer if you could  
>choose<p>

_maaka oro_

Dear _maaka oro_

Depends I guess.

Not really sure,

Tatsuki A.

Dear Karin,

I know how much you love soccer, but what if I told you that you

already have the powers of a Shinigami? Who would you want

to train you? Toshirou or Urahara?

_Ziya Hitsugaya_

Dear _Ziya Hitsugaya,_

I think I would rather have my brother Ichigo teach me. Toshiro is weird, and Urahara is some crazy shopkeeper.

That's what Ichigo said,

Karin Kurosaki

Dear Yuzu,

I think you are such a sweet girl. I was told that you are a

great cook. I hope I can try your cooking one day. Stay Sweet.

_Ziya Hitsugaya_

Dear _Ziya Hitsugaya,_

Well, I'm cooking this curry for everyone tonight at dinner. Would you like to come for dinner?

I'm sure Dad and Ichigo would love to meet you,

Yuzu Kurosaki

Dear Captain Hitsugaya

I have a dog who is Dieing. I have had him for 21 years.

do dogs get to go to soul society too? If so I hope you're

the one to send him.

_Ziya Hitsugaya_

Dear _Ziya Hitsugaya_

Wow, that's a pretty long time for dog years. I'll go look for him now.

Toshiro Hitsugaya

**Well, that's it for now! Next chapter will still be the special! SO KEEP THOSE REVIEWS COMING!**

**By abercrombie1218w**

**PLEASE REVIEW! **

**Comments? Concerns? Questions? PM me or review it in your message! **


	17. SPECIAL PART 2

By abercrombie1218w PLEASE REVIEW!

Bleach Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH!

Also, sorry that I haven't updated for a while now, my computer was having some technical difficulties! But when Christmas time comes, I'll be updating super-FAST!

Authors note: **Yay! The SPECIAL IS HERE! SO READ AND REVIEW! If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, please feel free to put it in a review or PM me!**

**Thanks so much to Rukia121, Minicha, reven lord of darkness, Griffin of the Nights, MMB35, xJ11Cx, toshirolovr94, mysterios, maaka oro, and many others who reviewed this story!**

**Caution from author: Please don't get mad if I don't update so fast! There are a lot of messages and I want to get to everyone's message so they won't be sad that their message isn't on there. (It makes me feel bad too.) But no worries, each chapter will be extended in length! So there will be plenty to read!**

Message the Bleach Shinigami

Special Part Two

To Gin ~ did you know your smile is CONTAGIOUS? Well it is. Whenever I see you  
>smile, I smile. Your "fox-like" face is adorable and not to mention sometimes<br>downright creepy, but I look past the creepy (and even the adorable for your  
>sake). Is that expression natural?<p>

You're just badass. Hopefully that will spread as well. : D

~ TheGreenElephant

Dear _TheGreenElephant,_

Oh, Yay! My cheerfulness is spreading! I know it may be creepy at times, but who can help it? I love to smile and frowning will give you wrinkles. That's why Yamamoto has all those wrinkles on his face, not only because he is old, but he FROWNS too much!

It is definitely natural,

Gin Ichimaru

To Yuzu ~ do you have any pumpkin recipes? Or use pumpkin in anything? You  
>should try it sometime if you don't!<p>

~ TheGreenElephant

Dear _TheGreenElephant,_

Pumpkin recipies? Hmm, usually I just like making what Dad, Ichigo and Karin like. They never really liked pumpkin. For some reason, whenever I ask them what special food they want to eat, they always say, "Curry's good."

Going to ask them now,

Yuzu Kurosaki

To Toshiro ~

I'm sorry, Hitsugaya-taicho I mean. You know, have you ever thought of  
>embracing your shortness? I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, but<br>seriously, have you ever thought of that? You want to be treated like an adult  
>but then you blow your temper about your height be mentioned? Your height can<br>come in handy in more ways than one - you just have to find them (if you  
>haven't already). But I guess I understand - everyone has their berserk<br>button.

BTW: Do you like any other fruit/vegetable besides watermelon?

Sincerely,

~TheGreenElephant

Dear _TheGreenElephant,_

Yeah, I guess you can say that whenever people talk about me being short it pops my bubble into shreds. But it really seriously does get annoying! 'Oh, Toshiro is so short this, oh toshiro is so short that,' it just never seems to end.

Thanks for the respect though,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

So Gin, school me in the ways of the creepy? Nah,  
>already pretty good on that one. Your question: Ever shot yourself with your<br>sword? Frickin' friend over here says that's impossible and that I'm crazy.  
>Don't get me wrong 'cause I am, but still...<p>

_Griffin of the Night_

Dear _Griffin of the Night,_

Well, you can, but we prefer not to. Besides, our zanpakuto wouldn't allow it anyway. Mine would be like, "What are you thinking? Are you freaking crazy?" So don't worry about your friend, because I feel for you.

I love this messaging thing,

Gin Ichimaru

... To Uraha-ha I've seen what some  
>of these people write to you people and I feel bad for the amount of stupidity<br>you deal with. So an intelligent question for you: Why do people like this  
>thing so much? It's fun, I get it, and it's why I'm still writing, but why?<p>

_Griffin of the nights_

Dear _Griffin of the nights,_

Yes, and I love the nickname! It suits me so- OW! Yoruichi is very grumpy today since we ran out of the ramen. It's not my fault she eats a million servings per day! Well, as you already said, it's fun. Some of us, not **all **of us like to piss some people off or they just have nothing better to do. For example, Rangiku does thing so that way her captain will think she is supposedly doing her well "online" (I should tell you that Soul Society has had a major update) paperwork when she is actually messaging people. Another person is Byakuya, (surprising right?) he does it so that way he looks like he is ALWAYS working and is a well coughfaithfulcough captain! And me? It's fun to do this weird messaging thing with some random person who just somehow knows me!

I feel famous,

Kisuke Urahara

Aizen, using the espada, especially Starrk, like that is just terrible and I  
>don't give the honor of answering my questions to people I don't like. But<br>here's what I think about you, you are a heartless piece of *beep* who has a  
>God complex and needs another asswhooping ASAP. I hope Rukia141 does some<br>horrible things to you, like sicking the Rabid Fanboys and girls on you.

_Griffin of the nights_

Dear _Griffin of the nights,_

My, my, my, what a child! Well, you're everything you just said times the biggest number your tiny brain can think of.

Be respectful to those more superior than you,

Aizen S.

To  
>Orihime, no questions for you but a suggestion instead. Go with Ulquiorra!<p>

_Griffin of the nights_

Dear _Griffin of the nights,_

Um, why?

Confused,

Orihime Inoue

Dear Aizen,

How do you manage to stay so calm during meetings with those crazy Espada?

Doesn't envy you,

v13p

Dear _v13p,_

Well, I think I am the most calm in the room. I pour out my special tea and for some reason they all get all scared or something. The tea makes me feel all warm inside and I feel really good when I share it to the Espada. After all, isn't there a saying in the World of the Living that "sharing is caring?"

Giving Starrk some tea right now,

Aizen S.

Dear Gin,

How did you manage to get your smile so big?

Curious,

v13p

Dear _v13p,_

Well, it's plain and simple really! Just have one day where you are ALWAYS smiling and not ever getting out of that position! It sort of stretches the mouth muscle.

Practicing it right now,

Gin Ichimaru

Dear Tousen,

Are you SURE you're blind?

Doubtful,

v13p

Dear _v13p,_

This is Gin Ichimaru messaging for him since he can't see the keyboard or message. I would say, yes, yes, and yes, he definitely is. Did you know that he likes this sugar bread? And when I wave it around in his face he is like, "Hmm, probably just the wind." But if I put it too close he goes like, "SUGAR BREAD! WHERE IS IT?" He starts waving his hands around and whining! It's actual rather immature and childish for a man who was the Captain of the ninth squad.

Taking pictures,

Gin Ichimaru

Dear Kon,

What's it like living as a stuffed lion?

Pities you,

v13p

Dear _v13p,_

Well, I'm glad you actually noticed how my important life is. I'm a stuffed lion who is extremely handsome and sexy that all the girls come over to me saying that there is no life as we know it without me.

You should be jealous,

Kon

Momo Hinamori - you really are sweet and very cute as well! I have a poster  
>of you in my room! Have you ever thought of modeling?<p>

Kiwi-kiwi-kii

Dear _Kiwi-kiwi-kii,_

You have a poster of me? _Gasp! _Well, thanks so much, I never really knew that anyone really knows me and all. Me modeling? Rangiku chan says I should but I'm not really so sure about it especially when Shiro chan gets all mad when even a little piece of my shoulder shows.

I guess I'll think about it,

Momo Hinamori

(Side comment from author: If you want to read about something like that you can read I love the way you lie by Snowy Forest!)

Izuru Kira - if I was a shinigami, I'd totally join your division! And I think  
>you're fine just the way you are, smiling or not. For my question, do you<br>really have to explain your swords abilities to your opponent every time you  
>get in a fight? I think you'd have a bigger advantage if the enemy was unsure<br>of your exact abilities

Kiwi-kiwi-kii

Dear _Kiwi-kiwi-kii,_

Well, um thanks? And yes it's good to explain your swords abilities to your opponent because it makes them lose focus and confidence in winning. You can distract them with one thing while thinking about a way to attack at the right time. Besides, the enemy would soon enough find out anyway; I do it to buy time and think of a strategy.

Going off to do some paperwork now,

Kira Izuru

Kensei Muguruma - do you know who Hisagi is? Have you ever talked to him? If  
>not, you really should!<p>

_Kiwi-kiwi-kii_

Dear _kiwi-kiwi-kii,_

_Scratches hair._ Hisagi? I hear that's the name of the current lieutenant of the ninth division. Talk to him? I'll be kicked out since I'm a Vizard! Or even worse, get executed.

I'll try my best,

Kensei M.

Gin Ichimaru - first of all, YOU ROCK: D do you know you're one of the most  
>popular characters? And more importantly, WHAT EXACTLY are your feelings<br>towards a certain Rangiku Matsumoto?

_Kiwi-kiwi-kii_

Dear _Kiwi-kiwi-kii,_

Thank you! I know I'm awesome! Ran chan, eh? Well, why don't you go ask her? I'm sure she'll think of something!

Not really sure of what to say,

Gin Ichimaru

Tousen,

How come if you're blind you like the color orange so much? It's on like all  
>if your outfits: P<p>

_Sasha_

Dear _Sasha,_

This is Gin Ichimaru typing for Tousen buddy! The former Captain of the ninth division likes orange because if you don't know, Tousen can sort of only feel that color. It's weird, but true! In his closet he has, orange shoes, orange socks, orange shirts, orange bed, orange pants, orange scarf, orange dye, and even an ORANGE FACE!

Taking more picture,

Gin Ichimaru

Orihime,

...do you ever get back pain? You know ... From your giant boobs. You should  
>ask Ichigo to give you a backrub!<p>

_Sasha_

Dear _Sasha,_

Eh? Back pain? No, um why would I? And besides, Ichigo doesn't give girls backrubs.

I'll try asking him,

Orihime Inoue

Momo or Captain Hitsugaya,

How would you react if Orihime tried giving you baked watermelon? :3 (PS,  
>that's probably one of the most NORMAL dishes she cooks!)<p>

_Sasha_

Dear _Sasha,_

Baked watermelon? EH? Shiro chan, what do you think of having baked watermelon? _Toshiro spits in disgust. _Hmm, wonder what's wrong with him.

It might be good,

Momo Hinamori and Toshiro Hitsugaya

To Renji Abarai:

LMAO. You're hilarious. Even funnier than Ichigo . Haha. Though I kind of  
>didn't like you at first 'cause you started beating up Ichigo. But that anime<br>scene where you pretended you was a cop? HAHA I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF. I watched  
>that 100+ times and I still think that's funny. LOLOL.<p>

DON'T DENY YOUR PINAPPLE-HEAD-NESS! Don't be ashamed! Just say "pineapples are  
>cool, dude" and if Ichigo says "whatever." then just be like, "You're just<br>jealous that pineapples are more intimidating than strawberries." He'll be so  
>jealous! LMAO.<p>

SUNFLASH OF THE SKIES AKA KYOU KUROSAKI

Dear _Sunflash of the skies,_

Are you like freaking serious? And who are you to say that I am a _pineapple?_ FOR THE LAST FREAKING TIME, I'M NOT A PINEAPPLE! D****! How many times do I have to say it? And well, thanks for the tip, I _guess, _I'll try it sometime.

I'm still not a pineapple,

Renji Abarai

To Rukia Kuchiki:

QUICK! Snatch Ichigo! If you don't... Orihime will snatch him away first!  
>You'll regret it. Plus Renji should chase after someone else. Ulquiorra Cifer<br>needs Orihime more, anyways. Poor Arrancer. No offense.

BUT SRSLY. There's a reason why you were chosen to go to the Real World with  
>RenjiToushiro/Matsumoto/Yumichika/Ikkaku/whoever else I forgot... BECAUSE  
>CAPTAIN-COMMANDER YAMAMOTO EVEN SUPPORTS ICHIRUKI! :D<p>

So go!

SUNFLASH OF THE SKIES AKA KYOU KUROSAKI

Dear _Sunflash of the Skies,_

Um, okay? I have no idea what you mean, wait. Are you talking about RELATIONSHIPS? Who are you to judge who I go with? And why does everyone think I should be with Ichigo? Nii- sama wouldn't like that. And does Captain Yamamoto really support it?

Not really sure what to do,

Rukia Kuchiki

TO SOIFON:

MY ROLE-MODEL SOIFON-TAICHOU~ Gahhh. I love your shikai, but your bankai is  
>kind of not suited for the assassin role. I don't think you should use it<br>often.

But still. You're the best~ and the coolest person ever! 3 Though I'm actually  
>not sure if you should chase after Yoruichi... Kisuke kinda likes her, I guess<br>3

SUNFLASH OF THE SKIES AKA KYOU KUROSAKI

Dear _Sunflash of the skies,_

Kisuke? That b******! He shouldn't try to even go near my beautiful mistress! Thanks and I get the thing about my bankai a lot. But if it means getting to follow Yoruichi sama, then it doesn't really even matter.

Thanks,

Soifon

YACHIRU:

STOP EATING IKKAKU'S HEAD, YOU LITTLE PINK BALL OF FUR! GO KISS BYAKUYA OR  
>SOMETHING!<p>

SUNFLASH OF THE SKIES AKA KYOU KUROSAKI

Dear _Sunflash of the Skies,_

Why not? It's FFFFFUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN! Bya-kun? He's getting all boring now!

Off with Kenny right now,

Yachiru F.

ICHIGO:

Don't you think Toushiro and Karin are cute? ^^ Though Toushiro's cool in  
>person. Did you see? Short and sweet. 3<p>

Also where did your cape go? I liked your outfit when you went to save Rukia  
>from the burning execution site thingy. I forgot its name... -; The<br>cape+epic bandages on your face made you look cooler than your usual  
>dopey-looking face. Like seriously.<p>

But I do like the scowl. keep it up! 3

SUNFLASH OF THE SKIES AKA KYOU KUROSAKI

Dear _Sunflash of the Skies,_

NO FREAKING WAY! IF Toshiro even comes near my sister, I'll –I'll well, I don't know, but I'm making sure they won't EVER be together! You liked the rags that Yoruichi gave me? Now that's a first. That was to make no one really recognize me and to cover my back injuries so it won't get any more damage.

Still wondering if you're related to me,

Ichigo Kurosaki

BYAKUYA KUCHIKI:

I gotta say. Your English dub voice... IT'S EFFING HILARIOUS!

Yeah. That's all I gotta say. Oh, yeah, you're a pretty good person and all.  
>But try not to be so prissy. be calm and cool, and SILENT.<p>

SUNFLASH OF THE SKIES AKA KYOU KUROSAKI

Dear _Sunflash of the Skies,_

Captain has gone on a mission to the World of the Living with some others. They should be arriving about…now. English dub? What?

Confused,

Renji Abarai

EVERYONE ELSE:

ICHIGO! TELL URYU TO STOP BE SO EFFING PESSIMISTIC. Like srsly? Quincy is  
>supposed to be cool, calm, collected! Don't lose your cool! Be SILENT. Say<br>"Hn" every time someone says to you, goddammit!

SUNFLASH OF THE SKIES AKA KYOU KUROSAKI

Dear _Sunflash of the Skies,_

Hmm, looks like I got the random letter this time! Oh, I'm Orihime by the way! And I'll pass the message on to Ichigo if you would like or I'll just tell Ishida kun directly.

Making my shaved curry ice right now,

Orihime Inoue

TOUSHIRO:

Hello.

Aren't you the short and white-haired captain? The one with the anger issues?

LOL.

HAI TOUSHIRO-KUN~!

Keep it up! But take a day off, sometime, 'kay? Go see Karin and take her to  
>the ice-cream stand someday 3<p>

Or, instead, do that for me.

3 ICE PEOPLE! I WILL BEAT YOU DOWN WITH MY GOLDEN WINGS!

SUNFLASH OF THE SKIES AKA KYOU KUROSAKI

I'm cousins with Ichigo. xP

Dear _Sunflash of the Skies,_

Kurosaki has never mentioned you. I know what you mean by me and Karin but I have no interest or even want a relationship. As a Shinigami, I don't have time for any stuff like that.

I don't really like sweets either,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Dear Kon,

Why are you so perverted? You and Keigo are like the only characters that  
>would actually get on my nerves e.e. I actually think your awesome and<br>funny (Keigo too), but if I was in Ichigo's or Rukia's position then yes I  
>would be annoyed to death.<p>

Irritated, OpX3.

Dear _OpX3,_

_Gasp! _I am an awesome and sexy lion! You don't realize my importance. And I'm not perverted, it's just that some girls are really- Sorry about that, this is Ichigo; the stupid perverted stuffed lion was talking aloud everything he was typing so I had to get rid of him. And I'm glad that you actually get me and Rukia's position because of him!

I'm already annoyed by seeing his idiotic face,

Ichigo Kurosaki and Kon

Dear Karin,

Hey there: D! I seriously think you are awesome, one of my favorite  
>characters. I bet you're off beating people at soccer. Anyway train hard and<br>sure enough you will make it to the nationals *.*! Maybe go ask Shiro-Chan to  
>train with you x3! I'll go get him now xD!<p>

Off to look for baby Shiro, OpX3.

Dear _OpX3,_

Shiro chan? Who's that? Oh, you mean Toshiro. We really don't need him anymore and yes we're beating everybody now because we got our confidence level up!

Thanks for the encouragement,

Karin Kurosaki

Dear Tatsuki,

Tatsuki-chan! We must do something about Mr. Pineapple! He said he could beat  
>you in any sport you throw at him! He must be insane to say such a thing.<p>

Getting a camera, OpX3.

Dear _OpX3,_

Who is Mr. Pineapple? Wait, do you mean that guy who comes to my school sometimes with all the tattoos and his red hair tied up making him look like a pineapple? Renji? The hippie you mean? Well, I definitely agree with you! He is insane. In fact I'll show him the next time I see his pineapple face!

I'll definitely beat him,

Tatsuki A.

Dear Ishida,

I know I might not look it, but I'm also top at my class. Odd right? I truly  
>don't act it. Either way my question is how hard is it balancing Quincy duties<br>and school work? Must be troublesome.

Awaiting your intelligence, OpX3.

Dear _OpX3,_

Well, congrats to you for being top of your class like me. Yes, it is rather troublesome. After I come home from school, I finish my homework and study, then, just when I am going to bed, my rather crazy dad who just happens to still have his Quincy powers comes and gets me to train.

It's really tiring,

Uryu Ishida

Dear Orihime,

What's you secret to big boobs?

Eternally flat-chested,

Kairii kurosaki

Dear _Kairri kurosaki,_

Secret? I really don't know what to say. I don't um, exactly have a secret.

Sorry,

Orihime Inoue

Ohayo, Orihime-chan!

Douzo Yoroshiku,

Emiko-chan was wondering, when did you start to infatuate yourself with  
>Ichi-kun? And, what would happen if he didn't return your feelings? To be<br>honest, you and Uryu-kun have much better chemistry and Emiko-chan likes  
>Rukia-chan and Ichi-kun together as well.<p>

Emiko-chan was also wondering if Orihime-chan would make something for  
>Emiko-chan's birthday. It's December 16th and Emiko-chan would love to get a<br>present from you.

Hoping you'll take Emiko-chan's advice and stop obsessing over Ichi-kun,

Emiko-chan~

Dear _Emiko chan,_

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I made you some ice cream with peanut butter, spinach, and potatoes! Rukia chan got you a chappy! Ichigo got a cake, and Uryu and Chad got balloons! I'm not really sure about my feelings for Ichigo but I hope you have a great birthday!

Sincerely,

Orihime Inoue

(From author: Sorry that I posted it up 1 day late! Well, I am also wishing you a happy birthday!)

Dear Ishiin:

You're a doctor and I've been dying to ask YOU this question; where do babies  
>come from.<p>

Feel free to be as detailed as possible, animekisses

Dear _animekisses,_

_Blush. _Why babies come from their mother's belly. And I'm not sure if I should tell you the details because Ichigo will probably- OKAY ICHIGO! DADDY IS SORRY!

Gotta run,

Ishiin Kurosaki

Dear Orihime:

Another adorable character that I love~! So, did you know about all these  
>fanfics and fans that love pairing you up with Ulquiorra? Personally, I do<br>too. How do you feel about that pairing?

Animekisses

Dear _Animekisses,_

Me and Ulquiorra? I find that (personally) very well, um, awkward. Ulquiorra is a type of hollow. Ichigo kills hollows and- actually he doesn't have feelings or emotions so truthfully, I don't know.

Orihime Inoue

Dear Tousen:

You're blind? Really? I highly doubt that. Like when Gin walked in and you  
>were watching Ichigo and the group's progress in Hueco Mundo. How do you do<br>that if you're blind?

I'm on to you, animekisses

Dear_ animekisses,_

This is Gin Ichimaru typing for Tousen. Tousen says he is blind and well he uses his other 4 senses that are more enhanced due to his blindness. He also says that his sense of hearing is most strong. Thanks for asking, I was actually wondering myself!

He is definitely blind,

Gin Ichimaru and Tousen

Dear Kensei:

We know why Hisagi has that tattoo on his face. His reason is innocent enough.  
>But what did YOU think it meant when you got it?<p>

You naughty perve, animekisses

Dear _animekisses,_

_Chuckle. _The "6" is part of my name of "Kensei." The "9" meant my division. Together it shows that I am the 9th division captain. Or well, I used to.

I know what you mean,

Kensei M.

PS. You think wrong for a girl.

Dear Urruru:

Kyaa~! You're sooo cute! I wish you had some more plot focus, you and  
>Jinta are amazing!<p>

Love, animekisses

Dear _animekisses,_

Thank you! Jinta said that he is always awesome, cool, and amazing.

Cleaning Urahara Shop right now,

Urruru

Shinji,

You're amazing and my favorite character ever. Also, I'm sorry that Hiyori  
>keeps beating you up, though I have to say it's probably because you're always<br>making fun of her and talking back.

Maybe you should try just ignoring her,

Otakulove67

Dear _Otakulove67,_

Thank you! See Hiyori? Someone pities- OW! As I was saying someone does feel sorry for me. I'm not making fun of her or talking back! Wait, you make it sound as if I'm the younger one and Hiyori is older than me! This is totally not true!

I got a message before Hiyori,

Shinji H.

Dear Aizen,

I would love to help, tell me what I have to do; I'll gladly follow you.

Your supporter,

Jennifer

Dear _Jennifer,_

Well, you know my lieutenant or my old pathetic lieutenant Momo Hinamori? Well, I also have a grudge against that prodigy Hitsugaya. She seems like a lot to him so why don't you take her, then show Hitsugaya while she is choking in pain and misery.

That would be hilarious,

Aizen S.

Dear Gin,

How do you become such an excellent liar? You even had Aizen fooled for the  
>longest of times. Just curious.<p>

Don't get the wrong idea,

Jennifer

Dear _Jennifer,_

_Laughs with a big grin in the face. _Why? Are you going to lie to Aizen? Well, it really all depends on how you act. If you hide your true self for like forever to the very person you want to lie to and act like something totally not your thing, I guarantee that you'll probably succeed. But in this case, sorry, but everyone sort of already knows your identity thanks to Rukia141.

You should play your guitar more publicly,

Gin Ichimaru

Dear Tousen,

I didn't expect you to be on Aizen's side; when I found out, my respect for  
>you grew. The way you betrayed Hisagi and Komamura that was well played.<p>

Keep up the good work,

Jennifer

Dear _Jennifer,_

This is Gin Ichimaru typing for the yes blind Tousen. Tousen said that he also respects you like you respect him. Other than that, no comment he says.

Gin Ichimaru and Tousen

Dear Aizen:

You lose in the end, so whatever. How does it feel to be imprisoned? How does it  
>feel knowing you'll never become God? On a brighter note, if make me feel<br>happy as can be :)

Hate Animekisses

Dear _Animekisses,_

_Does wicked evil laughter. _I always have something planned. In fact, you're next on my list.

Aizen S.

Dear Gin:

Of course Gin-sama! Why didn't I think of that?

Off to cosplay now, Animekisses

Dear _Animekisses,_

I always think of the most wonderful things don't I?

I agree with myself,

Gin Ichimaru

Dear Kon:

I'm glad I gave you your first message! And I look forward to the day when you  
>get to hug Rukia AND Orihime. Also, how do you feel about all the fanfics that<br>are written about you and Ichigo?

Animekisses

Dear _Animekisses,_

Hmm, now I know I'm popular and that even _you_ can't stand my awesomeness and sexiness! Me and Ichigo? Let me guess, I'm the main character in that story right? Since you said my name before Ichigo's?

I'm so awesome,

Kon

Dear Captain Soifon,

You're my favorite character ever! And i could i would beat your lieutenant and  
>replace him. With your awesum skills you deserve so much more! But heres<br>my. Question. I wanna be like you what woud you recommend for training.

Sincerely,

Blue kitty,

P.s. You're amazing!

Dear _Blue kitty,_

Well, if you want to get into my division, I suggest you train on stealth and speed. Like the flash step or shunpo. Kido could also be useful when getting away.

You can learn at the Academy,

Soifon

**Alright! Finally done! This was my longest chapter ever! Sorry if I didn't get to some people's letters because some people had more than 10 LETTERS! I am now making a limit of 5 letters each review due to some people waiting really long and I just can't get to all of them at once!**

**Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW!**

**By abercrombie1218w!**


	18. SPECIAL PART 3 Bothering Kensei

By abercrombie1218w PLEASE REVIEW FOR FUTURE CHAPTERS!

Bleach Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH!

**Special Message from Author**: Thanks **SO** much **TO EVERYONE** who **REVIEWED**! Also, **I am limiting 5** **letters per review** due to people I want to get to but then I don't have enough space to put in their message! Sorry!

**Apology**: I'm busier now, so I won't be updating as fast as I use to. School likes to pile up more homework like there is no tomorrow! English teachers pass out essays as if it was money. Math teachers teach more concepts and move on too quickly. Science teachers teach stuff you don't understand. History teachers are now making you do presentations! Language is just plain confusing (especially when you're not native to that language). But most of all, PE/Health is the same! Thank goodness!

* * *

><p>Message the Bleach Shinigami<p>

Special Part 3

Aizen: bitch please. Kisukes got it better, any who i got it from a certain  
>blue espada you are interested in being a god. Yeah let's all remember how well<br>that worked out for everyone else.

_Maaka oro_

* * *

><p>Dear <em>maaka oro,<em>

You know that I am unstoppable! I will become the god of this world and you of all people are just a pawn in one of my games. Blue espada? Is it the 6th? He always has something to say when I pour him tea.

Don't underestimate me,

Aizen S.

* * *

><p>Yuzu: you are so cute w! Would you prefer to be normal like now or have<br>powers too?

_Maaka oro_

* * *

><p><em>Dear maaka oro,<em>

Powers? Eh? Maybe invisibility or something if I were to have powers. But I prefer to stay normal.

Yuzu Kurosaki

* * *

><p>Kisuke: don't ignore meh you sexy betch.<p>

_Maaka oro_

* * *

><p><em>Dear maaka oro,<em>

Who said I was ignoring you?

Finding the hat Tessai hid,

Kisuke Urahara

* * *

><p>Hitsugaya: why is there a matsumoto ice statue in the office?<p>

_Maaka oro_

_Dear maaka oro,_

Well, she promised me that if she got to go to the bar and have a drink the other day; she'll do the paperwork the next day. I knew that she wouldn't so I said that I would freeze her the next whole day, throw out all her sake including the ones under the floorboard, in her bed mattress, behind the shelf, and the ones in the tunnel for the Shinigami women's association. And apparently, she didn't keep her promise. So that's exactly what I did.

Finding more sake bottles,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

PS. I found over 200 BOTTLES! WHAT THE HECK!

* * *

><p>Kira: chess: D also you rock.<p>

_Maaka oro_

* * *

><p><em>Dear maaka oro,<em>

_Rubs chin. _Chess? Do you mean the game that the children in the World of the Living would play?

Thanks,

Kira Izuru

* * *

><p>Yamamoto: make psychological exams a regular thing for Ichigo. Can't have the<br>next spirit king go on a homicidal rampage can we?

_Maaka oro_

* * *

><p><em>Dear maaka oro,<em>

This is automated messaging service. The first division has experienced a fire and messages cannot be sent. Your message will not be resent either. We're sorry for the inconvenience.

From automated messaging service central

Zangetsu: i shall call you pimpin mcbadass.

_Maaka oro_

* * *

><p><em>Dear maaka oro,<em>

This is Ichigo obviously since Zangetsu isn't materialized anymore. The Old man says that he doesn't need such a hideous name and he prefers "The Cool Guy in Black and Red" better. Hey! I know it's a bit weird but just deal with it!

Heading to dinner,

Ichigo Kurosaki

* * *

><p>Isshin: töshiro violated Karin.<p>

_Maaka oro_

* * *

><p><em>Dear maaka oro<em>

WHAT! I knew Karin was hiding something! OH! MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER! DON'T WORRY KARIN! PAPA'S COMING!

Gotta go now,

Isshin Kurosaki

* * *

><p>Toshiro: Isshin wants to kill you.<p>

_Maaka oro_

_Dear maaka oro,_

_Sighs. _I don't like this messenger anymore. It just causes me more PROBLEMS! And yes, Isshin is right next to me currently watching me type. Isshin, don't worry I never went near your daughter.

I don't have time for that stuff,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

* * *

><p>Matsumoto: i won't call child services if you give me a cookie.<p>

_Maaka oro_

* * *

><p><em>Dear maaka oro,<em>

Well, alright! That's easy! Would you like a bottle of sake to go with it?

Rangiku Matsumoto

* * *

><p>Ichigo: can you dance?<p>

_Maaka oro_

* * *

><p><em>Dear maaka oro,<em>

You again! And actually to answer your question, I'm not really sure myself. I haven't gone to some party or whatever. But if you count killing hollows a dance, then, I think I'm actually pretty okay if I may say so myself.

Rukia's dragging me out of class again,

Ichigo Kurosak

* * *

><p>i<p>

Yoruichi: why does Kisuke wear that hat?

_Maaka oro_

* * *

><p>Dear <em>maaka oro,<em>

Really, I don't even know myself. But I heard him saying one time that he made it himself; but I don't believe that. He doesn't tell anyone why he wears it and where he got it.

Trying to ask him again,

Yoruichi

* * *

><p>Hisagi: wanna play baseball?<p>

_Maaka oro_

* * *

><p><em>Dear maaka oro,<em>

This is automated messaging service. Hisagi Shuhei is currently unavailable. If you would like to contact him, please ask Captain Komamura where he may be.

From automated messaging service

* * *

><p>Hanataro: let's make babies: D<p>

_Maaka oro_

* * *

><p><em>Dear maaka oro,<em>

_Faints. Fourth division members quickly get him on to a hospital bed._

Hanataro

* * *

><p>Spirit king: get off your ass and do something.<p>

_Maaka oro_

* * *

><p><em>Dear maaka oro,<em>

This is Central 46. Such language is not allowed to get to the Spirit King. The Royals also do not have messaging service nor are they allowed speaking with the outside world. Our Captains would also like to inform you that the Spirit King does do something- allowing Shinigami to live and souls to pass on.

Please DO NOT send anymore messages or we'll be ordered to have you imprisoned for a couple hundred years.

From the direct Order of Central 46

* * *

><p>To Tatsuki:<p>

I kidnaped I MEAN "borrowed Ichigo... He tied himself up to a chair and beat  
>himself up. All by himself. I didn't do it. And he also tied a sign around his<br>neck saying "Punching bag for Tatsuki and xJ11Cx." sooo... You wanna help me?

Totally was not me: xJ11Cx

* * *

><p>Dear xJ11Cx<p>

That is very ironic. But sure I'll help you. I can give Ichigo double punishment for making Orihime cry.

Coming now in my karate clothes,

Tatsuki A.

* * *

><p>To Senna:<p>

Now that Rukia is leaving Ichigo, do you have an opinion on that topic?

Well? : xJ11Cx

* * *

><p>Dear xJ11Cx<p>

_Asks nervously. _What topic?

Very confused,

Senna

* * *

><p>To Gin:<p>

I got the creepy voice down. The smile is enough to make someone jump. But y u  
>no teach me how to do eyes?<p>

Meme's are funny: xJ11Cx

* * *

><p>Dear xJ11Cx<p>

The eyes? Simple. If you perfected the smile, the eyes go right with it. Because your smile will be so freaking huge that your eyes automatically close. Leaving a little hole to see through.

Perfect the smile first,

Gin Ichimaru

* * *

><p>To Aizen:<p>

You almost did it. You backstabbing bastard. (As Jennifer said) but I think  
>you had only one flaw in your plan. Which was allowing the captains you<br>defeated to live. I would have ended their existence right there...

Oh well: xJ11Cx

* * *

><p>Dear xJ11Cx<p>

You still have much to learn. A supporter of Jennifer eh? (If you don't know please read Interview: Bleach Parings! It's a really good fanfic!) I like to play with my pawns first…_Does evil laughter…_

Aizen S.

* * *

><p>To Senna:<p>

If you have everything back now... What are you going to do? Do you have any  
>plans after the interviews? Or are you going to go back to "sleep"?<p>

Curious: xJ11Cx

* * *

><p>Dear xJ11Cx<p>

What I'm going to do? Well, I have lots of plans actually after the interviews. For instance, traveling around the world, eating new things, getting new clothes, and all that. But I know I can't because I have to go back to "sleep"; I'm putting it that way because you did and I'm not exactly sure how to explain it.

Senna

* * *

><p>To Tatsuki:<p>

Are you aware of the story's people write about you and other characters?  
>There even some with Orihime and you being "more" than good friend's...<p>

Always ready to help a girl with an uncontrollable rage: xJ11Cx

P.S. I heard Ichigo wrote some... ψ (｀

´) ψ

* * *

><p>DearxJ11Cx<br>Is that so? Ichigo? After I just beat him up so hard he started crying? Seriously? Well, time to go for round 3.

Going now,

Tatsuki A.

* * *

><p>To Orihime:<p>

I don't really understand why people hate you. You don't seem that bad. Maybe  
>an air-head yes but not that bad. Must be because most people prefer Rukia to<br>be with Ichigo instead of you... You should go out with him to prove them  
>wrong... (conceals laugh and makes a bad poker face).<p>

Totally not kidding: xJ11Cx

* * *

><p>Dear xJ11Cx<p>

Thanks, I know a lot of people do like putting Rukia with Ichigo. She just makes him smile so much and around me, he just acts like nothing. I don't think Ichigo would like to be with me, he doesn't even have time for school, more or less for me.

Orihime Inoue

* * *

><p>To Kon:<p>

Almost forgot about you there. The shows mascot needs some form of support. So  
>Keep dreaming of women's chest<p>

And never give up. Since you're in Ichigo's body you can't get in trouble...  
>Actually that gives me an idea. Here's a list of every girl in a 10 mile<br>radius that has breast bigger than a B cup. And he's an instruction manual on  
>How to get into Ichigo's body painlessly. Make sure after every victim I MEAN<br>girl you scream " my names Ichigo kurosaki!" then run.

Send the weakling my regards: xJ11Cx

* * *

><p>Dear xJ11Cx<br>Now you finally understand me. _Sighs. _I wish more people are like you! I can't waste any more time!

I'M COMING ORIHIME!

Kon

* * *

><p>Dear Captain Soifon,<p>

You're my favorite character ever! And i could i would beat your lieutenant and  
>replace him. With your awesum skills you deserve so much more! But heres<br>my. Question. I wanna be like you what woud you recommend for training.

Sincerely,

Blue kitty,

P.s. You're amazing!

* * *

><p>Dear <em>Blue kitty,<em>

Training? Replacing Omaeda? Like that could happen, Omaeda I must admit does have some tricks up that greasy belly of his. But if you're fast enough, maybe you could. I suggest you train on stealth, speed, and cardio. You can learn more at the new Academy of Stealth. You can get in if you passed the Academy to become a Shinigami and go to that one if you want to be in Squad 2.

Train Hard,

Soifon

* * *

><p>Dear Ichigo,<p>

I see you are a good brother to Yuzu and Karin and you protect them with your  
>life. I have older brother who is nothing like you. All he thinks about is<br>himself. I wish you were my brother instead of him.

Ziya Hitsugaya

* * *

><p>Dear <em>Ziya Hitsugaya,<em>

Well, ever since my mom died, I vowed that I would do my best to help my dad take care of Yuzu and Karin. I think I can understand your brother's actions; he probably never really faced a challenge like death.

Ichigo Kurosaki

* * *

><p>Dear Yuzu<p>

I would love to come to dinner can't wait to see

you and meet your family.

Ziya Hitsugaya

* * *

><p>Dear <em>Ziya Hitsugaya<em>

Dad would love to meet you too! Well, it looks like Karin isn't that excited but my brother Ichigo is! He says you guys were just messaging a few moments ago!

What would you like to eat?

Yuzu Kurosaki

* * *

><p>Dear Captain Hitsugaya,<p>

Thanks for sending Rafe to soul society it means a lot.

There is also something I want to ask you.

I went to the grave yard to pay my respects to my little cousin.

It has been 25 years now since he was killed.

No one should have died the way he did.

Why were you at the grave yard? You seemed to look strait at me with almost  
>sad eyes.<p>

You remind me of him. You look so much like him.

If you're really him I am proud to be a part of your family.

If you're not I still see you as family.

Ziya Hitsugaya

* * *

><p>Dear <em>Ziya Hitsugaya,<em>

_Turns around so you can only see his back. _Sorry, I don't want to talk about my past. Besides, I don't even remember my death or how I died.

Now if you'll excuse me,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

* * *

><p>Ichimaru Gin:<p>

Yes, people do cosplay as you, but they're making you look bad!

MMB35

* * *

><p>Dear <em>MMB35,<em>

Why of course! Only the real copy is perfection!

Just stating the obvious,

Gin Ichimaru

* * *

><p>Tousen Kaneme:<p>

Thank you, Tousen-taicho. The reason I asked was because I found a notebook of  
>death. "Who'se ever name is written in this notebook shall die." Is it justice<br>to kill criminals without blood, making them die from heart attacks?

MMB35

* * *

><p>Dear <em>MMB35,<em>

This is Gin Ichimaru typing for Tousen again! He says it isn't justice that way. He is now blabbering on how he heard today on our new television set we got about how this guy was killed but then they found out he was innocent. Tousen says that he has heard of that book you're talking about too, something about an anime called Death note.

Your favorite,

Gin Ichimaru and Tousen

* * *

><p>Inoue Orihime:<p>

I'm awfully sorry, Inoue-san. I truly didn't mean to hurt you by telling you  
>that. Is there anything I can do to help you?<p>

MMB35

* * *

><p>Dear <em>MMB35,<em>

Well, would you like to try this new recipe I made today?

Orihime Inoue

* * *

><p>Arisawa Tatsuki:<p>

Mind if I help kicking Kurosaki's ass?

MMB35

* * *

><p>Dear <em>MMB35,<em>

Sure! _Gives another kick. _Aim for the parts that make him scream like a baby! For example, the stomach! _Kick! Ichigo faints from all the pain; only to wake up to another one of Tatsuki's kicks._

I'm giving Ichigo hell,

Tatsuki A.

* * *

><p>Hirako Shinji:<p>

You are the greatest of the Visored, better than Hiyori. If I can quote on my  
>videos from YouTube, Hiyori is a "creep ass". Another thing, beware of<br>Rukia141 interviewing you guys, she will make your Inner Hollow seem to be a  
>kitten. And why the hell is Lisa wearing the outfit she's wearing now? Is she<br>asking to be raped?

_MMB35_

* * *

><p><em>Dear MMB35,<em>

Oh, my thank you! See that Hi- _Slap! Kick! Punch! _Actually, never mind but still thank you! Lisa's outfit? Well, I rather not talk about it. Something about Kyoraku I heard.

Shinji Hirako

* * *

><p>Kurosaki Ichigo:<p>

Yes, I am your true father. All that you see is your training, making you  
>ready to join me.<p>

_MMB35_

* * *

><p><em>Dear MMB35,<em>

_Runs over to Isshin. Isshin sits down at the computer screen. _Hello, this is Isshin Kurosaki um must I say Ichigo's REAL DADDY! YEA! I'm sure you don't want to know the process on how Ichigo became my son but I'm glad his training suits you!

Ichigo, DADDY IS GOING TO SAVE YOU!

Isshin Kurosaki

* * *

><p>Kurosaki Yuzu:<p>

You wouldn't remember because you were dead. In Hell, you breathed in too much  
>miasma, which was killing you. Your onii-chan was angry that you died, so<br>angry that he nearly killed the human race to save you. Is it really that much  
>to turn Earth into a living Hell. And yes, your onii-chan is a demon. He<br>cruelly hurt Inoue-san's feelings and he brutally killed an innocent person  
>just because he was curious about his hair colour<p>

MMB35

* * *

><p>Dear MMB35,<p>

_Gasps! Chokes! Gasps again! Starts trembling. _Onii chan? Doing all those bad things? I don't think I can believe all this stuff! _Faints._

Yuzu Kurosaki

* * *

><p>To Aizen,<p>

...You can't deny the truth. Your hair is a mullet hair.

But anyway, if you don't like that nickname, I'm going to nickname you as...

The Epic Fail god.

XD

~Minichae

* * *

><p>Dear <em>Minichae,<em>

Well, now, let's delete "fail" and that would be fine. Now wouldn't it? I am planning something right now as I sit here with only a pathetic computer as I type!

The Shinigami won't know what hit them!

Aizen S.

* * *

><p>To Orihime,<p>

Are you sad when Ulquiorra died?

Pretty tragic death...

*tries to hide tears with a smile*

~Minicha

* * *

><p>Dear Minicha,<p>

Well, I guess so. He was actually really nice to me. Despite the words he said to me when Grimmjow was around.

Orihime Inoue

* * *

><p>To Gin,<p>

Yes! Yes, I love your smile and eyes. Your eyes are not creepy... Aizen's  
>hair's creepier... :D<p>

~Minicha

* * *

><p>Dear Minicha,<p>

Thanks now why don't you try? Now don't tell him I said this but I must agree with you on the hair thing. Did you know every night when he is in the bathroom he sings some singer from the World of the Living called Elvis? He put his hair like that to look like him! But no offense, I must agree with the name you gave him also The Epic Fail god.

Don't tell him I said that,

Gin Ichimaru

* * *

><p>To Isshin,<p>

You always crack me up~ :D

By the way, are there such things as the 'Zero division'?

~Minicha

* * *

><p>Dear <em>Minicha,<em>

Well, actually, I don't even know that myself. I haven't really been to Soul Society for so long now I am starting to forget a lot of things.

Sorry I am not that helpful,

Isshin Kurosaki

* * *

><p>To Tousen,<p>

Well... That is a weird way to monitor things...

~Minicha

* * *

><p>Dear <em>Minicha,<em>

This is Gin Ichimaru here typing for Tousen who is blind obviously. Tousen is currently um, well, away shopping for clothes for the Espadas, me and Aizen. He probably won't be back until another 3 hours seeing how he starts feeling the cloth and everything.

Gin Ichimaru

* * *

><p>To Uryu,<p>

So... What if there's another Quincy? Not your dad, not you? Just... another  
>one?<p>

~Minicha

* * *

><p>Dear <em>Minicha, <em>

As much as I would hope, there isn't another Quincy. But if there was, I would like to see what differences we have and powers. It's nice to learn from someone who isn't as strict as my dad.

Uryu Ishida

* * *

><p>To Soi Fon,<p>

How would you react if Yoruichi and Kisuke ran away with each other once  
>again? XD And do you sometimes see Yoruichi as the older sister you never had?<p>

Just really curious.. that's all!

10WeaponsKunoichi10

* * *

><p>Dear <em>10WeaponsKunoichi10,<em>

Well, I would definitely find them and beat up that BEEP Kisuke Urahara! And for Yoruichi? I do see her as the older sister I never had, but most of the time, I admire her beauty and her abilities. She is lifelong my goal. Yoruichi lets me try to make myself better, to get stronger.

Soifon

* * *

><p>To Orihime,<p>

If you could make 1 wish, what would it be?

Too nosey for my own good..

10WeaponsKunoichi10

* * *

><p>Dear 10WeaponsKunoichi10,<p>

Well, I would wish for everybody to be happy. That way, there wouldn't really be any problems.

Orihime Inoue

* * *

><p>To Kon,<p>

Have you ever actually managed to get a girlfriend? And can you control your  
>pervertness? Lol but I think your super cute as a stuffed animal anyway!<p>

10WeaponsKunoichi10

* * *

><p>Dear 10WeaponsKunoichi10<p>

I have when Ichigo ditched me during our time at the Soul Society. Ah, we had a nice bath, she gave me so many good foods, and…and…_Starts drooling and falls asleep.._

Kon

PS. I know I'm cute!

* * *

><p>To Aizen,<p>

GIVE UP! Do you REALLY think the Soul Society will allow you to succeed in  
>your EVIL plans? Think again! Ha!<p>

P.S. Why? Why do you do it? And don't tell me it's none of my business I WILL  
>find out.. one way ar another...<p>

10WeaponsKunoichi10

* * *

><p>Dear 10WeaponsKunoichi10,<p>

Give up? NEVER! I do it because it is part of me. Part of my dreams. Part of my goals. If you had an ambition that you have wanted for decades wouldn't you want to achieve it? If you join me, I can make that happen.

Aizen S.

* * *

><p>Dear Aizen-<p>

My friend asked me to ask you that if you had a stalker, how would you deal  
>with them-without using your shinigami powers or killing them?<p>

-Tailsdoll123

P.S: Love the hair

* * *

><p>Dear Tailsdoll123,<p>

If I had a stalker… hmm, it depends on if he stalked me because he wanted to join me or because he is a spy. IF he was a spy, I have a detonator that crawls slowly to the inside of your heart and drains out all your energy, then your blood and lastly your skin. It's all rather beautiful don't you think?

Aizen S.

* * *

><p>dear Tatsuki,(i feel stupid for saying this, but the hell with)i think you are<br>very attractive, and was wondering why is it that you decided to get into  
>martial arts, and who's the toughest opponent you've ever faced?<p>

I'm my Own OC

* * *

><p>Dear <em>I'm my Own OC,<em>

Um thanks? I went into Martial Arts ever since I was friends with Orihime. A lot of guys are perverted and like to mess with her. So I thought that I should start protecting her. My toughest opponent is actually Ichigo believe it or not. He just has the will that makes him want to keep going no matter what. Which I think is hard to beat.

Tatsuki A.

* * *

><p>Dear Aizen:<p>

You failed so miserably! Why did you get so cocky! Now you're imprisoned with no  
>way out... Huuuu. You have one chance now since rukia141 let you out...<br>Together however... We can change that... What do you say?

Waiting your reply: xJ11Cx

* * *

><p>Dear <em>xJ11Cx,<em>

Why is everyone thinking that I will fail? What happens if I told you I have just created right here in this cell something so scary that you can't even keep your pants on! Well, right now under the foolish Shinigami's very noses, I am planning something so evil and I planned to get captured. Do you think I am so weak that I could get defeated by some orange brat? Do you think that I can be so easily contained? Well, young one, join me, and the world could be yours tomorrow.

Please think it through very carefully,

Aizen S.

* * *

><p>Dear<br>super-weakling/Manlover/CryBaby/Strawberry/freakofnature/Emotional-wreak/Baka

A.k.a. Ichigo kurosaki.

I hate you with all my being. Go fight Aizen again and this time without  
>Urahara saving your ass. And then die a slow extremely painful death, and for<br>the love of bleach don't censor it. I want to see you BLEED! But don't worry.  
>I'll keep your sisters safe. There normal. Unlike you. You<br>freind-betraying/bitchy/power-hungry/midget-hating/over-glorifed/gay/virgen/perverted/women-hating/terrible-guard/useless-tool/spary-on  
>abslittle-girly mother fucker... Please die...

Sincerely: xJ11Cx

P.S. When you die I call DIBS on your power... I'll harvest it and use it for  
>something useful...<p>

* * *

><p>Dear <em>xJ11Cx,<em>

Usually, I won't answer these types of messages since the creator abercrombie1218w told me not to. How it's um, "not polite." She says. How it's all about self-control, or else a lot of us would have already cussed you guys out! Anyway, I'm leaving it to Toshiro; he told me he has some unfinished business with him and that if I get in his way, he won't be responsible if he "accidentally" kills me in the process. Oh and I am NOT a friend-betraying/bitchy/power-hungry/midget-hating/over-glorified…etc. (I don't feel like typing all the descriptions that are describing you) See look, you just said you DIBS on my power. That means you actually think I'm strong and everything, you even said it was useful. So first you say I'm all that then you tell me that you like my powers. What type of person are you? And aren't you in Jennifer's group? (Please refer to Interview: Bleach Pairings! It's an AWESOME fanfic!)

Don't know why I even replied,

Ichigo Kurosaki

* * *

><p>Dear Aizen,<p>

I'm next on your list? Aww, I feel so honored! Not. I'm an author sir; we have  
>powers that you can't even comprehend. In fact you're every action, thought, and<br>word is controlled by a mangaka, similar to an author, named Tite Kubo. I'm  
>not particularly scared of you.<p>

Animekisses

* * *

><p>Dear <em>Animekisses,<em>

I am very aware about this "Tite Kubo" you talk about. He created my story, and he will create an ending where I will win. I am plotting something every minute, every second I'm in my cell. You and those arrogant things will lose and I will become the god of the Universe! _Does evil laughter._

Aizen S.

* * *

><p>Dear Ishin,<p>

Heh, I didn't expect Ichigo to let you give me the full answer. But the  
>thought of your face when ya read it was priceless. And kudos to being my<br>favorite anime dad, that's a high honor :)

Animekisses

* * *

><p>Dear <em>Animekisses,<em>

Oh, I am very honored! Thank YOU! As for Ichigo, he is still sort of in shock that I am a Shinigami since he didn't show it when we were in battle. Also, we have been spending some "father and son" quality time together due to the fact that I know now.

Thanks,

Isshin Kurosaki

* * *

><p>Dear Kensei,<p>

Tch. I still say it's a cover up. My minds not dirty, well that dirty anyway.  
>I blame highschool; it has corrupted my innocent mind. While your here, how do<br>you feel about being paired up romantically with Mashiro?

Curious, Animekisses

* * *

><p>Dear <em>Animekisses,<em>

Well, you still don't believe me? It's true; you can ask my Shinji, Lisa, and everyone else. They all know. As for you, what do you young people think of these days? Always about love this and romantic that, it's all rather mind-jumbling! That's what Shinji said while we had lunch the other day.

I don't like Mashiro like that,

Kensei M.

* * *

><p>Dear Orihime,<p>

Awkward? D: Orihime, why? Who cares if he's a hollow, love can conquer all!  
>Wow, that sounds lame. But seriously, I shall never stop believing in<br>UlquiHime. You should give up on Kurosaki already. You're too good for him ;)

Animekisses

* * *

><p>Dear <em>Animekisses,<em>

Oh, well I don't know! Ever since Rukia141 (Please refer to Interview: Bleach Pairings!) started the interviews about romance my feelings start getting all confused and mixed up! I'm not sure what to say!

That was weird, why did I say that?

Orihime Inoue

* * *

><p>Dear Renji,<p>

I LOVE YOU!

That is all.

P.S.: Be happy your being called pineapple instead of monkey face.

Red6

* * *

><p>Dear <em>Red6,<em>

Thanks, but I'm not going to say your my favorite fan due to the word pineapple that was part of your letter.

Seriously offended,

Renji Abarai

* * *

><p>Hisagi - first of all, you do know that Kensei is still alive (and is a<br>Visored) right? Secondly, even though the chances are low, how would you react  
>if he was reinstated as the 9th division captain?<p>

Kiwi-kiwi-kii

* * *

><p>Dear <em>Kiwi-kiwi-kii,<em>

Yes I know that he is still alive. I saw a glimpse of him as I was fighting the Espadas and Tousen. If he were to be the 9th captain again? Well, truly honored, after all he saved my life.

Hisagi S.

* * *

><p>Rangiku - Gin wouldn't answer, so I'm asking you. Exactly what are your<br>feelings towards him? Like, are you mad at him, or do you still see him as a  
>friend, or ... *blushes* ... ARE YOU IN LOVE?<p>

_Kiwi-kiwi-kii_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Kiwi-kiwi-kii,<em>

I guess I am mad at him for being so freaking stupid for dying that way! Before though,_ blush, _I don't know- what is with you people? Always getting caught up in someone else's business!

Going to the bar,

Rangiku Matsumoto

* * *

><p>Renji - WHY do you get mad when people call you a ... 'That Fruit'? If you<br>hate it that much then change your hairstyle...

Kiwi-kiwi-kii

* * *

><p>Dear <em>kiwi-kiwi-kii,<em>

I get mad because it's ANNOYING! It's freaking REPETITIVE! Change my hairstyle? I'm not obsessed with my hair; I only put it up so it won't get in the way while I'm fighting. Besides, don't tell him this but I saw Captain Kuchiki the other day in front of a large mirror looking at himself and doing his hair! I mean what the HECK! I've seen Captain Zaraki with his hair and styling gel and all that but Captain Kuchiki? That's what you call OBSESSED!

Renji Abarai

* * *

><p>Kensei - you should grow out your hair to be like when you were a captain, you<br>look younger with it short. You're still sure badass though - my 3rd favorite  
>character! And btw, yes Hisagi is a lieutenant - you might not remember, but<br>you saved him from a hollow when he was a kid, and inspired to join the Gotei  
>13. He got a 69 tattoo in your honor :)<br>Kiwi-kiwi-kii

* * *

><p>Dear <em>Kiwi-kiwi-kii,<em>

Ah, Hisagi? I caught a small peak of him when we went to help Ichigo defeat the Espadas, Gin, Tousen, Aizen and them. Yes, I've heard he is a lieutenant. Ichigo has kept us updated with information and we also have our own sources as well.

He's a smart kid,

Kensei M.

* * *

><p>Dear Captain Soifon,<p>

Can I be your lieutenant? Please? I know I would do a better job than Omaeda.  
>And I don't complain.<p>

Awaiting your answer,

Dark (but nice) queen

* * *

><p>Dear <em>Dark (but nice) queen,<em>

I've heard many requests about this and now I'm just, sorry, going to say no. I tried to register someone else for the position the other day to Yamamoto but he told me that I should be content with the "excellent" lieutenant I currently have.

Don't say I didn't try,

Soifon

* * *

><p>Dear Kensei, all girls born in the last, oh, say 20 or 30 years think that<br>way. For some it shows more than others, simply because they either A: Lack  
>the necessary filter required to keep the perversion in, or B: Because they<br>simply don't give a crap and/or didn't have an extremely sheltered life. Trust  
>me when I say we are subjected to perverse influences almost from the day we<br>are born. Don't be a hypocrite when you know exactly what she was talking  
>about, and don't blame us for getting mildly aroused when we see you, we are<br>wired by evolution to be somewhat attracted to your body type. Your question  
>is: Why, in anyone's right mind, would someone get their goddang abdomen<br>tattooed that number set if they know what it means? I don't care if it's part  
>of your name and rank, you might as well have tattooed "Smut Monster" on your<br>forehead for all the good it does you.

Griffon of the Nights

* * *

><p>Dear Griffon of the Nights,<p>

Well, that was my purpose when I got the tattoo. And it's true too. Some of you people are so harsh thinking that I was thinking of a _sex position_. Yeah, you're probably like oh my gosh he knows! (Got some of you young people language from Shinji on how he was at Ichigo's school and everything) Well, god BEEP I know! But that wasn't the reason I got it. Do I have to repeat myself? Besides, I got the tattoo first of all, because as you said my name and rank. Also, it gets the women attracted to you! Kyoraku told me that after I got it. Then, you should have saw Lisa when she smacked his face.

The old days were better,

Kensei M.

* * *

><p>Dear Urahara, you like the nickname? You'll have to make me laugh pretty damn<br>hard to get me to call you that again, also, if you see Kensei looking like he  
>got his face sunburnt badly, I have struck again! Ahahaha! No man may<br>withstand my epic perversion lessons! Just ask him, he's gonna be that  
>red-faced around women for a week or so. Your question, ever thought about<br>taking some of Orihime's cooking and running some tests on it? It's pretty  
>nasty but you may find out something useful lurking in that...er...What do you<br>call whatever it is she makes? A concoction sounds about right.

Griffon of the Nights

* * *

><p>Dear Griffon of the Nights,<p>

I just went to the visit the Vizards today and Kensei seems fine. He was smiling and quote "having a good day" he said. He told me about your "perverted message" and got me going back to my shop to see if I got one of your "lessons." And what do you know? You sent me a message! Oh yes, and I love the nickname, it shows that I have more fans than Yoruichi in some sense. Speaking of Yoruichi, she left to Soul Society so the shop has been very clean and quiet these days. You're probably wondering how? Well, when she's in cat form you know how cats cough up fur? It's rather terrifying if I may say so. The sound of choking and everything is pretty scary. Then, she is super loud when she eats. And she like eats all day! And about your question…yes I have but it didn't really turn out that well. The tomato that was in the um soup she says sort of blew up and flew everywhere. Then Tessai told me to take a break just in case I might get burned.

Her cooking should be used as a weapon,

Kisuke Urahara

* * *

><p>To Ishida, I saw what you did to Kon, gotta say, you're a (somewhat) evil<br>genius after my own heart. Bravo! He doesn't even suspect that you put the  
>Quincy mark on him, Haha! Your question is: Is the fabric on your Quincy<br>uniform particularly expensive? And does it come in red?

Griffon of the Nights

* * *

><p>Dear Griffon of the Nights,<p>

Well, the fabric I guess is expensive. I don't really know since I usually make my own just in case it rips or anything. Red? Well, that was more for design.

Ichigo's lurking out too much spiritual pressure,

Uryu Ishida

PS. Kon loves it. Well, sort of.

* * *

><p>For Gin, I meant by accident Foxy kun, and thanks for sympathizing with me<br>about my so-called "Friend" (Psshht, with friends like these, who needs  
>enemies?) Your question: Having fun pranking the peeps over at Rukia141's? I<br>know I would. 8D

Griffon of the Night

* * *

><p>Dear Griffon of the Night,<p>

Oh Rukia141's place eh? Very fun beats staying at Hueco Mundo and everything. Did you see Ichigo and Rukia kiss? Well, I made sure they stepped on the mistletoe! Foxy kun? Gin sounds nice to me but okay with the nickname. I'm planning to put up some fireworks some time.

Gin Ichimaru

* * *

><p>To Chad, ya know, any person who would call another person a<br>monster just because that person is different is the REAL monster, and should  
>have a warning shot fired, into his face if possible. Your question is: Why do<br>you think people ostracize other people? Because I wanna do some serious  
>damage to their faulty reasoning systems.<p>

Griffon of the Night

* * *

><p>Dear Griffon of the Night,<p>

….._stares at the screen with a plain face….sees Ichigo running outside….Chad leaves and goes to find Ichigo…_

Chad

* * *

><p>Dear Orihime,<p>

You are such a sweet and innocent girl! I, myself feel as if I have to protect  
>your innocence like Tatsuki! Anyway I need to ask ya something. What is your<br>favorite dish to make? My odd dish is apple chicken: D (sounds weird, but it  
>tastes a-maze-ing~ oh and it has bacon 8D).<p>

~OpX3~

* * *

><p>Dear OpX3,<p>

Thank You! My favorite dish? Well, it's a combination of red bean paste, peanut butter, chicken, potatoes, peaches, fish, pasta, avocadoes, and some cinnamon apple. It's rather yummy but when I try inviting Ichigo or Ishida over to eat it, they seem to always have plans.

Contacting Rangiku instead,

Orihime Inoue

* * *

><p>To Caption Hitsugaya, Happy Birthday!<p>

I know your birthday has past but Happy Birthday anyway.

I would get you something but I don't have any money to do so.

So when you are in the world of the living I can always let

you stay at my place, without Matsumoto she can stay at Inoue's. That  
>way you can think and the food is edible.<p>

I also have a room set up for you too with dragon designs everywhere. Ice  
>dragons mainly because of your Zanpakuto,<p>

Hyorinmaru.I hope to see you soon.

Take Care Captain.

Ziya Hitsugaya

Ps. If Matsumoto has to be at your side, she has to go my rules, which involes  
>helping keeping the house clean, and help you with the paperwork!<p>

* * *

><p>Dear Ziya Hitsugaya,<p>

I'll keep that in mind and thanks, I really don't care about my birthday it's just like any other day in the year.

(From the author abercrombie1218w: Sorry I post this up so late! Been really busy with homework!)

Toshiro Hitsugaya

* * *

><p>Rukia:<p>

The next time you attempt to change my bed sheets into that of those hideous  
>bunny creatures, I WILL FORBID YOU TO WATCH CHAPPY CARTOONS AND LOCK YOU OUT<br>OF MY ROOM.

Bunnies should die,

Ichigo

* * *

><p>Dear <em>Ichigo,<em>

Funny you have the same name as Ichigo…wait, you are! Well, _Ichigo, _you didn't need to have an attitude about it! In fact, right now, I'm coming over with Brother so prepare a room for him since we're on a mission. But my mission really is to kick your BEEP!

Rukia Kuchiki

* * *

><p>Dear Ichigo,<p>

So I noticed When he's in his shinigami form, your dad has a haori around his  
>shoulder; did you notice it to? was he a captain? What division? Also,<br>remember how when you went to save Rukia and how everyone talked about how  
>freakishly strong you were for a human? What happens when you die? This<br>thought makes me a bit scared for my life...oh, and one more thing, WHY THE  
>HELL ARN'T YOU A CAPTAIN? YOU ALREADY BEAT A TON OF CAPTAINS AND ARRANCARS AND<br>EVERYTHING ELSE! YOU EVEN HAVE A F***ING BANKAI! DO THEY WANT YOU TO BE DEAD  
>FIRST OR SOMHING! yes, that must be it. Now think of how much better your life<br>would be if you were dead...

-lilyrosa143

* * *

><p>Dear <em>lilyrosa143,<em>

Yeah I noticed he was a captain due to the haori. But I rather not ask him what division, he won't tell me and every time I bring up the Soul Society his eyes are filled with sadness and a little mixture of hatred. It seems to get him in a bad mood. When I die? Well, I probably go to the Soul Society and I go to the Academy and everything. Why I'm not a captain? Well, a captain has to be there all day long doing paperwork and stuff. And I guess yea, I have to be dead first, so it can be "official" and it won't interfere with my school life.

I don't think my life would be any better if I were dead,

Ichigo Kurosaki

* * *

><p>dear Aizen,<p>

i feel the need to respond to earlyer comments.I am wholeheartedly sorry if  
>you ever believed that i implied that you liked hinamori.I want advice on a<br>few things you know from here it goes:

whenever i lied i felt a dull ache in my stomach, know i feel nothing. Maybe  
>it's because i do it all the though i feel nothing when i lie, i<br>feel confused feeling do you do it?Your faqade is so much like  
>mine it's not even funny i just havent revealed myself yet. im preppy and<br>worryless on the outside but im numb on the found me out, how  
>do you take off yours so effortlesly?Do you ever get used to the numb feeling<br>of emtionlessness?I don't feel anything other than only time ive  
>truly cried was when my boyfriend said he loved me and i couldn't tell him i<br>loved him reason i hate you so much is that you remind me of my dad,  
>and even more of funny thing is when you stabbed momo i saw me as the<br>attacker and do you deal with it?what pain drove you towards your  
>goals?I am lost beyond you look at it i'm worse than didn't<br>betray your family.

hopelessly confused,

mysterios

* * *

><p>Dear mysterios,<p>

Truly, I don't feel that. You are human; you are born to feel the pain and everything. But I am a god, soon to be the god of this Universe. Stabbing Momo only increased my esteem. I take what you call "pain" and turn it into power. I didn't feel any pain or sadness, I felt victory.

Join me and I can help you with that,

Aizen S.

* * *

><p>Dear Aizen,<p>

So how long do you plan on staying imprisoned? Do you really expect us to  
>assume you lost? No, you are way too smart for that, I mean, you planned<br>Ichigo's entire hero's journey. You know him perfectly; you know how he would  
>react to any situation. You know how Urahara would react. You knew since the<br>very beginning that Gin would betray you, and, you knew he was not strong, or  
>smart enough to do it. I'm rather surprised no one has relised that you knew<br>exactly how the final battle would turn out. Sometimes I thimk you are a mary  
>sue, complete with magic author powers. I can see a few ways being imprisoned<br>can be useful, but, since you are my second favorite character, (my favorite  
>is Hichigo) I truly hope you accomplish your goal there soon and return to the<br>story.

love, lilyrosa143

* * *

><p>Dear <em>liyrosa143,<em>

Well, I am planning something evil right now as we speak. Something the Shinigami would fear, something those Captains and Central 46 would fear. I'm glad you noticed my power.

If you join me, I can help you and give you some of that power when I rule the Universe as god,

Aizen S.

* * *

><p>To everyone<p>

does it scare you that your entire life is controlled by one person (usually  
>Tite Kubo but in this case abercrombie1218w) and theres nothing you can do<br>about it? Do you feel confused by the fact that if you, in this fanfic feel  
>real, that there are thousands of other yous that feel just as real? Does it<br>make you feel awkward that millions of people obsess over you?

Lilyrosa143

* * *

><p>Dear lilyrosa143,<p>

Well, it looks like I got the question this time. This is Kira by the way. Well, it doesn't really scare us, now that we know about our "creator" and everything and we have met abercrombie1218w. It sort of did feel awkward at first but now we're just used to it.

Thanks for the I guess, concern,

Kira Izuru

* * *

><p>Toshiro~first off...HAPPY BIRTHDAYY! ^^ and second...im sorry for being rude<br>earlier! gin~YOU'RE AMAZING! did you know that! You always make me smile! i  
>love your smile it makes you mysterious! and i love it! can i have a hug?<p>

Toshirolovr94

* * *

><p>Dear toshirolovr94,<p>

Um thanks? (From abercrombie1218w: Sorry! I know that I updated a bit! My apologies!) Hug? I'm not so sure about that. Um what about, doing some paperwork for me?

We had a new load of paperwork today,

Toshiro Hitsugaya

* * *

><p><strong>My! That is the last time I do line breaks in between letters because that took like 20 minutes! All the scrolling and everything! Wow! That's everyone! On a Word document that was just 28 PAGES! The LONGEST Chapter I ever did and I did EVERYONE's REVIEWS! I'm sorry that I haven't updated so long and happy belated birthday to Toshiro as well as myself who was on the 18<strong>**th****! Thanks so much to everyone for your concerns and keep the reviews coming! There are only 2 CHAPTERS LEFT FOR THE SPECIAL! **

**Thanks,**

**Abercrombie1218w**


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